My mother is 76 and an alcoholic. I believe she is in stage 4 of alcoholism. She tries to hide her drinking from me (she does a terrible job of that). I have tried to talk to her a few times but she either denies she has a problem or she gets very angry.
She drinks every night starting between 4 & 5 pm and usually goes to bed around 9 but sometimes stays up much later drinking. She wakes up in the middle of the night and has more drinks. She has 2-3 drinks when she gets up in the morning. I believe if I didn't live with her she would drink all day some days.
During the day when she is not drinking she is withdrawn. She does sudoku puzzles all day and when I say all day, I mean ALL DAY. For hours at a time, puzzle ofter puzzle. I try to talk to her, draw her into conversations but either she is ignoring me or she truly doesn't realize I'm talking.
Lately while she is drinking she will "latch on" to a certain phrase and repeat it over and over and over. I have a 5-month-old kitten who is VERY active and this morning it was "wild and crazy cat!" for over two hours straight. I finally brought him into my bedroom to keep her from saying it anymore but she still repeated it several times before she realized he wasn't downstairs with her anymore.
I don't know if this is dementia or alcoholic dementia. My understanding is that, if it is alcoholic dementia, it should go away if she quits drinking. Is there a difference or is it the same thing?
I know that she's had a drinking problem for at least 20 years but it has escalated since she retired.
I would also like to know what, if anything, I can do legally to get her to get help. In NC I can have her committed for 72 hours but I know if I did that, when she got out she would be LIVID and I'm afraid of what she might do in retaliation.
Im posting two links for you. I hope they help.
The first is on the dementia caused by alcohol.
https://www.ninds.nih.gov/Disorders/All-Disorders/Wernicke-Korsakoff-Syndrome-Information-Page
The second is one started by “UpStream”, a long time poster whose mom was about the same age as yours and an alcoholic. You may find it helpful.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/what-if-i-refused-to-pick-her-up-from-the-hospital-440244.htm?orderby=recent
There are many forms of dementia and people can have more than one.
Alcoholism can mask signs of dementia, we blame their odd behaviour on the drink, but it can also lead to dementia.
If you Mother has been an alcoholic for a long time and stops drinking cold turkey, she can also show signs of dementia.
What applies in your Mum's care? We have know way of knowing. You can ask for an assessment, but you may not get a clear answer.
You said you are a recovered alcoholic, please protect your sobriety. It is far more important that Mum.
If Mum is in denial that she has a problem then you know no amount of talking will change her mind.
If she is driving drunk, I believe you have a moral obligation to inform the authorities. She does not have the right to put anyone else at risk.
Thank you for your concern for my sobriety. If anything, being around her helps me stay sober. I look at her and think "Yep, that's why I quit!"
Yes, she gets her alcohol on her own. I am a recovering alcoholic, she knows I will not get it for her.
Wishing you good luck. I would highly suggest you attend al-anon. For the resources you will be hooked up with, if for no other reason.