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I've been working on all the paperwork and problems of moms estate for weeks now. Still a lot to do. Feeling stressed not only from this but normal life. Husbands attitude toward hard things is just do it. Do what you have to. Don't complain or get upset. I am real shy and don't have friends. No family I'm close to. So no words of encouragement or sympathy on how hard this is. I'm happy mom died. If I was sad, I don't know how I'd get through this.

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I mean, no, its not wrong. Yes, it is hard.
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Hadnuff, Yes, what you are going through is hard, and no one knows that better than you. The website has been a bit sad lately, after SharynMarie, Sandwich42, and so many others like you losing their Moms. Others still dealing with that bear of red-tape, paperwork, and not having the support of husbands who just want you to get on with it-not understanding at all it seems. But men want to fix it-when they can't they feel inept. So that you will feel better, and your husband will feel better-ask him to take you out for coffee or a quick ice cream cone. Don't make a big deal about it-just go as you are. Then, thank him with a big hug-say we should do this impromptu more often.
Depression is actually a movement disorder, in that you stop moving. So, keep moving, force yourself. Go through the motions before you are feeling like it.

If you fail, can do nothing for yourself today, get in the shower, wash your hair, crawl back into bed and watch t.v.

You can choose to do this!

Hugs!
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It was a real lift for me to have my brother and sister witness my husband's decline. They don't help except emotionally, and not much of that, but just knowing that they have seen how bad it is cheers me up.

Haven't you learned that husbands are seldom a source of sympathy? As a rule, men just don't do it. This is a good place to get support, even after current troubles are over.

I hate it when people tell me to just stop being late. As if I wouldn't have done it years ago if I could! But I'm going to suggest that you try baby steps to get over being quite so shy. You have a gentle heart, and there are other people in the world that would treasure that in you. Try going to church and looking for someone even shyer than you are. Look for a book club at the library. Even just wishing the cashier a nice day is a place to start. You deserve the comfort of friends, but you will probably have to go through some discomfort first.
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Thanks for your responces. It makes me feel better to know someone understands that this is hard for me.
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You are not wrong. We empathize and sympathize. Virtual hug, and prayers in your direction.
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You want what you want. Right and wrong don't have much to do with it. What you do about what you want is where the ethics come in. Wanting a lot of money isn't necessarily wrong. Working hard and smart to earn it is right and stealing it is wrong.

You want something from your husband that he apparently isn't willing/able to give you. What are you doing about that? Venting here is good. Sitting down and talking to him about your needs is good. Seeing a therapist is good. Maybe seeing a marriage counselor would be good.

Letting your anxiety fester is bad (for you -- not in a moral sense).

I know that you are being treated for anxiety. Are you in some counseling or support group now? Seems like now would be a time you need that!

What you are doing is hard. Doing it without the kind of support you want is harder. You are strong and you will get through this difficult period!

Keep in touch with us here. And vent away!
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This is a difficult time for you, even if you are relieved that your mom's pain is gone. I would look forward to getting things done and being able to move on.

I'm not the best one to ask about wanting sympathy. Sympathy is the last thing I want and if I do get any, I try to stop it as soon as possible. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I might discuss with a counselor why you feel the desire for it. There must be a reason. If it helps you, then maybe, that's a good thing.
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