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This may have been answered before but I didn’t pay attention because I never dreamed it would apply to us. My very elderly father has been in a nursing home for almost 4 months. Last week out of the blue he asked the nurse to touch her boobs. I was shocked but not as today when he exposed himself in the dining room. This is absolutely not my father who would never ever talk about sex let alone do anything! Now what? I asked for a psychologist to assist but no help since my request. An advise would be appreciated.

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The good news is that they have seen and heard all of this before and will know best how to deal with it. My father hasn't done that but he's been very, very mean and I was mortified. A kind worker told me that they are used to all sorts of things and that it was okay, and they just view it as a symptom that needs to be addressed and don't take a lot of stuff personally that you or I would. I try to take that to heart.
As for you, just be really, really nice and kind and thankful to the staff. They are fine with difficult residents, but appreciative families make it all easier!
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I agree, they have seen and heard it all.
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This isn't unheard of. Often staff redirect the senior to say that sexual expression only take place in private, not with staff, and fully consensual.
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Every professional caregiver that I have spoken to about this issue all say the same thing, "Why do you think they're called dirty old men?!?"

If the facility isn't concerned about his behavior, I would let that dog lay. They will do something when they see it as a problem, I guarantee you.
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Don't worry about it unless the Nursing Home is upset, but I imagine this is not the first time nor the last time that this has happened in the home. My dad, over 100 years old, was found having consensual sex with another Assisted Living resident last week. They called to tell me but said they only did it to keep me informed, not that I needed to do anything about it. I just had to laugh.
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Hello:
Sometimes, it seems as though a person reverses back in time in thought. Perhaps at those moments he was thinking as a young man and you know how young men's thinking can be.
See how the nursing home responds, like the other answers, they are used to
the different behaviors of residents.
I was bathing my mother once, she said "my mother said you are not to bathe me". Okay... She was not my mother at that point in time but was a young girl.
We finished and she was back to being my mother.
One of the many behaviors we caregivers see or are told about.
If this happens more, talk to his doctor or the nurse about how to handle this. It may come up at his care conference or you could bring it up.
I would not bring it up to him, however.
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I have had male patients in hospitals do the same and usually they have brain injuries - so this is nothing new. Usually it is a symptom of damage to the "impulse control" part of the brain. Staff will usually redirect his conversation and behavior when this happens. He may be better treated by a neurologist than a psychiatrist or psychologist since this is brain damage and not attention-seeking behavior.
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Lack of sexual inhibition which is very much a social behaviour we all develop as we grow up, is very common in dementia patients at some point. The loss of learnt behaviours especially those that go against natural instincts is a stage patients go through. Speak to the NH staff and take their advice on how to handle this - they will have seen it many many times. I am sure the nurse will be used to male dementia patients wanting to grope her at some time, and maybe he needs to have his meals in his room for a while, but don't be shocked or embarrassed, just keep up good communication with the NH director and be guided by them.
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This is common and it isn't your father.
It is the dementia / changes in his brain.

How to proceed:
* Ask to speak to the nursing home administrator.
* Ask how they handle these situations.

Be assured, this is normal behavior for some people afflicted with dementia. You are not alone, nor is your dad. The nursing home will have procedures in place - to discuss with you.

Gena
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