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Is anyone else outraged by the cost of living in a retirement home? I have been searching for a decent place for my parents and am truly in shock by how much money is expected from the elderly. To start the going rate is $5000.00. I have found one place that the rate is $10000.00, to start, omg!!! Someone needs to lobby the government. They are taking advantage of our elderly and the families, this is theft, and extremely unreasonable. Doesn't this make you angry?

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Yes, they're very expensive. On the other hand - there's a lot of people around with several retirement incomes coming in that are willing to pay the high rates, unfortunately.

My friend's parents lived in one. Her Dad had 3. Yes 3! retirement incomes coming in, plus her Mom has SS. They could easily afford it. Compared to us with just one little 'ol SS income.

The market determines the cost and there are many places around like that where we live & they have waiting lists. Lots of rich folks around, I guess.

No one in my family will ever be able to afford one of these places.

There are other alternatives though - 55+ Mobile Homes at low prices with space rent that may be several hundred dollars a month - but they have activities and amenities, Senior Apartments, 55+ Condos. Or just aging in place and using the money they saved by not moving by hiring assistance as needed.

My Grandmother lived in a 2 story house. She aged in place by turning her dining room into her bedroom, and was helped by her family. She wound up renting out her upstairs to a young couple for extra money.

Instead of being discouraged and angry - remember, you can't change this situation. It's easiest to work within the parameters of what is affordable in your own situation. It is what it is, unfortunately.
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lealonnie1 Aug 2021
The new senior apartments here in the suburbs of Denver are starting at $8K a month for a 2 bedroom unit.
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I would think you are talking about Assisted Livings. These are privately own so not sure if the government can do anything about it. They must be getting the 10k or they would lower the price. When I placed Mom they were looking for residents so I got her rent half price. She paid just under 5k a month.

I agree that something needs to be done. It is going to get harder for children to care for parents. I had one girl at 28 the other at 36. When I am 85 my girls will only be in their 50s. Both are single and have to work. There are LOs that are falling thru the cracks. Not poor enough for help and not enough money to afford an AL.
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TouchMatters Aug 2021
It isn't 'just' assisted living.
Ind Living retirement homes are around $4,000-$5,000 move in (in Northern California Retirement home).
Assisted living generally (could) includes meals and nursing assistance and 'add on' services.
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HA, yes, equally outraged. However, there are places outside the major metro areas that have less expensive rates. For instance, I'm near Charlotte, NC, but my mother is living in AL in Statesville, in a place that is at least 1K per month less expensive than Charlotte. Just keep searching, you'll find something closer to your budget. Good luck!
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Yes, it made me angry, but we were able to negotiate with them for a lower price. It’s definitely worth a try,
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Interesting. Yes, my brother and I had sticker shock, but my SIL, who was in charge of my mom's finances quickly realized that it was less expensive than the upkeep of the house.
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The amount of care our loved ones receive at these homes made every penny worth it to me. Had I been paying for 24/7 in-home care that wouldn't have even approached the level my mother received, I'd have paid more than $20,000 a month here in Southern California. As it is, we paid $8900/month, and it was a bargain in my eyes.

This is what preparing for one's retirement should include -- either savings for expenses like this, or long-term care insurance. It's the people who think their money shouldn't be spent on their own care and instead left to their children and grandchildren who tend to be the most outraged.
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TouchMatters Aug 2021
Try saving 28,900 on a clerical job or working as a clerk in a Macy's store, or a Starbucks.

It is worth it to you cause you have the money.
Frankly, I feel you have no idea what you are talking about - giving $ to kids and grandkids. Ah, no. Where are you getting your "facts" from.

Its always easy to talk as you do when you have a plump bank account.
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No way can I even come clise.

We had long term. Are, but at 65 the rate tripled n no longer could afford it.

Then we had a terrific savings game.

But we git caught in a Ponzi scheme at 69 and now live on a SS ck.

Yes i have a house that will take 6 mo. N all will be gone.

I'm 83 ... no family to help.

What am I going to do?
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Beatty Aug 2021
My plan is to to stay home as long as possible. Live cheaply, buy 2nd hand clothes, grow own veggies, live in the one heated room if necessary, take in boarders - like I did in student days.

Work until I can't, home until I can't then make the best of it in a gov funded NH bed.
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Lobby the government? Government involvement always makes everything cost more. Government has no magic wand that makes things less expensive. It can only take from one person to give to another.
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silky123 Aug 2021
It is OK to share. I am certainly willing to help people who cannot help themselves in many ways. I think the government has given us Social Security, Medicare, and many other good things. We need more and we need to be able to see others as ourselves.
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Further, if your money runs out many of the expensive places do not accept Medicaid, so you have to move out!!!
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This is nothing new. Of course we are angry.
Yes. We need advocates in government.
Bottom line: no money - and lots of it - compromised care.
The 'someone' to lobby is YOU - US - people who care.
Align yourself with advocacy organizations or lobbyists working on this.
Post everywhere. Network.

The people that get caught are middle income. They are not poor enough to get government benefits poor/low income people get nor rich enough to afford care.
It is an outrage how we treat our elders in this country.
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Honestly, considering what they do for the residents I don't feel that is outrageous. Someone is there 24/7 to monitor and assist. If you had to pay someone in the home to do this it would cost a lot more. Figure 24 hours a day x $25 an hour that's $600 a day! Times 30 days a month that's $18,000. They get meals, housekeeping, laundry, assistance with bathing and dressing, hair salons, social activities, companionship, etc. Seems like a bargain doesnt it? Dpont forget on-site physical therapy, medical care, transportation to activities and shopping. If you have ever had to get an elderly person with a walker to a doctor's appointment you will appreciate these amenities.

Yes, there are good and bad places and you have do to your homework to find a good fit. And never forget most residences are For-Profit businesses and the goal is to earn money for the investors.
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ZippyZee Aug 2021
Well said.
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There are places that take Medicaid as well as private pay.
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Setting a rate, and then charging it, is not theft.

They're mostly for profit businesses, so expecting them to screw you pricewise is the norm.
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Yes - I agree. It is not sustainable for most.

My Mom worked since she was 17. She wasn’t able to start to invest until she was around 50. And she worked right up till days before her stroke she was 2 weeks shy of 72nd birthday.

She did not live lavishly - she was the penny pincher generation. She believed she saved enough for retirement to live comfortably (as a minimalist) and had she not had a severe stroke she would have been ok. The one thing she didn’t have was Long term health. One massive stroke - every logical and careful decision she made went out the window.

She was 100% proactive in her health - no medications - exercised daily in her pool - just cleared all arteries (a little less than 2 months before) and running her own company fully independent. Things happen that cannot be planned for and when if they do happen there is not many great options for people with a higher level of needs. Scary and also sad - has made me think about the many who have even less than my mom - I often find myself in the hard moments telling mom “even if we feel lost here most days - we actually have so much more than many others”. I try to remind us of our blessing - as it’s not a pretty world out there for those with larger disabilities and it saddens me to no end.

Her money would be gone or close to gone right now if she was placed right away. She was a small business owner - as am I - I think back now and see that has also hindered myself in investing in my future. Ugh.

So yes - I do agree with you. To be healthy and living in active lifestyle and aging and having additional needs is hard to pay - but gosh one large medical health crisis really can throw everything someone worked for out the window. I feel awful knowing how many go through this daily.
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Sadly these type of facilities are out of reach for most Americans, but there is not much the government can do. This is free market capitalism at work. People who can't afford these facilities need to plan and take advantage of what is available to them in the form of community services, and then Medicaid if necessary.
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I agree completely. All elders are not wealthy, some of us were teachers, musicians, artists, bus drivers, etc. We need to get government involved. I am curious to know how these things are handled in other countries such as Canada, England, Holland, Japan.
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MJ1929 Aug 2021
Some countries expect the family to care for the older generations at home. In countries with socialized medicine, the wait to get into a facility is often years long. There's no magic solution, because now you have everyone trying to get into a few beds.

The government here IS involved, and it's called Medicaid. It's our version of socialized medicine, and just like in those other countries, there's a limited number of beds for too many people.

The best thing you can do is work, save, and invest for your retirement, and don't alienate your children.
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I have advanced degrees and was a professor for many years, running the freeways until a contract was available. So much for entry jobs. Its a shame that people who have never had to worry about money can talk about people that way.
Yes, we are our brother's keeper. I worry about my gardener and his wife who cleans houses. They work very hard and are getting old too. Try to really love your neighbors.
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