Is it legal and/or acceptable to be paid by my mother to be her caregiver?

Yes, if you have a contract signed by both of you.

Yes! Absolutely!

A written contract spelling out your services and mother's payment will prevent this money from being considered a gift, if it is ever necessary to apply for Medicaid.

Yes, it has to be medically necessary as determined by her doctor so it does not impact Medicaid eligibility if needed in the future. This is not a do it yourself project of preparing the care agreement. Get an elder law attorney to prepare it.

Are you sure, Glad? My son is a handy man for a living. He does a lot of things for me. He gives me a family discount, but I do pay him. Since I don't have a doctor's order that cleaning my gutters is a medical necessity, does that mean what I pay my son would be considered a gift if I need to apply for Medicaid? Seems odd. It wouldn't be considered a gift if I paid a different handy man firm.

And couldn't I pay my daughter to make meals or clean my house, even if I wasn't medically incapacitated? That medical necessity thing must just apply to certain services, huh? I guess that is where getting a lawyer comes in.

It is legal and acceptable to be paid. Medicaid is the sticking point: how will they view it? If they view it as a transfer of money, rather than payment for services rendered, then they might seek to get that money paid back if your loved one goes into a nursing facility on Medicaid. We got an elder law attorney to draw up a service contract that lays out what services we provide -- room, cleaning, meals, personal hygiene, laundry, 24/7 onsite care -- in return for his payment. As the attorney said, we are the Gold Standard of elder care: at home, one on one care, meals fixed as he likes and served when he wants them, his own bed in his own room, lots of privacy and even a dog he likes a lot. He's getting a bargain; we're not spending down our retirement money to provide this care; and all of this is lots cheaper, thousands of dollars cheaper, than any NH. The state would rather he were being cared for here at home than taking up a bed.

The point of the contract is so the money we're being paid is looked at as an exchange for his benefit, not as a simple transfer of money for our benefit but that is not in his interest. His money; his benefit. And while that can be the case without a contract, that's harder to prove. "Well, you say it was for his care, but...." I've heard Medicaid can be picky about this kind of thing, which is why we went with a lawyer and a contract.