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After at least 3 years of caretaking for my husband who has dementia, he began to get more aggressive and it's becoming too draining for me to deal with. I am thinking of placing him in a facility, however I feel he may become more demented with only being around these patients. It's killing me to do this but I cannot continue with so little help. I've hired aides but not too many and I find I have to do much much more than any of them ever do. Any thoughts, experience out there? Thank you

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Please know your husband is blessed to have you looking out for his best interests. Sadly, his decline will continue no matter the setting. Memory care will be equipped with professional staff that knows how to cope with the changes he goes through and, importantly, be able to keep him safe. Wandering often becomes an issue and is so frightening, my aunt did this despite an amazing lock system in her home. Once in memory care she enjoyed activities geared to where she was mentally and the wandering was well managed. Your role as his caregiver won’t end, you’ll become his advocate and cheerleader in his new setting. You’ll be better rested and able to see things more clearly. I wish you both peace
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His dementia will progress regardless of where he is, but in Memory Care he'll receive socialization and mental stimulation you cannot provide alone.

My mother was infinitely more alert and engaged when she went to memory care, because she had things to do and to look at that kept her more alert. At home, she was sleeping in a chair all day, getting up only to eat and to go to bed at night. My poor dad was run off his feet trying to take care of her, the house, and not disappear himself. I'm convinced it ended up killing him, and Mom still ended up in memory care.

You need to care for yourself, too, in order to care for him. MC would allow you to hand over the difficult tasks of daily living and free you up to visit and just love on him.
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He’s 95, has dementia, and is aggressive.

We found my LO’s companions in AL to be a mixed bag of abilities and sophistication, but there was also the fact that she was relieved of the burden of forcing herself to act as though her thinking was clear, when she, and the rest of us KNEW that she was experiencing progressing cognitive loss.

In her AL, we were able to get a good diagnosis, carefully administered medication, and after a few months, a comfortable adjustment, until Covid.

I hope your experience worked as well as ours did. Please take good care of yourself.
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