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She's 93, on medicare and medicaid, receives $1,000/mo from Soc. Sec., is wheelchair bound, has beginnings of dementia, and otherwise in very good health. I do have home health come M-F for three hours a day. Just need to know what's reasonable. Thank you!

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That's what we get. To offset increase of utilities and groceries. She pays for anything that is specifically and exclusively for her use. We don't think of it as rent, we have the room and she's welcome to it.

The question I have is, how is your mother's aide paid? Do you have any out of pocket expense with that? How about medical and pharmaceutical co-payments and those other things like OTC medicine, incontinence pads, clothing, etc. You could take the entire $1,000/month, but then would she have money for those expenses or would you be paying them? Would your siblings be okay with your taking more money per month or would they see it as an advance on your inheritance? Do they contribute to the care either hands on or financial?
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Mom's aides are paid for by Medicaid. No out of pocket expense for us or mom. Medical and pharmaceutical mostly all paid by medicare D and medicaid. She takes very little medication. Clothing, pads, wipes, etc... paid for from mom's $, though I could get pads for free through Medicaid as well. My siblings do not contribute financially or hands on - they all live far away.
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I agree, do not think your taking the entire $1.000 per month is too much.
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I recommend finding out what the rules are concerning divestment (for Medicaid purposes) in your state. Payments to family members are usually considered to be divestments unless some exception applies. The exception might be that if the payments stay below a certain dollar amount per year, they're allowable; or if you have a caregiver agreement.
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I know a lot of people try to calculate what the equivalent cost would be in a skilled nursing facility (SNF) but I don't think that is always an accurate way to compare. Costs are always overinflated in places like that and hospitals because they have to (a) make money, (b) make payroll and (c etc.) offset other costs i.e. maintenance and replacement of the equipment.

Obviously, if you are the only caregiver, she lives with you, siblings don't mind, nobody is fighting you about it, she's not looking to qualify for Medicaid down the road, and that is all she has coming in, then I'd be thinking it would be ok for you to just take it now as later. You feel that way too, or you wouldn't be asking, right? I shouldn't think anyone would have any objections. You're not going to be millionaires on an extra $500/month. As time goes by, her expenses will mount, and her income will not change much, so I would recommend saving as much of that as I could, though. This journey could take YEARS, and her needs will change.
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I would just suggest a written contract for that $500 so it does not appear to be a gift if Medicaid questions it.
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pamstegman, do you mean a written contract for the whole $1,000 or let the first $500 be the actual rent, and the other $500 other expenses?...... what would you call it?
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What would you call it in the contract... not sure what that would look like. thank you.
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