Is my grandfather giving up on life? What do I do?

Yes, it does sound like he is giving up. It also sounds like he is pulling you down with him.

The next time he falls, or has any kind of crisis (I'd go with bloody urine if had to), call 911 and have them try to convince him to go to the ER. From there he'll probably be held for observation and if need be, admitted for treatment. EMTs tend to hold much more authority for sick elders than adult children do. Good luck and keep us posted!

Blood in his urine could mean that he has a urinary tract infection. This could explain why he is being irrational as infections can impact cognition and make seniors appear to have dementia symptoms.

UTI is a possible cause, along with medication changes. Forgetting to take them or doubling up because you forgot.

If he goes to the ER, you want him admitted, not held for observation. Medicare won't pay for observation, IME.

Your situation sounds very difficult. I have a couple thoughts: he might be depressed- does he live alone? He might be in pain, sleep could be a way to avoid it?
He may be very sick and since he refuses to see the doctor, do you have mobile physicians in your area? He might allow a house call as it’s not such a production as going to the Doctor’s office. He could be very embarrassed by his incontinence. Blood in the urine is NEVER a good thing. And sadly, sometimes we have to wait for a medical crisis or emergency before our loved ones will allow us to help. Hang in there.

If he's urinating blood - he has a medical condition and needs to be tended to by physicians. I am not a doctor/nurse so I can't say more than he needs to be seen and evaluated.

But giving up? That's hard to say - not everyone lives to see 80 and his body can also just be worn out. While my DH reached 96 (so far) - he had 3 sisters pass before they reached 65, one brother that passed at 73 and 2 sisters that 'almost' made it to 95.

If I had to guess, I would think that some infection caused him to sleep more and eat less - but again, I am not in the medical profession. I am just a wife and helping my DH.

The only thing I can say is that he needs to be seen and evaluated. It might be time for an ambulance to take him to the hospital. Or, at least call in HomeHealth and they will evaluate his needs and see that they are carried out.

Shanin as to your father's issue. He NEEDS to see a MD ASAP. Blood in the urine is a serious symptom that should not be ignored. He may have an ongoing low grade infection that could account for his symptoms or he could have cancer. My father had blood in the urine and ignored it for 6 months. When he finially went to the Dr. he had stage 4 bladder cancer. This is nothing to mess with.

I would question if your grandfather is competent to be making decisions about his healthcare. Sometimes people who are mentally not able to use proper judgment with their health care can self neglect. But, if he's still competent, it's really his decision as to whether he seeks medical attention. All of the things you describe do sound alarming though. Does anyone in your family have Healthcare POA for him? What do the other family members say about it? I might consult with an attorney to find out what your options are if things continue. At least, you'll know what proof you need, if things get worse and he still resists medical care. What's so sad, is what if it's something treatable that could make him feel so much better?

Blood in his urine is considered a medical emergency, If he waits, it could only get worse, especially with no diagnosis. Think bladder cancer or prostrate cancer.

Shann, If that is how gdad feels, he needs a diagnosis so he can go onto hospice services and have a good passing. If his doc does not think he is within 6 mos of dying, he can prescribe anti depressants as well as pain relief. He can even decline treatment of anything and have palliative care only from his doc. If he is within 6 mos, he can have palliative care from hospice - comfort care only. That will help him tremendously.