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Hi all, my mother has terminal cancer and is languishing in a miserable sub-acute rehab center (where she is barely receiving any rehab). She is so unhappy and I would love nothing more than to get her out of there and into a caring hospice environment, but we live in a small, one-bedroom apartment on the 3rd floor, I have to work full-time, we can't afford aides or skilled nursing, and there are no other family members except for myself - I just realistically cannot do at-home hospice.


Also, her death is not "imminent" and she is not actively dying; she could live for another 3-4 months.


Does anyone know of any institutional hospices in Maryland - hell, or on the East Coast - where my mother could stay? Our funds are extremely limited, I am trying to get my Mom on Medicaid, and the nursing home waiting lists look like a lost cause.


I talked to one large, nonprofit hospice in the Baltimore area and they only allow institutional hospice if patients are in extreme pain or if they are providing respite care, plus their daily rate is quite high and they have a waiting list. Another hospice wants $12,000 in cash - upfront - for a 1-month stay.


Any suggestions would be appreciated. This is awful. I just want my Mom to have some peace and I can't do it on my own.

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I would find out if there are any board and care homes that offer hospice accommodations.

It is something she might be able to afford or there might be short term assistance to help cover the expense for a few months.

I am curious, is the lack of PT the only issue you have with the current facility? From what you have described of her current physical state, she won't be able to participate in a lot of therapy. Maybe, she can get hospice where she is at?
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Have you called your county AREA AGENCY ON AGING?
I see several in the Maryland area. Call them and ask for a case worker. Ask that person to help you call around to find your mom a space.
My husband lost a good friend to the same diagnosis a couple of years ago. He had the surgery. It did not go well.
I am sorry.
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EndOfMyRope88 Jan 2022
There are many hospices that provide at-home hospice services, but few institutional hospices. The institutional ones are for short-term stays and are very expensive.
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I've been wondering how you are doing, I'm sorry I can't give you any specific advice.
From my time on the forum I do know that there should be ways to get your mother qualified for a nursing home paid for by medicaid - I hope those more knowledgeable than I am will be able to help you.
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EndOfMyRope88 Jan 2022
Thanks cwillie. I hope we can get her into a decent nursing home with hospice services - that would be a dream come true. This has been an unending nightmare and unmitigated disaster for the past 2 weeks. I was only my mother's medical power of attorney, not her guardian, so I couldn't stop her from having the surgery. I still feel horrible guilt for recommending the institution where she got the surgery, as well as horrible guilt for suggesting that she schedule it earlier, rather than in mid-February, to get the tumor before it was uncontrollable. If she was going to get the surgery, I felt like she should do it as early as possible before symptoms got worse. I still feel like this is my fault.

I just want my mom to be at peace; she is so sad and so hopeless. Her upper body muscles have atrophied so poorly and she can barely move her head; her vision is so blurred that she has to close her eyes. Seeing her suffer is destroying me. This whole experience has given me - and her - PTSD. She deserves peace.
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