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Its been nearly 20 days that my dad (65years old) hasn't eaten a proper meal, we force him every day to eat, he started to have a lot of nausea and used to vomit a lot and at the same time he had hiccup, which choked him sometimes, but now the hiccup doesn't mostly disappeared and he doesn't vomit a lot recently but he doesn't eat at all, and he lost a lot of weight, now he looks very anorexic and he sleeps all day long, he doesn't move anymore he's always at bed cause he's so weak, even small things he can't do like open a bottle, he always call someone to help him, plus he has diarrhea, we called the ambulance twice but they said to my father to return home for unknown reason, I've never saw him like that, he suffer mostly cause of his herniated disc, cause the more you don't have flesh the more you suffer from it and with that it's hard for him to sleep, he said that he wanted to die, he doesn't talk anymore, and we are so worried (mom, siblings and I) is it too late? Are those signs of deaths? It's crazy how he was so fine months ago but now he's a totally different person...he used to enjoy eating and eat a lot!...

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Why didn't they admit your dad into the hospital?
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haileybug Sep 2020
Sounds to me that your dad needs to be admitted into the hospital. He can not just lay there and not eat anything. That will cause him to get weaker and weaker.
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Anonyme, you do not tell us your father's age or his history. One thing I can tell you is that weight doesn't help herniated disc; in fact it harms them. The spine has a hard time carrying weight.
You do not tell us the medical history here. How long has your father had the bad disc? What has been done about it? What does his doctor say? What is he taking for pain relief.
You mention choking, so it sounds as though there may be a swallow deficit? Has anyone done a swallow evaluation?
From the little you tell me I cannot tell what is happening, what the age, diagnosis or prognosis is. I tried to access your profile, but there really isn't one. So do tell us a bit more. How old is your father, what is his medical history, what does his doctor say, who is caring for him?
We can answer more if you tell us more. So sorry your father is going through this.
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(((hugs))) I'm sure you're very scared right now...

I read your profile - 65 is awfully young to be dealing with "age-related decline"...can you give us some more details on what is wrong, exactly, with your dad besides a herniated disc? I have several herniated discs, and while I'm in pain at times, it doesn't cause me to not want to eat, and it certainly doesn't cause choking, nausea and vomiting. If his pain level is such that that's what he's experiencing, he needs to see a pain management specialist about this. Chronic pain can make life a misery, but there are treatments to help.

Is your father under regular medical care? Does he see his doctor on a routine basis? If not, and he is agreeable, I would say your first step is to get him to a doctor for a full physical. Again, 65 is still considered very young. If he is suffering from any other chronic conditions, the sooner he gets to a doctor, then perhaps the sooner his ailments can start to be addressed. If this is not physical, and say he's suffering from depression, he can seek treatment for that as well.

Tell your mom that you really believe he needs to be seen by a doctor to figure out what's going on with him. Hopefully they can come up with a treatment plan that will make him feel better and give you back your dad...
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"We called the ambulance twice but they said to my father to return home for unknown reason."

I don't understand that part.
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Anonyme Sep 2020
I'm sorry, english is not my first language, and I meant that they gave medicine to my dad without taking him on charge so that he can heal properly at hospital but now he's home and it's hard cause all we can do is watch, and he take his medicine but that's really not helpful
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Do you live in the US? Because here EMTs do not give medicine. I think they can start IVs but without permission from a doctor they can't give medicine. Are you sure Dad didn't refuse to go.

I think you need to tell the EMTs that Dad is to be transported to the hospital. If Dad won't agree, then I would call Adult Protection Services and ask them what can u do. This will be to protect yourselves. May come down to Dad can make his own decision about care but it will be recorded that you tried to get him help. Make sure the call is recorded at APSs end.
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If you have a language barrier--which you say you do--understanding what is going on must be VERY frustrating.

EMT's give NO medicine unless instructed by a Dr. in the hospital where they're going. All dad got was a saline IV, so they 'could' administer meds if needed.

Can you find someone at the hospital where he would go who can translate for you? So you have a clear idea of what is happening?

65 is very young for such problems--it sounds as if he has several.

He's likely weak from malnutrition, something that can be addressed. He desperately needs a full physical and a dr's hands on care. Just letting him lie there and be sick is not pleasant for anyone.

Good luck with this. I hope it is something simple.
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