My mother-in-law has dementia and often doesn't know where she is. We moved her in with us. Her bedroom was upstairs in her previous home. The only thing that will come of her going upstairs is hurting herself or waking my young children (ages 4 and 1). A baby gate doesn't stop her. She knows how to open them (despite not being able to do hardly anything else for herself). She will often get out of her bed in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and then head upstairs to "go back to bed". This has led to her disrupting my daughters' sleep every night, which disrupts our sleep and makes for irritable children throughout the day. There is absolutely no reason for her to go upstairs. We don't need a stair lift. We cannot install a door at the bottom of the steps. What can we do to keep her from venturing upstairs?
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/wandering-top-tips-how-to-secure-and-dementia-proof-your-home-432431.htm
Can you make sure the stairs are dark, no lights upstairs, so she cannot easily see them at night? Is there a night light in her room or other lights to guide her back to her room?
I have seen suggestions in the past to put a black or very dark rug at the doorway of a room you do not want an elder to enter. It looks like a hole. I have no idea if this works, but is may be worth a try.
Does Mum have to pass the stairs on her way to and from the bathroom? If not, can you keep the area dark at night?
By its very nature, dementia means a person cannot really learn new things. She is remembering that her bedroom was upstairs and going by instinct. You need to interrupt the instinct.
You may need to try a different type of gate. I have one that pressure fits into a doorway, it is very difficult to release the latch that releases the pressure.
You could try a bright colored note at the bottom of the stairs saying “don’t use the stairs”, assuming she can read and understand what she reads. I’m surprised by how often a client has been able to read and comprehend, even in the later stages of dementia. I would start by pointing the note out to her during the day to see how she responds to it and so that you can get her used to it.
If you don’t think that will work, you could try a baby monitor that will wake you so that you walk her back to her room. This may help to break the old habit and build a new one. So it doesn’t necessarily mean you will be doing this for the rest of her life although it may take a little while of interrupting your sleep.
Good luck💕
Agree with suggestions already made:
Keeping the stairs off limit by physical barriers (installing a lockable door at the bottom) or rely on a baby monitor (to get adult supervision to her quickly).
Would locking her bedroom door be an option you would consider? Certainly not ideal. (But others with elders starting kitchen fires or leaving the home at night have had to consider this).
I would also get a hook or something to create another lock she has to figure out.
I would consider locking her in her bedroom during the night or else hiring a night time sitter.
Use a simple baby monitor so you can make sure she is safe.
Your children need to sleep. What a difficult problem.
Good luck with a solution.
See All Answers