How do you introduce and keep an aide, without major push-back from wife who has Alzheimer's?

Can you introduce her as " the laundress", or the "cleaning lady", or some other specific job that your wife would be happy to have someone else do?

We told my father she was a friend who came to visit...

I remember one poster here who told her parent that the aide was a friend of a frien who needed work to support her children. Do you think a ruse like that might help, GC?

Is your wife very agitated by change in general? Is she on any meds to help with that?

Is the concept of "retirement" something your wife understands? When my husband objected to having a handyman come in for home maintenance tasks I always told him I was so grateful that he did those things himself for so many years, and did them very well, too. But now that he was retired he deserved to take it easy and let someone else do it.

When my mother, in a nursing home, would start fussing about checking the fridge and figuring out what to make for dinner, I would tell her, "Great news, Ma! You are retired now, and someone else figures out what to serve for dinner, cooks it, and does all the dishes afterward! You've earned your retirement. Enjoy it!"

"You are retired" seems much more acceptable than "You are incapable."

My aunt had absolutely no short term memory. Her daughter arranged for 3 shifts of women to stay with her. And at each changing of the shifts Auntie though the woman was just there for a visit. "Oh Mary! How nice of you to drop in. I just made some coffee and let's see if I have any cookies. Come and talk in the living room." If your wife's memory loss allows you to present the worker as a visitor, that might help. (It certainly wouldn't work in every situation.)

I just hired an Aide for my grand father with Mild Dementia, and I love all the answers above me. All of them are brilliant. Just figure out which one will work best for your Mom's personality.

For my grandfather, I just told him that the hospital wanted to send a Nurse to check his blood pressure for a few days. But before her 4th visit, he said he didnt wan't her to come by that day (he wasnt quite used to the idea of someone coming in his home so much), so I told him that she just wanted to visit him to say "hello" for a few minutes because she liked him so much. It worked.