My mom has been in a memory care facility for about a month. Everything is going fine - she likes the staff and seems to be satisfied overall. Because of her dementia, she doesn't understand that this is a permanent move. She used to ask to come home every time we visited, and this made visits hard/stressful for her and the visitors. She seems to be settled now and has stopped asking to come home. However, she now seems depressed and says she bored. We have offered all of her favorite activities, but she is not interested. I believe she is tired of being in the same place all day long. We are fearful to take her out for lunch, etc. because of her reaction to being returned to the facility rather than being taken home. Is it a good idea to take her out for a day and risk her reaction when she is returned to the facility? Any ideas are appreciated! Thank you!
Home for a Dementia patient could be their childhood home. And really, there is not much Dementia patients can do. Their brain no longer allows them to retain, so they can't learn something new. My Mom was an avid reader. I used to kid if she ever came to live with me I could just put her in a room piled with books and she would be happy. Well, Dementia took away her ability to read and that was her enjoyment. She sat in front of the TV all day something she never did before. This desease robs them of so much.
Don't mean to be harsh but my wife has advanced dementia and I remember when I could take her out. She is at home but every time I take her out she is okay until she approaches the front door. She has lived her for 50 years and still 'wants to go home'. It is sad, but true, for her. So glad it is working so well so far for you, and it sounds like you appreciate and enjoy the visits you have.
My mother just loved going to the casino! She enjoyed the ride down (45 minutes) and usually napped on the way back to the facility. We even had a few overnights that she enjoyed, she just had her rolling walker and boogie on. The food was delicious, variety instead of bland. Things did get to a point where she couldn't go anymore but she had a good time while she could. I'm going to say that if for any reason she doesn't take it well going back, just don't take her out again. Say, mom we can go out but we've got to come back here,what do you think? Just because they have to be confined doesn't mean you can't set them free once in a while. I still have car conversations with her while I'm driving alone. I don't miss hauling the walker everywhere, here you go mom,just wait here while I park the car. Of course, it's up to you as you know more about her decline than anyone else.
My step-mother who had FTD, was afraid when she was taken out of her safe place, we stopped taking her out to lunch.
DO NOT drive anywhere near where she used to live.
DO not bring her to your home or the home of a relative.
When you bring her back to the facility before you leave either get her busy doing something or if she is tired get her settled in a chair or into bed for a rest.
I had wanted to take him to a family reunion near his house. The memory care facility said no not if for a long period of time. They said for a day trip like to a park or something. His cousin wanted him to come to their wedding. It would be for the whole weekend. I think that's out.
I would like to have a birthday party for him in Sept. Maybe go to a park. That sounds like a good possibility. Some of his family won't bring their kids to a memory care. Seems like none of our family comes to visit him. The rest of his nieces and nephews, cousins and brother lives near KC, MO which is over 4 hours away from our house.