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I know it sounds like a given, but is it something to be concerned about? My brother wants to move my father from a detached house, where he is the only resident, to an assisted living facility ASAP. I am not sure of the set up, but one of the reasons for the move is to have more social contacts. This means greater Covid risk. Right?



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Is your dad vaccinated and boosted?

Does he live in an area where most people are vaccinated and boosted?

What are the policies of the facility in question?

In general, living alone is not good for older, frail seniors; congregate settings offer more diverse experiences and more eyes on the senior's health.
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Everything in life comes with associated risks, from the possibility of a crash while driving in a car to being exposed to listeria from food purchased at the local supermarket. We can't keep people in bubble wrap to reduce all risk, if he is vaccinated and boosted he is as safe as we currently have the ability to make him.
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If your father is vaccinated and doesn't have worrisome underlying medical issues (compromised immune system, obesity, chronic heart/lung illnesses like copd, hbp, etc; diabetes) then if I were in your brother's shoes I would definitely get him someplace where he can be around people. Loneliness is crushing in the elderly.

FYI my 87-yr old MIL is in LTC and survived a bout of original covid in May 2020 because she had no other health issues (just memory issues, mild dementia and chronic back pain). She recovered 100%. Since everyone there is now vaxxed and boosted, there has still been employees who have tested positive yet no residents have died from covid or needed hospitalization. We visit her all the time unmasked, eating with her in her room. And her son (my husband) is not vaccinated and has not had covid that we know of.

Each variant of covid is more contagious but far less deadly. Omicron is like getting a cold. The most recent variant (B-something) will be even less impactful. The only covid number you need to ever worry about is the death rate, not the infection rate. In the past 4 months I've known 3 people who died from covid -- all were unvaccinated AND had 1 or more of the underlying health issues I mentioned above. They were all younger than 70.
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It would be interesting to know how many years brother has been caring for dad and exactly what is dad's health issues.
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lisatrevor Mar 2022
Brother has been taking "light care" of dad for about 5 years. He is just physically frail but can get around on his own. He has just as much social contact with neighbors and friends on the telephone like any other time in his life. He is showing slight cognitive decline, which will may probably get worse, but otherwise he's just like he was at any other time of life.
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Yes, not being isolated leads to a greater risk of Covid, colds, flu, and happiness. We get vaccines in order to avoid the flu and Covid.

My mother tested positive for Covid on the day her memory care was getting their vaccinations, so she couldn’t get vaxxed. She was straight out of the hospital and had heart failure, but she sailed right through Covid with little effect. She was 92, and lived another seven months. She was also on hospice when she had Covid.

Frankly, Covid and how you do if you get it is in your own hands now. Not enough people got vaccinated to ensure herd immunity, so if you don’t want Dad to get deathly ill, be sure he’s vaxxed and boosted. If he doesn’t already have serious respiratory issues and tends to recover from colds, he should be fine in assisted living.

Your brother is wise to get him settled somewhere before a crisis leads to the need for a sudden change in living circumstances.
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AlvaDeer Mar 2022
"Frankly, Covid and how you do if you get it is in your own hands now."
To which I say, AMEN.
There are many other things that figure into whether a senior goes into LTC. Covid is, quite honestly, the least of it all. A senior at home without enough care is in much more danger than a vaccinated senior in care, and exposed to Covid. MUCH more.
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You really have no say in any of this unless you are willing to have dad move in wirh you. I can understand your brothers frustration because he is doing all the heavy lifting and sacrificing when it comes to dad and you are fighting him on everything.

And just like the flu COVID is not going away anytime soon.

Dad's best defense is a strong immune system.

Have you asked dad if he wants to move into assisted living?

Keeping the elderly isolated because you are afraid they will catch COVID is far worse in my opinion.

It's been 2 years people need to start living again and not living in fear because the reality is vaxxed or uvaxxed people can still get COVID and die from it.
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LIsa, you wrote recently that you called your dad the other day and that you found that he was in the hospital, that your brother was there in the ED with dad and that you yourself nearly had to be hospitalized because of that event.

I'm curious what precipitated that hospitalization or ED visit and if in some way it pushed your brother to consider facility care for dad.

Did you attend dad during that emergency? Did you hear what the medical professionals had to say about dad's current situation?

If hearing that dad is in the ED causes you physical symptoms that are serious, it might suggest that you are not the best person to be managing your father's care.

I really do understand that the pushback that you are getting here is upsetting. You want your opinion validated.

As much as we like to tell folks that they are justified in their anger, we need to tell folks the truth as it appears to us, based on our collective experience.
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pamzimmrrt Mar 2022
Wow I missed that post somehow.. in her other hundred posts! Gonna have to look for that one,, this soap opera never ends and is better than a spanish soap opera! dosen't dad have some "unspecified care givers" Lisa was expected to pay for? And doesn't dad live with brother ? I am perpetually confused and lately entertained by all this ! If she nearly had to be hospitalzed because of an ER visit,, you are in my opinion probably not best equiped to deal with him. I totally agree with you Barb.
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Yes the more people are together, the more likely it is that diseases spread. But if you’re boosted, the odds that you’ll actually die are 1 fiftieth that of an untaxed person.

The Al that brother is thinking of might not even take unvaccinated people. The nice ones here do not because every single family is telling them that they only want their lo among the vaccinated.
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You are looking for more reasons why it's a bad idea to move dad into Assisted Living. My mother lived through the plague, in Assisted Living/Memory Care, without ONE SINGLE death occurring, the entire time, with 125 residents in all, and at least 75 caregivers/chefs/admin, etc. In fact, I do not recall one resident even going to the hospital with Covid. Your father, with his 'physical frailty' can fall in his detached house and die, or get run over by a car, or get sick, right? There are no guarantees in life except for one: your father will benefit from more human contact in a senior environment structured specifically with his safety in mind, than he will living alone and interacting with 'neighbors' and others 'by phone'. Plus he will have access to 24/7 caregivers at his disposal simply by pushing a button or pulling a string. I would think you'd be happy for such care!

Also, you do your brother a great disservice & minimize his effort by saying he's "taking "light care" of dad for about 5 years." FIVE YEARS is a long, long time to devote to the care and management of an elder, in ANY capacity whatsoever. Period. Give credit where credit is due, not to mention the credit he deserves for financing dad's luxurious lifestyle. And yes, 'cognitive impairment' a/k/a dementia does not improve, it worsens with time and age, to the point where residential care is often required.
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Anytime you move to a place where you will have more contact with people the greater chance to get "anything" that happens to be floating around. From COVID to Noro Virus, C-Diff, MRSA, Flu, Strep, and more.
This is true for kids going to school, taking a cruise, moving to Facility Living (includes IL, AL, MC and SNF)
You can also run the risk of picking up illness from Caregivers that come into the house particularly if they are working in other homes or facilities. And every time you go out to the store, movies, dinner you run the risk as well.
The more immune compromised a person is the more likely they will pick something up. Much of that is from not being exposed to the greater number of pathogens and it takes a bit of time to build a resistance up. However if you are very ill it is possible that getting sick while building resistance can kill you.
But if you are considering a move because of safety or you can no longer care for him safely then it is a risk worth taking. Unless you can get caregivers that will come in and care for him. That would limit but not eliminate the exposure.
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