Is 76 too young to put mom in a nursing home? I need help :(

Heavens no, that's not too young. My mother's memory care place has a 47-year-old man there.

As others have said, it's about the condition, not the age. You should look into a memory care facility for your mom (not assisted living), and I think you'll be surprised that she'll do much better there than in your house. The staff at MC is trained on how to handle the anger and the manipulation, while in your house she knows there's a personal connection that makes her behavior hurtful. My mother is doing much better in her MC than she was in her own home and even when she was in a skilled nursing place before MC.

No. It honestly isn't about age, but about condition. You deserve your life and rest now. It is time when you recognize that it is time, and you have done that.

The only thing that determines a change in her care arrangement is whether it is working for the both you. Age is no factor. You are recognizing burnout in yourself which means the caregiving arrangement is no longer working for both of you so, time for a different solution. A good, reputable facility will provide great care and stimulation for her. She is on the young side to have the cognitive decline you are seeing, but it may be early onset ALZ. Before doing anything I would take her in to test for a UTI, which may be driving the new behaviors. If that's not the cause, then you have a green light to research other options for her care. I recently found out a dearly loved cousin of mine was exhibiting dementia-like symptoms and extreme weight loss...all other physical medical issues have been discounted. She is now being assessed for ALZ...at 66. You've done yeoman's work on your mom's behalf all along, so please feel comforted by that fact. Now you need to do what's best for you and your husband.

Dear "areregister1234,"

The short answer is "no." I've seen people in my mom's care facility a lot younger than 76 - it has to do with their health issues. A friend of mine's daughter was diagnosed with Parkinson's at the age of 46 and is in a care facility.

Your mom has a lot of health issues that will only become increasingly more difficult for you to handle on your own even if you do have help from your family.

Please find a reputable place (by doing your due diligence) and place her as soon as you can. Sixteen years is a long time to have her live with you as well as being taken care of by your family. The care facilities, especially if she's put in a memory care unit, are equipped to handle all the behavioral problems that go along with the dementia.

Best wishes to all of you!