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I take care of a lady with ms. She has not been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I have been there for 5 months. She forgets who I am and goes off on me.. I have been accused of having an affair with her husband and cursed out and called names... today she was fine, took a nap and woke up. She yelled at me threatened to call the cops saying I wasn't supposed to be here and yelling she has no clue who I am.. she remembers everyone but me. I was in tears, any advice?

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Don't take this personally. There is cognitive impairment in some cases of MS, and MS can be misdiagnosed and/or coexist with other problems. Whatever type of dementia it is, you are possibly the most recent/least familiar person in her life and/or she is wishing she did not need you and taking it out on you. Document well and make sure the person in charge of the situation knows what is going on. Maybe make her a card with your picture and badge that can be pointed to and remind her - may or may not work...paranoia comes with the territory here.
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vstefans is right. It's definitely cognitive impairment. And dementia can come from a lot of different sources. Take the attitude "something is seriously wrong with this person" and keep a log of exactly what happens. That will help the people who are in a position to address her health issues. Call it to their attention with impartial information. It could be something as easy to fix as a chronic urinary tract infection, or something that can't be fixed but is signalling a need for other changes.
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Bless your heart that has to be hard!!! I would say just from what you have written she needs an evaluation. Always always try to be calm if it gets bad walk away and come back... Re introduce yourself and smile often your tone of voice makes a BIG difference. Perhaps her husband or a child could bring you into the room as someone new... take care and God bless!
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If this is too upsetting for you to understand it may be time to separate yourself from the situation. This is not a failure on your part just the recognition that there just is not good chemistry between the two of you and it is best for her to have another caregiver. Just as in health there are those you don't bond with so is it even more so in sickness. You have done nothing wrong but need to work out what is best for your patient.
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We did bond, she just gets upset when everyone promises to get her out of bed, which is not possible.. I redirect on that subject. But her husband, family and other caregiver gives her false hope and when it don't happen I'm the bad one. I don't promise her that, I change the subject when she brings it up. I just feel the others should stop, and maybe she wouldn't take it out on me... but thank you for all the advice :) so far things are better
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Privatecare 123 - tell yourself that she is not upset with you, but with the situation. That is the truth. In other words, do not take what she says personally. God bless you.
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They do, they treat me like family... even when she's frustrated they always reassure me... they are a great family
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Today went great! She remembered me after two weeks, I went in early so I could be with her with the other caregiver. Transition was smooth. Plus her daughter came cause she was nervous too and everything went great! She even wanted me to stay longer! Glad today was great, was expecting to start from square one.. feeling great!!
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Well done stay positive. Keep nagging her husband to have that door widened.
I think it would make a great difference to her. She wouldn't feel so isolated and maybe feel she is up out of the bedroom
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I agree! We tried raising her bed up without speaking in front of her, she wasn't able to be upright, but getting her bed out is our only option. She couldn't do it and was in pain, so putting her in her wheelchair is not an option.. Thanks for the support and advice! So glad we had a good day :)
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