Incontinence- ideas for tight fitting undies maybe?

With my DH he wears 2 diapers at night and has a large washable bed pad. During the day he's on a schedule...every 2 hours. Recently changed to every hour after 4 pm after a couple of accidents. This is for my sanity...doesn't seem to bother him so he balks but does eventually go.

You might consider trying Kleinert's briefs:

https://kleinerts.com/products/unisex-duralite-incontinence-briefs?variant=15019123671085

My sister, who is about the same size as your mom, uses these. They're expensive, but worth the cost if your mom has something against disposable briefs.

My mother found highly effective disposable undies for my father via this catalog—
Gold Violin Independent Living Catalog.

I use Depends for my mom- both the pull up and tab kind. If we go out for a doctor's appointment, a Poise pad is added (home aide's suggestion). No issues. Hopefully you have transitioned your mom from underwear to adult diapers.

I keep air fresheners going in all rooms. Although we don't have the leakage problem, her room can definitely take on a smell. I use scented trash bags and tie all waste up immediately. It is a continual battle.

For your sake, consider help. There are some great suggestions on here.

Best wishes to you.

I was recently informed that our local hospitals don't use depends anymore. They use a device that sucks up the urine and keeps patients dry all the time. I realize they are talking about bed ridden patients but I was told this device is available to me if my mom's doctor will prescribe it and they were aware she was mobile at home.

Maybe you can find some info whether it would be suitable for you. Sorry I dont have any particulars about this device as my mom had a stroke while she was admitted to the hospital and only came home for a week of hospice care to be with family when she passed.

She had her 95th birthday while she was at a rehab facility. The stroke left her very much disabled and she just didnt have the strength or desire to keep fighting. I miss her a lot.

Charlotte

why aren't you using pull up diapers? If she can still walk, use pull up diapers. If she is bedridden use diapers with tape (not pull-ups).

I'm surprised she is still alive being that corpulent. One fall with injury, chances are she will be bedridden for life.

I had to use about 6 diapers a day for my mom.

You can buy reusable bed pads--but the extra large ones. Go on Amazon. Wash them over and over again.

As for disposable pads, you need very large ones. Go to the pet store and get pads for dogs. They are large and much, much cheaper than the ones for humans--same materials too.

Hopefully she is wearing Adult Diapers.
She may need a pad in the Adult Diapers.

Mare sure she is wearing them.

Also make sure she is actually taking a shower every day.

Mare sure her pee Diapers are put in a plastic bag before being thrown away.

Use deodorizers that Remove the smell not cover it up.

I use Odor Eliminater

I’ve been giving cranberry supplements to my mom for a couple years now-after years of uti’s, they’re not an issue anymore. Even tho she still doesn’t drink enough water, it’s managed to keep them away.
It’s heartbreaking to hear how this is affecting you-looking into AL now is a great suggestion as, most likely, you’ll need to act on moving her at some point. So many have waitlists too-putting her on lists doesn’t commit you but you may be ready when a room becomes available. The resentment that’s building can only go on so long-it’s not good for either of you.
Best wishes as you find your way.

I addition to switching to pull ups it might help if she makes regular bathroom breaks part of her routine even if she doesn't feel the need, much of the problem with over flow is that no product can rapidly absorb a large volume reliably.

Think about this.

How long do you think it will be before you are so exhausted, so desperate, so physically and emotionally depleted, that you realize that finding her the best residential care you can locate, and visiting her as often as you want to, maybe even for a brief stop-by visit every day, is really better for you BOTH than what you’re doing now?


If you “wanna cry” now, consider how you’ll feel after years of this, and worse.

Good caregiving requires balance, and right now, the balance is disrupted by something neither of you can control or manage. Her weight alone is unmanageable for a caregiver to attempt to take on, much less her loss of bladder control.

If you won’t consider placement now, at least begin your research about the placements available near you. Then you’ll have a sense of confidence when/if her care needs exceed your ability to continue.

Please continue to consider “balance”. What do YOU need to continue caring for her in a way that’s loving and safe for BOTH of you?

Why don't you think that AL (or MC) might be a good solution for the both of you? She most likely isn't in denial or embarrassed -- she most likely has dementia. If you think it's stressful and exhausting now, the caregiving just gets more and more intense and draining. Have you taken her in to her doctor for a cognitive exam so that you are working with facts and not assumptions? Have considered what it may be like to try to transfer a 245 pound person from a chair to a toilet at some future date? And eventually she will become bowel incontinent as well. Please read some of the posts on this forum from desperately exhausted, loving and well-meaning adult children who wish they had the option to put their LO in a care facility. I'm not trying to grind on you while you're down -- but you must go into this with your eyes wide open and seeing the reality that WILL be your future with her. My MIL gets excellent care in a LTC facility on Medicaid. She even has a private room, and has the same care as the private pay residents. We go visit her whenever we wish, and we sleep peacefully at night not because we're exhausted and burnt out from orbiting around her, but because we know she is safe, clean, fed and socialized. I wish you much wisdom, clarity and peace in your heart as you find the right solution.