Impatience with impatient mom with dementia. Any ideas on how to deal?

I too am feeling this. I had been in therapy for many years dealing with my relationship with a narcissistic mother who now has dementia, and just fell and broke her hip. In the past two years, my siblings and I sold and cleaned out the house she lived in for 40 years, and set her up in a beautiful apartment within an assisted living community. She is currently in the hospital from the hip surgery and will be transferred to rehab. We have no idea if she will be returning to her apartment...which would mean cleaning that out, dealing with her furniture and possessions...I am rambling. The point is, I have times where I am just so angry because all my life she has told us that "I never want to do to you what my parents did to me. I had to do everything for them." And here we are. I find it so hard to be compassionate! When I am actually with her, I feel like I am seven years old trying to make Mamma happy. Ugh. Back to therapy?

Back in my room feeling the same way too. My mom has not been diagnosed with dementia but I am sure it's going on. 24/7 I work from home so I am here all the time I have made my bedroom/office my escape room. Its my time out
room. lol. We can only do so much, I had to smile about the dog deal, my mom feeds my dog everything she eats.......DRIVES ME CRAZY, I cant get mad at the dog, but he will vomit and it is so frustrating. I am a professional butt wiper vomit picker upper. Find you a safe place and you will be fine. I have been called a bitch at 5:00 am. lol, I just tell her the apple did not fall far from the tree. Peace be with you

Barb Welcome to my world! And everyone on this site.. It doesn't get any better. You have to learn to ignore most everything, obviously if she is hurting the dog that's different.

Try to get as much free time away from her as possible.

This is an evil disease and she isn't doing it on purpose.

That being said I had an argument with my Mom yesterday and I knew the fall out was coming.. Right now she's in bed whining "why am I still alive, why doesn't God take me, I'm of no use to anyone"! I said so you can spend more time with me". Her answer was' "ya right"! I walk away and now she just feeling sorry for herself. I do the best I can, but I'm tired of being dragged don't with her.. Let's hope she bounces back at breakfast time. She will! Pill time has become very important to her!! Lol

You are not an awful daughter! It's frustrating dealing with the same behaviors over and over. I ask my mother not to stand with the refriderator door open, eating things right from their containers. I ask her not to throw food on the floor to the dogs, because it causes them to fight. On and on. I act patiently towards her, but inside I want to scream. You are not alone! My mom wasn't a great mom either, but when it's all said and done, I can hold my head up because I know I am doing my best and I did the right thing, regardless of how she was. I'm going to be the bigger person here. It's hard, but I want no regrets when I reach that point when I've done all I can and she needs to move to nursing. Hang in there Barb. We are stronger than we know!

Whoaaaaaa! You're not an awful daughter, you're trying to keep your mom safe. Think about what other things she she can't remember not to do. Does she open the d oor for strangers? How vulnerable is she making herself and you and your family? Is there a possibility of assisted living? If the dog bites her, it's the dog and you who are going to bear the consequences just as if it was a baby the dog bit.