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My mother ran away twice this weekend. She has a door alarm and the first time I thought it was the companion- she ended up far away outside. The second time I "ran" after her (I am handicapped) and found her in a maintenance closet=she was belligerent and nuts about going home..
Why cant the Dr. get her into a home? ..Why do they, and the NH say that I have to get her to the emergency room first? ...

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Here's the thing. You can put her on waiting lists for local nursing homes, but easiest access to a bed os directly from a hospital, where it's deemed an emergency placement. They also need a complete medical workup before she enters, including a TB test and an assessment of her mental state, all easier to accomplish in the hospital than out of it.

What is your resistance to calling an ambulance? It sounds like your mother is no longer safe at home, even with you and a companion.
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Many ambulance companies will give you a discount on the costs if you are unable to pay the bill in full, if that is one of the issues.
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thank you Baba, I hadnt thought of all those things.
She has been on multiple lists- one for 3yr!
I went through calling the ambulance with my father and him in hospital and I went off the deep end with a breakdown-
I am petrified of this happening again, but it looks like I have got to.
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Mica, why did having dad in hospital cause you to break down? Do you have a better support system in place now, perhaps a doctor who can prescribe antianxiety meds short term? Let us know how this is going. It sounds like the stress of having mom at home would be worse!
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When my ADW falls I can 911 and they her to ER and I do not get billed (Medicare/Medex}

When I or my ADW need to go to the ED/ER and ambulance is needed I call the doctor and get an order for transport by ambulance. I call the ambulance company {not 911} explain Doctor Named has told us an ambulance is needed.

This get us to the top of the patient heap and quick service. We do not get billed (Medicare/Medex} if the transport is ordered by MD. Ambulance service sometimes asks if we need a chair service or ambulance.
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my mother lives alone in an apartment down the hall.
The on call dr Rx'd a stupid anitanxiety antidepressant that did nothing- I had asked for something strong, but it wasnt her regular dr...
I am sorry to aggravate you guys with my fears- going to press her Dr. today since the weekend is over. (even typing here is making my heart pound)
I found my father after breaking his door down, he weighed 78lbs and on deaths door.
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Mica, when you talk to her doctor, make sure you find out if the meds s/he sre prescribing are short acting or taje a while (like 6 weeks) to start to have an eefect. Most doctors, faced with this kind od situation, will prescribe something thst will give relief quickly and something else long term.

And, is YOUR anxiety being treated?
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unbelievable. spoke to the dr's secretary and she said there is nothing the dr can do to get her into a place. what the heck.
So, I just keep her locked in and let in companions?- this is crazy-I thought a dr could declare it an emergency and homes always have one bed reserved for that. I have read others take them to emergency room and just say "I cant take care of her" -- I cant DO that. I thought it would be so easy, i never ever thought she would progress to this. Right now she is eating her breakfast like nothing is wrong :O i give up.
(I took my lexapro but my arthritis is attacking big time with stress)
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Mica, the next time your mom runs away, acts out, etc, you call 911 and have them take her to the ER. The doctor can't "declare it an emergency".

You can take your mom to the doctor and tell him about her escape behaviors. Maybe antipsychotic meds would help? Is this doctor someone who is skilled in treating dementia?

Can you physically take her to an emergency room and tell them that she keeps running away and is a danger to herself?
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update-
I called APS and they sent over a social worker and have 24hr care now. She went NUTS on trasadole . social worker is working on getting her into the nice home I wanted in the meantime.(I hope it works out). I still cannot believe how crazy she went on that drug, and then total zombie. Today she is able to walk and new companion is outside with her now watching the birds.
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I'm not sure why you can't get her placed. My cousin was in a regular Assisted Living facility at first, but when she began to wander, her doctor signed off that she had to go to Secure Memory Care. We got it done in a couple of days and I drove her there.
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