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How are they managing their medications?
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Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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I wish I could tell you though everyone's journey is different. My partner was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 4 years ago and I am the only support. I have watched the memory go, the balance decline, weight drop off, etc. In addition to the physical changes, the emotional outbursts of yelling and saying hateful things is very hurtful. I have learned to walk away a lot of the times and nothing I do or say helps.
The one thing that I have found helpful is a support group. Virtual is usually easier, especially as your wife's health declines. You may have to check out a few of them to see which one(s) you find more beneficial as there are some that I have found to be not worth the time.
Please know, you are not alone in this journey. Take things one day at a time,
Learn everything you can about the disease and how it affects the mind and body. Unfortunately, you lose a little of them everyday. They seem to remember things from a long time ago-long term memories-not much on short term as the disease progresses. Research trails at Universities near you and homeopathic medications. Be aware of side effects of any medications. A UTI can make them worse. Be alright with telling little fibs to save the peace and don’t argue with them. They have no control over their situation. It will only get increasingly difficult as time goes on. Sometimes taking them to adult day cares can be a way for you to have some time for yourself. Check their policies and go with them to begin with. You can apply for respite hours at the Alzheimer’s Association to use so that you can get away. Sometimes the facilities will keep them for a 7 day period once. It is limited. I would recommend an in-care facility. You could go everyday if you wanted, or not. If your loved one still has lucid moments, try and talk to them. It’s not easy. Soon they will need care with everything from toileting, bathing, and eating. In other words, you will have to help them with everything-even throughout the night. You will not get rest unless you hire someone to take the night shift. Best of luck.
All good recommendations. My husband has gradually declined since 2018. He understands nothing, can walk, eat and go to the bathroom all with help. His is stroke related. He lost his eyesight (tunnel vision only) and has had 95% hearing loss for years. I’m thankful as things could be worse but it is extremely hard to be a full time caregiver for someone who is helpless and comprehends nothing. I cannot imagine being able to do this without The Lord paving the way and giving me strength to carry on. Without Him and my weekly support group, I could not do it.🙏
My husband doesn't usually yell, unless he's very frustrated. Everyone is different. It's been hard for me to realize that he can't process as he used to so explanations have to be done one step at a time and slowly. I now do everything in the house and took over the finances 3 years ago, plus keep track of where he's dropped things. When we go out, I check he has everything - phone, wallet, sweater, jacket, etc. - that he came with. You learn to think for the other person as well as yourself. Think of it as have a capable kid who needs guidance. Down the line, make sure you manage some time for yourself. You still need to socialize and do your "thing". Get family or friends' support or hire someone one morning a week.
Previous advice, posted below, is great. Join a support group. If you don't like one find another. Very important too; eat well, exercise, breath, get a good amount of sleep and schedule time for yourself. Even if you feel in great shape now, start putting into place a cadre of soon to be tapped help. At least research resources. Watch Teepa Snow youtube videos. You are a hero. Best of luck.
I see several responses here about virtual support groups. I am unable to attend in person; there are none available in my area. The virtual groups I have contacted through agencies have a long waiting list. Does anyone have any other resources that I am missing?
I’ve been attending Dr. Cate’s virtual support group for several months. She has sessions M & W 10-11 AM and just added an evening group at 6:30-7:30 Thursday. I may be able to join tonight and hope you can too. This is an incredibly tough journey and you NEED support. Here’s a link: https://catemccarty.com/calendar/
I faced the same situation starting in 2018 and continuing. The Alzheimers San Diego ALZSD (not to be confused with national Alzheimers) has an extensive free video library of topics directly related to what to expect as time passes and how to deal with various situations that occur. ALZSD also has occasional OnLine Zoom classes and offers some direct phone support. I highly recommend this source of information and help.
I think that what you can expect, to put it truthfully, is the UNexpected. And you can expect that no matter how many others you hear from your own story will be different, unique to you both, and will progress with as much individuality as your own fingerprints.
I would study Teepa Snow's videos and learn all you can. I think you need to expect and accept that there will come a time when one on one care is too difficult to sustain. A time when you either NEED To be there, or are shadowed every moment you wish a little privacy. You can expect that this will progress at its own pace one slow day at a time, and that's how you will have to make decisions for yourself and for your wife.
I wish you the very best. There are groups of spouses of Alzheimer's on Facebook. You will be able to trade stories and ask opinions and get good feedback. If you have a specific question perhaps someone here could answer. But do know "What to Expect" is a longer tome than War and Peace.
I agree, for example, my husband never forgot anyone, but he was convinced that I was stealing his money. I guess I was, because when He told me to take $16,000. out of his account to give to a truckdriver to pay for something he ordered. He told me he had to pay the truckdriver in cash, I invoked my POA and took control of his finances. He either would not or could not tell me what he ordered. When I tried to explain that wasn't the way business was conducted he just got mad. No truckdriver ever came by.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
The one thing that I have found helpful is a support group. Virtual is usually easier, especially as your wife's health declines. You may have to check out a few of them to see which one(s) you find more beneficial as there are some that I have found to be not worth the time.
Please know, you are not alone in this journey. Take things one day at a time,
"Alzheimers support groups near me"+(your zip code or town name)
Or, contact your local Area Agency on Aging.
This is a global anonymous forum of mostly unpaid family caregivers. Here you can also find support, information and education.
I now do everything in the house and took over the finances 3 years ago, plus keep track of where he's dropped things. When we go out, I check he has everything - phone, wallet, sweater, jacket, etc. - that he came with. You learn to think for the other person as well as yourself. Think of it as have a capable kid who needs guidance.
Down the line, make sure you manage some time for yourself. You still need to socialize and do your "thing". Get family or friends' support or hire someone one morning a week.
Join a support group. If you don't like one find another.
Very important too; eat well, exercise, breath, get a good amount of sleep and schedule time for yourself.
Even if you feel in great shape now, start putting into place a cadre of soon to be tapped help. At least research resources.
Watch Teepa Snow youtube videos.
You are a hero.
Best of luck.
I see several responses here about virtual support groups. I am unable to attend in person; there are none available in my area. The virtual groups I have contacted through agencies have a long waiting list. Does anyone have any other resources that I am missing?
I would study Teepa Snow's videos and learn all you can. I think you need to expect and accept that there will come a time when one on one care is too difficult to sustain. A time when you either NEED To be there, or are shadowed every moment you wish a little privacy. You can expect that this will progress at its own pace one slow day at a time, and that's how you will have to make decisions for yourself and for your wife.
I wish you the very best. There are groups of spouses of Alzheimer's on Facebook. You will be able to trade stories and ask opinions and get good feedback. If you have a specific question perhaps someone here could answer. But do know "What to Expect" is a longer tome than War and Peace.