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My husband and I both work state jobs and my mom has lived with us for 6 years. All was well until she had a stroke 6 mo ago and now needs 24/7 care. She does qualify for Hospice but even they don't do 24/7. We are currently paying private care from 7am to 3 pm and it's expensive. My husband and I do the nights and weekends and we need some time away and together but can't afford it. Does Medicare or Tri-care (my mom is 89 and retired VA nurse) pay for any caregiving service?

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Very few insurance policies now cover all of long-term care's costs. But with VA retiree benefits, she is probably eligible for at least some in-home care coverage, at least enough to cover the time you need for respite and time off. I recall the VA had several different long term care options for staff over the years, and if mom was one of the lucky ones that had prior benefit packages "grandfathered" over, she may actually have access to some really nifty benefits that current VA employees do not have. At one point, the benefits package was really outstanding. Check with the VA employment/personnel/human resources department to see what, if anything, she is eligible for.
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You would need to check with Medicare and Tri-Care to see if your Mom qualifies. If she is a retired nurse, her retirement income plus social security might not qualify her. How is your Mom using her retirement funds? Could she help pay for some of her own care?
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