I am thinking of looking for a geriatric care manager. I've read they can be helpful in assessing situations and providing insight for elder care decisions and objective conversations with family members. I currently moved home to help my parents with my mother's health issues and vascular dementia. My father is her primary care but forgetful and not always on top of things like her meds and whether or not she ate lunch. They are in their 80s. I work full time, have just about 12 hour days with a long commute, and have reached a burn out often just trying to keep their house clean and yard in shape although my dad pays a guy to cut the grass. I understand they are elderly, but they basically sit around all day and watch TV. My dad does grocery shopping and my mother still does laundry if he asks her to. She is at the point where she won't shower, etc. I've tried to talk to my dad about this and he says he doesn't want to upset her. He doesn't want to put my mother in a home, and I don't either especially at this point, but I've hit bottom a few times and have told him that that's where she is headed if he doesn't realize it.
My mother has also always been stubborn and has gotten really grumpy, almost nasty in the last month. She's also recently gone on an anti-seizure med and I'm not sure if that's contributing to it. Sadly her "normal" personality is very sweet and caring. She can sometimes still be that way but mostly complains now and I can't always be ok with it. I try not to take it personally but after working all day and sitting in 1 1/2 or rush hour traffic b/c I need to be out where they live, I have no patience. I keep telling myself it could be worse and it will but I need some help so thought about a geriatric care manager to get started. Are they really worth it?