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I take care of a lady with ms. She has not been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I have been there for 5 months. She forgets who I am and goes off on me.. I have been accused of having an affair with her husband and cursed out and called names... today she was fine, took a nap and woke up. She yelled at me threatened to call the cops saying I wasn't supposed to be here and yelling she has no clue who I am.. she remembers everyone but me. I was in tears, any advice?

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I agree! We tried raising her bed up without speaking in front of her, she wasn't able to be upright, but getting her bed out is our only option. She couldn't do it and was in pain, so putting her in her wheelchair is not an option.. Thanks for the support and advice! So glad we had a good day :)
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Well done stay positive. Keep nagging her husband to have that door widened.
I think it would make a great difference to her. She wouldn't feel so isolated and maybe feel she is up out of the bedroom
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Today went great! She remembered me after two weeks, I went in early so I could be with her with the other caregiver. Transition was smooth. Plus her daughter came cause she was nervous too and everything went great! She even wanted me to stay longer! Glad today was great, was expecting to start from square one.. feeling great!!
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They do, they treat me like family... even when she's frustrated they always reassure me... they are a great family
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Private Care, your client is SO lucky to have such a caring person working for her! It sounds like you're doing a fantastic job. I hope her family understands and appreciates you.
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Well she wants up cause she's sick of laying down, her room is set up like a bedroom. I buy her flowers, even though her sight is bad, I buy her the brightest flowers I can find so she can see the blur of colors. We have two caregivers, myself and another. The other works for an agency, I used too, I actually worked with her daughter's father in law, and she asked if I could help with her mom cause she lives 3 miles from me.... I don't have to wear a uniform, but I wear bright colors so she can see me, and that does make her smile :) she has bells palsy so she can't see much, but she listens to the tv and audio books and we talk about that. Her husband has talked about widening the door to wheel her bed out, which I think would be great! Thanks veronica 91 for your advice! I know she's frustrated, and I know we all need to do things to make it easier for her... I find having her husband come in for a few and reminisce with us helps tremendously
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Why does she want to get out of bed? Does she feel she is shut off from what is going on in the rest of the house? Is she in a hospital bed? Could it be wheeled into another area for a time each day? If she is in a bedroom upstairs could an area be set up for her downstairs? I know it would be a big production to move her and bed etc but it can be done. I have called EMS for this very reason and they have willingly helped out. Don't call 911 call their non emergency number and arrange ahead of time. The family must be told NOT to make promises they can't keep. If you are from an agency report this to your supervisor. This is the sort of situation that an outside professional often encounters working in a private home and it means thinking outside the box. if her room is all nice and sterile and set up like a hospital she is constantly reminded of her illness. It may be convenient for you to have all her equipment nicely set up on a trolley close at hand but put yourself in her position. Wouldn't you rather see a vase of flowers sitting on a nice table. If you are required to wear a uniform make it a pretty set of scrubs and maybe liven it up with an attractive scarf. If I was in her situation I would want to be in the living room next to the fire in winter and in summer by an open window so I could look out and watch the garden grow and the seasons change. You can use a portable screen for times when you are providing personal care.At the very least set up a bird feeder outside her window so she can watch the birds. Keep a bird book handy so you can identify them together. I know that MS is a disease that makes people very miserable and short tempered and you can't change that but do the best you can to make her life and yours interesting. Good luck tomorrow, don't dread it embrace it. Take her a bunch of flowers or a small plant that may just make her day.
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I'm just nervous now cause I have been off for two weeks, one week vacation, this week sick. Don't know what all happened since I've been gone... going back tomorrow.
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Her lift doesn't work in her room cause of carpet and unlevel floors.... but even if it did, she can't sit upright and her legs have been straight since April.. so getting out of bed is not an option.. they just shouldn't pacify her with promises we all know can't be fulfilled
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Privatecare 123 - tell yourself that she is not upset with you, but with the situation. That is the truth. In other words, do not take what she says personally. God bless you.
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Oh no, is it lack of lift equipment that she can't be out of bed? That sure doesn't make thngs any easier on anyone!
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We did bond, she just gets upset when everyone promises to get her out of bed, which is not possible.. I redirect on that subject. But her husband, family and other caregiver gives her false hope and when it don't happen I'm the bad one. I don't promise her that, I change the subject when she brings it up. I just feel the others should stop, and maybe she wouldn't take it out on me... but thank you for all the advice :) so far things are better
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If this is too upsetting for you to understand it may be time to separate yourself from the situation. This is not a failure on your part just the recognition that there just is not good chemistry between the two of you and it is best for her to have another caregiver. Just as in health there are those you don't bond with so is it even more so in sickness. You have done nothing wrong but need to work out what is best for your patient.
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Bless your heart that has to be hard!!! I would say just from what you have written she needs an evaluation. Always always try to be calm if it gets bad walk away and come back... Re introduce yourself and smile often your tone of voice makes a BIG difference. Perhaps her husband or a child could bring you into the room as someone new... take care and God bless!
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I feel for you, this must be horrible to deal with on a daily basis!

God Bless You!
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You might want to try to redirect her attention (start talking about something else), and see how it goes. Sometimes this technique helps. Good luck.
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vstefans is right. It's definitely cognitive impairment. And dementia can come from a lot of different sources. Take the attitude "something is seriously wrong with this person" and keep a log of exactly what happens. That will help the people who are in a position to address her health issues. Call it to their attention with impartial information. It could be something as easy to fix as a chronic urinary tract infection, or something that can't be fixed but is signalling a need for other changes.
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Don't take this personally. There is cognitive impairment in some cases of MS, and MS can be misdiagnosed and/or coexist with other problems. Whatever type of dementia it is, you are possibly the most recent/least familiar person in her life and/or she is wishing she did not need you and taking it out on you. Document well and make sure the person in charge of the situation knows what is going on. Maybe make her a card with your picture and badge that can be pointed to and remind her - may or may not work...paranoia comes with the territory here.
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