My 82 year old mom suffers from several illnesses, but the main concern is that she had cancer 5 years ago, chemo/radio/Herceptin ended about 3 years ago, she was being checked for a while but then she decided to stop. Why? Too much. Too many doctors, hospitals -she'd a mastectomy-, medicines, etc, etc..and I get it, I understand. Plus, even if something was wrong she would not do anything about it (no chemo, etc). So, what'd be the point on putting her through more? Now, my concern is, am I being irresponsible by allowing this doctor-free situation? She's not feeling well, has never, but it's getting worst with intense pain in her entire body which could be severe arthritis or lupus fully developing (she was diagnosed with both illnesses at some point in life), or anything! We live overseas, I used to live in the US but moved here to be with her. I mention this so you know it's not the same medical system than in the US, cannot call a social worker, etc.
Am I setting her up for more suffering than necessary (will any of the illnesses be more cruel by not having her being checked) or am I being considerate by following her wishes? I should mention too that she is deeply depressed, has been for a long time. That makes things more difficult, plus she doesn't really listen to my advice, in her mind I'm "the child". She's a difficult personality too, she wants to be in control.
This is killing me. I pray for wisdom. Hope it comes to me!
And I know I need to find a way not to sink with her, I'll try to find some relief for the mind :) thank you!
However, you said her conditions are getting worse and that she's in extreme pain. If she would go to the Dr. he might prescribe pain medication so she's not in so much pain. And if you get her to the Dr. you might ask the Dr. about hospice. Hospice is patient-centered, in the home, with no medical tests, no Dr. visits, no ER visits, and no medications (with the exception of pain and anxiety control).
Your mom doesn't have to be in pain. She can live out her life the way she wants to with no more Dr.'s and still stay at home and be free from pain.
Does your mom realize the can see a medical professional and refuse treatment? That is her right.
Get yourself some relief for your depression. And find things to do other than focus on mom's decline. It's her choice. It doesn't have to be yours!
Does your mom realize the can see a medical professional and refuse treatment? That is her right.
Get yourself some relief for your depression. And find things to do other than focus on mom's decline. It's her choice. It doesn't have to be yours!