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I live on only SSA benefits and cannot afford to live in senior independent rentals, let alone pay the #$d.mned tips! Thank God I have my own condo until further notice.
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People are here arguing over a scenario the OPs mother in law and other residents MADE UP folks. None of this is based in reality or coming from the ALF, it should be noted.

"I have to apologize to everyone here. I should have known not to take the word of my mother-in-law, who is getting confused. This whole thing is something created by the community, not the facility. And no one is recommending 10-15%. Jeez. I’m sorry.

Moderator: you can delete this thread if you like."


Tipping in managed care is OPTIONAL. As it is elsewhere. It's the societal norm most people follow, however, when dealing with a SERVICE RELATED INDUSTRY and caregivers who do an awful lot for our loved ones during the year.
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Patathome01 Oct 2022
Don't worry. We make mistakes, so that's how we learn.
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I have never heard of such a thing. !! Sounds fishy to me
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slosparky: It appears that your mother in law was confused as you had stated elsewhere. Thank you, lealonnie.
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They are doing a job and are being compensated on an agreed amount.
I am sure they are being paid at minimum wage or above. It is not like they
are dependent on tips, if they are looking for tips, I suggest that they head to
the local steak house and apply for a job as waiter.
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lealonnie1 Oct 2022
The OP has stated the whole thing was a mistake her MIL made and not what the ALF is asking for at all.

However, have you ever worked caring for elders in managed care? Suggesting the CGs 'head to the local steak house & apply for a job as a waiter' indicates you have not cleaned up blow outs or changed incontinence briefs multiple times a day or wiped behinds covered in feces. And kept a smile on your face while doing so. Or answered the same question literally 150x in 15 minutes. Carrying a tray of food to a happy customer or bringing them a 2nd martini does not in any way compare to wiping behinds and caring for your loved one all day long who's suffering from dementia or old age related disease. It's very valid to give them all a tip at the end of the year b/c no matter how much they're paid (or UNDERPAID), it's still not enough to thank them for all they do. I could never put into words or write a check big enough for the loving care and respect they treated my parents with, and how they allowed them both dignity right up to when they took their last breath. You are comparing apples to oranges with your statement about waiters and caregivers.

Caregiving to the elderly is one of THE hardest jobs a person can possibly take on, which is why there is such a high turnover in the industry. There aren't many human beings with enough character, patience, and fortitude to accept SUCH low wages for doing SO much every day for so many people.
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