Follow
Share

I'm DPOA for my mom with dementia (age 87) and until 2 weeks ago, for my dad (age 88). I'm also executor of the estate. Two weeks ago my dad passed. Three of my sisters took my mom and got an emergency temporary guardianship. Now they have removed her from her home, started stripping the home and her assets, and the rest of us haven't been able to talk to her or see her. We go to court on October 4th, but I'm very worried about mom and her home, assets etc. I need to find out if the general guardianship overrides my DPOA.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
KaFord, so I guess you have been to court by now? Do you care to share what happened? No worries if not. It's a very interesting situation that we may all learn from.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

OK, I'm going thru this right now. Mom/step-father live in my home State AZ (community property) while my oldest Step-sibling lives in MI (common property), VERY IMPORTANT TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE!! I AM COURT APPOINTED GUARDIAN/CONSERVATOR FOR MY MOTHER. IN THE STATE OF AZ, ANYTHING "ATTACHED" TO MY MOTHER GIVES ME AUTHORITY TO CONTROL, THIS INCLUDES MY STEP-FATHER!
My step-siblings had access to the statements for Mom's investments/property which are all prior to the marriage (2nd or both). My step-sister has stolen $50.000+ and she made sure she did it with a DPOA which is now null/void after my appointment which the Judge told her attorney. This step-sibling(s) is still pushing the use of her DPOA and her attorney is helping.
I hired an attorney after I represented myself in Court (not that hard to do) and waited to get the attorney until after my appointment. Step-sibling is "claiming" that I have not done what I agreed to do for her in Court, but I asked the Judge specifically if I could just provide a spreadsheet for all the bills that were ever so delinquent it took me well over a month to bring up to date. She is not accepting this, so now I am providing a novella for she and her attorney containing every little thing I have done the past 6 months! After I get done, no one should ever question what I am doing. The Guardian Ad Litem doesn't even want to be involved because I am such a detailed person and former bank officer. I know what I can go to prison for so I know what to do to stay out of that system. By the time I get done, I'm so hoping that my step-siblings will be afraid that I will file charges against all 4 of them. EVEN if they should take their Father away from my Mother, I can have them charged with kidnapping! They do not want to follow the Community Property laws of AZ because they will not benefit AT ALL BECAUSE DADDY DOES NOT BECOME AUTO BENEFICIARY OF MOM'S PROPERTY. THEY'RE GOING TO BE REALLY PISSED BECAUSE I HAD THE VEHICLE TITLES RE-TITLED AND DADDY DOESN'T APPEAR ON THE TITLE ANY LONGER. I HAD EVERY LEGAL RIGHT TO DO SO PER THE STATE LEGAL DEPT FOR THE DMV.
You can't be nice and I've tried. You're going to have to get down and dirty my friend. My mind doesn't go the way theirs do, but I am not going to be nice any more. GO FOR THE GUT!!!!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Somehow I don't like the fact that time is passing. You probably need a lawyer right away or go to the police and say they took her without consent or something.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

If the court decides that the emergency temporary guardianship should be made permanent, and further if the court agrees that one or more of your sisters would be your mother's best guardian, then yes that will most certainly override your DPOA.

But the court will not do this without hearing your arguments, and they will not make that decision without good reason.

What leaps out at me is your father's making you his chief beneficiary. Are you his sole beneficiary? And when did he make this will?

The trouble with shouldering almost complete responsibility for your parents' wellbeing is that, if outsiders were to take a jaundiced view of the matter, it can just as easily look like you took complete control of your parents' decisions. You see where this train of thought is heading, yes?

I echo LoneStarGuy's thoughts, questions, suggestions and good wishes. Please let us know how it's going.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Sounds like you need a lawyer. By taking control of your mother after your father's death they are attempting to circumvent your executor duties by cleaning her assets out now instead of leaving things in your hands. Were they aware of the fact that you were going to hire day help for mom before they filed? Paying for that takes money away from their inheritance. Funny how important what they will get later plays such an important role in siblings decisions instead of what can be done to help the parent now. Believe me, it can get ugly fast. You've been caring for both parents with no help but now that dad's gone they pull this. Get a lawyer asap, do a wellness check on her, they can't deny the police. Try to work with the home health service that was working with you on her care, they may have some suggestions too. Sounds like a case of elder abuse by refusing medical care complicated by elder financial abuse. Good luck hope you are able to get this situation straightened out, you are your mother's best advocate. Games family play are some of the most stressful. I care for my mother in law with CHF, husband is POA for medical and financial and his older sister is not too happy about it. While we are trying to get mom's house ready for sale sister keeps insinuating she should get a share of the proceeds, to the point she cries and whines on the phone how hard it is to pay her bilss etc. I intervened and told her no it's mom's money, not hers that she has no claims on the property at this time because mom is still with us. (anytime something large needed to be repaired or replaced she never could afford to help but could afford vacations to aruba or Maya Rivera needless to say we paid for or did repairs ourselves) good luck attempting to get family heirlooms back, it's not going to happen. Like your situation she does not help with care and comes up with excuses for everything. I'm just thankful for the hospice care mom recieves in our home. Between hospice and creative cooking (frozen waffles 610mg sodium compared to made from scratch 35 mg) to keep sodium levels down (1500 mg or less daily) I hope to have mom around for as long as God will allow. Keep us posted on how things go for you. What really bothers me about your mom's situation is lack of medical care. That alone should disqualify them from guardianship.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

You sound very well grounded and like you've been the rock in your parent's life. Good on you. You've done so much for your parents. It seems you have their best interest at heart. I'm apologize if any of my questions comments below cause you any upset. You have a very interesting and complex situation.

I'm just a regular guy (not a professional) with two siblings and two aging parents with dementia issues and our situation is under control at the moment. But honestly, without more knowledge of details, I'm a bit shocked at what your siblings are doing. Have they no fear of being sued by the State for treating an elderly citizen like that? (Assuming they are really stripping her assets for herself and not for instance, selling things and putting the money in her account.)

I guess this is rather personal, but why are they excluding you from everything? Are you the only one that wants to do what is right and they have ganged up on you? Do you think they feel you would not take 'appropriate action' at this stage in your mom's life and felt they needed to do so?

Being in a situation where me and my sisters, by default, have to care for my parents. I can see how easy it would be to mistreat them and pillage their estate because there is no one immediately / closely watching over us (at this moment). But mistreating them or their estate is just not going to happen. At least two of the three of us are level headed and realize that the State will (SHOULD) protect them and their assets and should prosecute those who don't.

As 'legal' temporary guardians I assume that means they make all the decisions for your mother and that she has been declared incapable of handling her affairs? So, although not necessarily justifiable, they may legally have the right to do what they are doing. But as someone else stated, they will have to give a full accounting to the State of where what happened to every dollar. Of course, they could do an awful lot in a year before the accounting but they should be scared to death of the State to do anything that does not benefit your mother.

I guess I'm confused has to how they did all this with your mom when you where right there living with her. How did multiple siblings get the guardianship while leaving another sibling totally out of the picture? Can you not find out what happened at those proceedings? Isn't there more you can do get this looked into and possibly temporarily halted until it can be investigated by a judge. Have you hired a lawyer? Is that feasible for you to do?

Lastly, in addition to asking questions on this site, you really should be talking to the State or more likely to a lawyer if you really want solid legal answers. I wish you the best.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I really think that if there was emergency guardianship you would have been served. Have you attorney check into it.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Each state has its own guardian process, but here in Tennessee an emergency guardianship is only appointed when someone who is clearly incompetent has no POA or APS determines the POA is neglectful. Have you been able to read the plea for an emergency guardianship? Is it possible your sisters claimed there was no POA? Or that leaving your mother alone was neglectful? Has your mother's doctor been pushing to place her in a facility? If your sisters claimed anything in the initial filing that you can immediately disprove, you may be able to get the emergency order rescinded before the schedule hearing.

The only good news is as guardians your sisters will have to report and justify everything they have done concerning your mother's care and assets, including isolating her. I doubt a judge will appreciate your sisters stripping the house or making any major changes in assets as temporary guardians.

When my brother filed for guardianship and to set aside my mother's POA choices, the court appointed a guardian-ad-litum who was an elder law attorney. She used her authority to "investigate" getting copies of Mom's bank statements and medical reports but didn't override/interfere with any of Mom's or POA's actions/choices. In Mom's case my brother was claiming incompetence and so Mom would have remained legally competent until the hearing with a finding of incompetence. He dropped his action when PCP wrote a statement declaring competence and the lawyers (his and Mom's) told him after an interview she was obliviously competent and his action would fail.

You need to consult with your lawyer about what you can do before the court hearing. I hesitate to suggest anything without a good elder attorney's advice but you might consider calling APS about finding out where your mother is. It would probably help if other family members also called APS.

Good Luck!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
KaFord Sep 2018
Thank you for your response. I know my sisters knew she had a POA, and honestly, I have never been neglectful of either her or Dad. That doesn't mean they did not tell the judge such crap. I think they probably told the judge I did something to cause dad's death, but that is completely untrue! Dad had Parkinson's, heart failure, kidney disease, had a bad fall while in the bathroom, and I took him to the ER. We stayed all night. They treated and released him, but he had no breaks etc...only contusions. He got worse (confused, trouble breathing) and I took him back to the ER. They admitted him. He stayed about a week but got progressively worse. Rehab turned him down. Dr said he could only release him to skilled nursing facility hospice or hospice at home. I chose to take him home. He declined rapidly and passed about a week later. I did everything I was supposed to do. I'm sure of that. I've gotten all his records.

I don't see how they will be able to justify all they've done. Mom hasn't even been seen by home health since they did this. They're definitely putting her at risk. I had planned on staying with her and hiring day help before they did this. She could have stayed in her own home.

I called APS in the county she lives in, but I'm going to try the county she's being kept in since they have done nothing.
(1)
Report
Are you sure about the emergency guardianship? Seems they would have had a court hearing for that to happen. You would have been notified of that unless maybe she is in a nursing home? Are you caregiver to mom? Did mom need assistance that dad was providing that overnight that was gone?

What is the back story?

Yes guardianship overrides POA as it is assigned by the court.

I am sorry for the loss of your dad.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
KaFord Sep 2018
I have not received notification of said guardianship, but I'm sure of it. It was filed in the county of residence. My DPOA was filed with an attorney in the adjacent county. I had that attorney contest it. (Not sure why I haven't gotten notification yet.) She was at home where I had planned to remain with her and hire someone during the day. I had been staying every night with both of them for several years now. I'm also executor of the estate, which jumped from my dad to me. Mom was skipped due to the dementia. Dad wanted it that way.

I never er got a chance to show the judge anything. My sisters were never there, and I have literally taken care of everything they needed for 6 years. My sisters have already been stripping her of her assets. Do I still have the right to be on/ take care of the property and assets? Don't I still have the right to hear from/ know that my mom is ok? See her? It's not just me being kept from her. It's the rest of the family too.

Thank you for taking the time to answer.
(0)
Report
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter