My sister is paying an agency over $8,000 a month to care for my mother at home. I am putting in more hours then the agency combined, yet she doesn't feel that she should pay me because she said I should volunteer my time. Does that sound right to you?
Also, most insurance companies will not pay for homecare unless it is through a licensed, homecare agency. I know this because I was an in-home caregiver for 25 years and now am in the business of it.
This is not to say that you should not be paid for your caregiving to your mother. If your sister refuses to pay you, stop doing it until she does. You don't have to be a caregiver for anyone be it paid or free if you refuse. Start refusing.
Tell your sister today that you're not staying if she's not paying.
Have you considered telling your sister that you will not be your mother’s caregiver without compensation?
Have you asked your sister to look at assisted living facilities for your mother so that she no longer needs caregivers at home?
I would tell your sister that she should volunteer HER time and that you are done.
Your mother really needs to be in AL.
I've shared positions where it was round-the-clock care for seniors living alone and it worked very well. It works of everyone does what they are responsible for, including the family members. Family are the ones who screw up a homecare situation that's running smoothly.
Their reasons are usually resentment over the cost. Or they think that because the bill is expensive that the caregiver staff are slaves who are supposed to make their "loved one" the only priority of their lives. Or they try to get more than what they're paying for. Or skip put on their responsibilities and leave it all up to the care staff coming into the home.
When everyone does their part and what they are responsible for, homecare can be a very good option for keeping a person in their home.
Since there is a disagreement within the family about this I think what would be fair is to determine the cost of facility care, less the cost of daytime care, also keeping in mind cost of living beyond actual care needs to be included in that calculation. Charge an amount equal to or less than that. I think you should also explore hiring caregivers to allow you some weekly respite as well as periodic vacations.
”But what would happen to them if I don’t keep caring for mom?”
That would be sister’s problem, and I’m sure she’d find someone else if necessary. I bet she’d offer to pay you if you turned in your resignation. Try it and report back soon.
I wish you luck in getting a better deal for yourself.
I agree with you about how we should view money. It isn’t the root of all evil.
It’s sad when money isn’t looked at in the right context.
Money is a necessary tool when it is used properly. When money isn’t used properly it can cause all sorts of problems within a family.
Whatever the result of giving up this arrangement, you are a complete mug if you keep it going.
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