Is stress (from caregiving) making your body feel like electricity is going through it? -

Is stress (from caregiving) making your body feel like electricity is going through it?


I've done just about everything to counteract the stress I've been going through, mostly due to the 'personalities' involved in my family. While trying to be the 'good' one in the family to care for my mother, it's been an uphill battle being in the middle of family members. This has been so stressful for me and for my aging mother (which makes me more stressed). How does one (really) cope (all cliché's aside and after counseling, etc. ) with all this family 'drama' when in reality, someone has to step up to care of a parent (in or out of AL)?

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I keep my head down and try not to engage in "drama". I don't have time. Or the energy. If I'm not willing to participate, don't care to defend my actions and decisions, where's the drama? I feel confident that I'm doing the right thing. That's the ONLY person I have to please in this 24/7 job. And that's all I worry about.
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It is really, really hard. Each week is different. For me, I try to stay healthy and I run. Running is my life saver. I have Addison's disease, compartment syndrome, and asthma, so it is NOT easy. I have brothers that add to my stress by their lack of involvement or understanding of how much my mom's Parkinson's and dementia (these are only two of her many problems) have progressed. I know it sounds like a line, but "one day at a time". Hang in there.
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I am up and down with my coping, but for some reason each bad period is followed by a peaceful period with me. I don't know about others, but often I have stressful dreams right before I wake up. They stay with me for a while, like I'm trying to work through them. Maybe it is the working through daily and dream stress that leads to a sense of peace. I find myself saying "That's just the way they are" a lot when it comes to people. I know I'm not responsible for changing them. And I don't have to let them sink into me -- at least not for long.

We have so much control over the stress in our lives. It helps to write about it and hear the soothing remarks of others who understand. We can always walk away from it if it gets too bad. And we can find ways to self soothe. Some people do it by trying to understand and forgive. Others use exercise or music. Each person is different, but we all have the ability to soothe ourselves. I like coming up with mantras, like Feel the fear and do it anyway, This too shall pass, or That is just how they are. They are heartening to me. (Exercise and socializing are excellent for me, too. I'm just about to go do these things.)
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I have the exact same issue with drama creating siblings.
Do you know what, they are not going to change.
So what I did was learn to protect myself and get in a place where I was less susceptible to the drama and more able to handle the stress, which we carers do seem built to cope with.
The issues we face will not go away, but we can make ourselves stronger and less vulnerable to that awful feeling of overwhelment.

My doctor recommended hypnotherapy and meditation/practicing mindfulness.
And boy it is like giving your soul a hot stome massage!! I was cynical, and took me a bit of shopping around to find one I like, but I find Bob Griswold's Youtube sessions lovely. (There are loads on there, all free, try a few to find one that suits you.
Bob's are 10 min sections, but I also do a longer session every now and then.

I have a nice little app on my iphone for practicing Mindfulness... 'Mindfulness Daily', but I am sure Youtube has Minfulness clips freely available.

Look after yourself. Go for walks somewhere pretty, and accept things and people that you cannot change, once I did this I did seem to get less wound up. And my most dramatic brother seems to be less troublesome (maybe because I am less defensive and let him say his nonsense without reaction. I do think he'd often contact me expecting a fight. When I chilled out and didn't get frustrated he actually mellowed a bit. (Still p's me off, but I try to pause and smile now instead of getting annoyed.
(I don't think I'll ever be the Dalai Lama, but I'm less cranky after meditating/hypnosis. Friends have said I'm less 'brittle'.
Give it a go!
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I feel your pain. My only sibling, brother, passed last year ans left me with full burden financially leaving everything to wife and she has been a b*tch so I had to break ties with her. I am under enough stress looking after mom in my home because she had a little trailer and that was it. The only thing worse than bad family is no husband , children or siblings left. Just know you are doing right thing for your mom and don't have any contact with them if they are of no help
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Do you mean that your mother mentioning the fact that your siblings called stirs up emotions? Or do you mean that your mother stirs the pot intentionally by citing how lovely it is of your siblings to call?
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Last time I felt a tingling feeling like electricity, it was a good thing, :-)
But I do not think that is what you had in mind. You probably need some personal rest time. Hope you get it.
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I have come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as a normal family. Every family has issues, some more than other. I still where you are as far as handling the load, but finding this website I think will be a huge help emotionally. I'm only two day into the support group and already I have realized that my feeling are not abnormal or mean. My mantra that works "most" of the time is; If God brings me to it, he will get me through it. Make your decisions with love and they can't be all wrong. Hang in there. Tomorrow is another day, try again.
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I've just recently finished a difficult caregiving job and I find myself depressed and weepy, also feeling like I have the flu. While we are in the midst of the situation we are so busy giving care to others that our own well being is neglected, eventually we crash. Take care of yourself now if you can, stress is a killer.
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Shall I begin with the statement that I dislike the word DRAMA. It indicates that one is acting. Life is the word I believe your looking for?
I can only speak from experience.
I am an R.N.; my husband has solvent dementia & is just 64. I am the only care giver & because after the death of my daughter's he kept saying it was," too much drama " & I called it death, I moved out & now live next to him in the guest house. In the last 6 years I have lost my oldest sister; both of my daughter's at age 39, 15 months apart, my closest friend & minister & here I sit.
Loose the word drama & see it as it is ...LIFE.
I pray a lot & see things differently. Gosh, how the world changed when I changed.
I now find joy in what I do & so very much compassion. I did not realize that I was so lacking in compassion!
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