Is it possible to train mom to be alone if necessary?

You need to think of your mom as someone who has the capacity equivalent to a child of 8 or 10 who has ADD, would you consider leaving that child alone for more than a few minutes? There are agencies who provide companion care.

If Mum is not safe to be alone now, keep in mind that her abilities are declining, not increasing.

Have you looked into Adult Daycare or a seniors centre in your community? That could provide her with socialization, a meal and care, while you are at work.

I had a neighbour whose wife had vascular dementia after a serious stroke. He kept her at home for as long as he could. She was lovely, but could not tell the difference between girls and boys any longer. She slowly lost her speech. He took her to the Seniors Centre every day, where she had lunch and played Bridge. It was amazing that she kept the capacity to play Bridge and play it well. It also gave her husband a break.

No, sorry, at the stage Mom is at she should never be alone. Your Mom is too unpredictable at this point.

Thank you all...I'm meeting with an agency next week .

It's good to elder proof the house regardless. You have to sleep at some point right? I turned off our stove years ago. Grandma would love to cook at 3 am. Sometimes she would forget to turn it off before leaving.

There are different ways to deal with the stove. There are somewhat expensive devices you get that will automatically turn off the stove if someone isn't standing right there. I went with induction "burners". They are to stoves as microwaves are to ovens. They have temperature shutoff and will automatically shut off if there's not a pot on it. Unlike a traditional stove that will just keep going even if what's in the pot has boiled off, an induction stove will detect that the temperature is too high and then shut itself off. It's safer. You can get an induction burner for $40-$50. You will have to get induction compatible pots and pans, but that's another $50 for a big set.

Cameras are a good idea even when you are in the house. Just like with a baby monitor, it allows you to keep track of things without being in the same room.

You'll need top hire a professional if you can't find anyone to take your current helps place. This woman should NOT be left alone.

Generally, people who have dementia don't learn new things very well. It's unlikely she will follow the instructions on a note or sign. She may be able to read them, but, not follow the instruction. That was my experience. I will share that as she progresses, it will become increasingly difficult to have her watched by a neighbor, because, she'll likely start needing help with toileting, and that's a biggie. She may also start repeating a lot, which is hard to be around. I'd confirm how much care the neighbor can provide and explore professional help. I'd at least find a backup person, in case the neighbor is unavailable one day. Perhaps, another neighbor who could get there in a few minutes.

She may promise you that she will not do certain things, like open door, leave house, etc. but, she will forget about it and not even realize she did it.

I would avoid leaving her alone though, because the risks are so great. It's not uncommon for people with dementia to wander off. My LO was a real homebody, but, even she started roaming. It was hard to believe.

Wren, do you have durable PoA for your mom? I hope so. In my experience an agency is the way to go. Yes, they are more money but trying to fill in the gaps with people who are not paid, not back-ground checked and not reliable is a lot of work. You will need to think through her increasing needs and how this will play out over time (and this doesn't even include any health issues beyond cognitive ones). You need to think about how the care will be paid for. Many, many seniors wind up applying for Medicaid even though they worked hard and saved their money. The cost of care is incredibly high. In many states there is a "look back" period of up to 5 years, so any financial interactions will be scrutinized by the county when applying for Medicaid. You are early into helping your mom and her needs and dependency will only keep increasing. If I were in your position, I'd spend the money to talk to an elder law attorney/estate planner who can paint the bigger picture for you and help prepare wisely while you still can.

You can do a variety of things that might (notice I said might) make it safer.
The question is would you leave an 8 year old at home for 4 to 5 hours a day? You can tell them not to go outside, tell them not to turn on the stove, not to answer the door but..there is always the chance that they will answer the door when someone knocks, want to make a cup of soup, or go get the mail.
You can place cameras in the house to monitor what she is doing.
You can put an alarm on the door, or one of the video doorbells so you can monitor who comes to the door, who goes out or in.
It will come a time when she should not be left alone.
Most agencies can send someone last minute but "last minute" might be 1 to 2 hours readjusting schedules, locating someone that does not have a shift. And you would want someone that your mom knows, someone familiar with her schedule. You might want to get someone from an agency in now to take 1 day a week so that they get to know mom and so that you can work with the agency should you need someone more days.