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I went to visit my father in assisted living yesterday. There I met the son and daughter-in-law of another resident of the facility. I noticed immediately that the son smelled bad of alcohol and was going on about his recent vacations and the new car he just bought. Apparently he is part owner of a large regional alcoholic beverage distributor. After they left my brother comes to visit and my father says that the son, who my brother has met a number of times before, was just here and was drunk again. I said "Again? Well it's ironic: he owns an alcohol distributor.". Then my brother says "Well, he's rich".



I'm guessing my brother was saying that the son is rich and I'm not so I have no right to say anything negative about the son. I'm not letting this bother me abut I'm not sure if what I heard was the way I should interpret it. Does anyone know if this is a kind of fallacious argument?



I'm asking because now I really need to know when my brother was be visiting so I can avoid him. I am so sick and tired of being put down and treated like trash.

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if you go there to see yoyr dad, make your visit about your dad, or a meal with him there, or an activity event they may sponsor there, or bring a game or puzzle or coloring pages to do with your dad to avoid any one you dont want to see orvtry to pick times you know others wont be there, you ate priority in this, make a plan, and put your needs first which include time w your dad. you can do it, be strong.
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I’m not seeing an issue here. Seems like a harmless noncommittal comment.
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Lisa,

Do you care more about the drunk or feeling like your brother was insulting you? Or both equally?

I think it’s best if you do avoid your brother because you seem to despise him. Your arguments go way back, without any attempts to live in harmony. You probably bring out the worst in each other.

Be happy that your dad is being cared for in his facility. If you want to report this drunk, then go ahead.

Do you feel any warm feelings for your brother at all? Do you have any gratitude at all in regards to him finding a nice facility for your dad to live in?

Let it be. There is absolutely no point in holding onto grudges with your brother. It’s making you miserable. I hope that you find peace one day.
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I wouldn’t want someone who is noticeably impaired in my dads room in his facility. I would complain to facility about this.

Just because this guy might be rich does not mean he gets to be a nuisance to the residents.

Thats the issue at hand. It is not about how you interpreted your brother’s statement.
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NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2023
She has a way of blaming her brother for all of her misery! She has made this clear in her past posts.
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"Well, he's rich" = he can do dumb stuff and fix his dumb mistakes with his money.

My version of this line is someone "having more dollars than sense"
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I think that you’re reading way too much into this. Take time to think about your brother’s comment.

Did he put you down in any way, shape or form? Nope!

His remark wasn’t a personal insult. He wasn’t insinuating anything about you. He made a comment about a guy being rich. That is all it was.
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Lisa, your interpretation of your brother's comments were quite the stretch.

Have you ever come out of these interactions with your brother asking yourself, "It is me?"

Yes, it is.
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If you don’t want someone who is drunk in the immediate area of your dad, that seems reasonable. You could complain to the person in charge of the facility if that is the case.

Drunks can be obnoxious. I don’t like being around them because their behavior can be rude and unpredictable. Plus most drinkers don’t think they smell bad, but they do. The body eliminates alcohol through sweat, and I as well as others can detect the odor.

Now if it’s your brother you wish to avoid, that’s a different problem. Find out if it’s legal in your state to put a tracker on his car. Probably not.
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Synonyms of fallacious
fallacious
adjective

Definition of fallacious

as in unreasonable
not using or following good reasoning
it's fallacious to say that something must exist because science hasn't proven its nonexistence

Synonyms & Similar Words

unreasonable
irrational
unreasoning
illegitimate
misleading
unreasoned
illogical
weak
absurd
foolish
invalid
silly

Agreed! Your argument here is fallacious lisatrevor😁
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"Rich" seems to be a common theme with your posts! But wait, it's your mean brothers wife who's rich...isn't it? And drinking alcohol is legal all over, isn't it? Well maybe not in Utah, I'll Google it to make sure.

I'm off to Dictionary.com "fallacious " right now......brb
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Riverdale Apr 2023
Its legal in Utah. Middle daughter and family live there
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I think your brother meant that because he is rich, the man feels he can do anything he wants. And if u and brother are still not getting along, that was a good time to say goodbye.
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Lisatrevor, from your many past postings here it seems to me you frequently negatively misconstrue statements and come here looking for validation that your interpretation is correct. Many times I've seen posters reply who try to help you get a life and stop dwelling and ruminating on things your father or brother say. This time at least you say you are not letting it bother you,"I'm guessing my brother was saying that the son is rich and I'm not so I have no right to say anything negative about the son. I'm not letting this bother me abut I'm not sure if what I heard was the way I should interpret it." I would in no way interpret your brother's statement the way you did. And if it truly didnt bother you, why bring it up here looking for advice or support?
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MeDolly Apr 2023
Look whose back Lisa! Right on schedule!

It's not your business, Lisa, with who comes to visit another in the home.

Don't go there when your brother is going, simple resolution.
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