My wife is worried about her incontinence. Any suggestions?

Does the incontinence only happen at night?

I think the first step is to keep trying incontinent briefs until you find one that is comfortable for her. Try every brand and different styles and sizes. Obviously these garments may not be perfect, but wetting the bed is far from perfect, too!

Then, get a waterproof mattress cover. In fact, get two, so when one is in the wash, you'll have a fresh one to put on. The best way to treat a mattress is to keep it clean. Mattress covers do that. Covers go into the washing machine and therefore can much more easily and thoroughly be cleaned than a mattress. 

Have you consulted with a doctor about the incontinence? A specialist? There are things that can be done for certain kinds of incontinence. It is certainly worth pursuing a medical solution.

The key word is use throwaway briefs (or pull-ups), not diapers. They're very "normal" like underwear.

My husband is also incontinent (both ways). When he began to have accidents in public, I had to gently and kindly put my foot down, and start insisting he wear adult diapers. I also have more than a few female friends "of a certain age", who probably due to the push (pun intended) for all natural childbirth and obstetricians who regularly used forceps for delivering babies, have weak muscle control which causes leaks when sneezing,laughing,coughing, etc. Unfortunately, it's just another "perk" of aging. I suspect your wife dislikes the smell of vinegar because it reminds her of what she considers an embarrassing fault of hers. You may also be using too much in your mix. I would also caution you that if you're using this on wood or vinyl floors, the acidic content of vinegar can damage the floor. And once vinegar, urine or other liquids are absorbed into a mattress, there is no way to clean or deodorize it. If your wife has a sister, a close female friend or a daughter, perhaps you could speak with her and ask if she could respectfully encourage your wife to wear protection. It's nothing to be ashamed of. No one except for you two will know she is wearing anything. Good luck to you both!

Ooohh, I hate the smell of vinegar in cleaning too.
My daughter used a product for her incontinent dog that is MADE for dissolving the "smell" agents in urine. She'd make up a spray bottle and mix it kind of stronger than called for. Used it on carpets and floors when the dog "missed" the pad (which is always) Also she used it for potty training kids who have accidents. Spray it on pretty well, let it sit for a few minutes and blot it until it's almost dry. There's an enzyme in this that really kills the smell.
Honestly? The bed should just be replaced, if possible. And read some posts about the layering of pads in the bed making process so when there are the inevitable accidents, the clean up is quick and no smell remains.

Mother wears a very thin undergarment that absorbs amazing amounts of liquid. You cannot see it under her clothes. At bedtime she puts an extra pad in with the undergarment. Just be sure the wet pads, underpants, etc., go straight out to the trash. Just like a baby diaper, they will smell bad very quickly.
Open windows and get fresh air in as much as possible. Trying to "cover" bad smells just adds to the funk.
No doubt your wife has friends who have this same issue. It's so common.
As far as your floors---have a professional come in. Maybe they can refinish the floors or give you a sealant for them. I have wood floors throughout my upstairs and nothing can get through them. It's the carpet that's a smell-holder. Have that cleaned with the pet enzyme solution. Vinegar will discolor after repeated uses--as you've found.
Good Luck!!

I have allergies, so I have a mattress cover for that. It encases the bed and doesn't let dust mites in. If you can't get any other kind of mattress cover, you could use that. (You can order them online.)
Try getting somebody to take your mattress out into the sun for a day or two to get rid of the smell. You might consider spraying it with pine-sol before you do.

And if you can't do anything else, use pine-sol instead of vinegar.
Here are some other tips. I googled "eliminate urine smell from elderly" to find it. There were lots of other hits.
http://www.ehow.com/how_7433349_rid-smell-elderly-person_s-clothing.html

Why is it you're not paying more attention to your own needs? Is mopping up urine really the best use of your energy and best way to show your devotion? Get those pull-ups asap. You are the one in the manager role, so consider your own needs too.

I'll share a funny story to make you feel better and it's 100% true. When I was about 62 (I just turned 70 in January), I started having some running to the bathroom anywhere-out and about, at a restaurant, problems, etc. My late mother who was still alive at the time said to me "why don't you get some feminine pads for yourself?" I did and have been using them ever since! My elderly mother was smarter than I was! She had been through with some mighty embarrassing accidents. Let me tell you it's far better to have that security than to have someone wonder what that wet spot is dripping down your leg.

And after having a super embarrassing accident at the ER after they gave me a medication, I lost bowel function so I bought myself the next product up from a feminine pads an adult diaper. Good to have on hand and nothing to shy away from! She'll see that she'll gravitate towards them!

The med that you can get that scanner2971 mentioned is called Vesacare.

Also, I have found that I hate Lysol. I use cans of room scents sold at Bath & Body Works or Yankee Candle, Home Goods. Very effective odor elimination!