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My mom is 100!!! And has lived in her own home until 3 months ago when it was becoming obvious she had the beginnings of dementia and wasn’t eating well enough to stay home alone anymore. We placed her in a nursing home which she has fought tooth and nail. In her own home she could nap and get up whenever she wanted and was getting her days and nights confused. At the nursing home she was up most of the night. Hoping someone would help her get out.


Question: they are giving her something to take the edge off but I don’t know what it is and I’m not the POA. My sister is but she also doesn’t know and doesn’t seemed concerned and won’t tell me anything because I’m “meddling” My mom has NEVER taken meds and now doesn’t want these because she’s afraid of being “doped”. Sometimes she hides them because she says they give her crazy dreams. I’m concerned about the inconsistent usage and side effects. Help!

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It's kind of a danged if you do and danged if you don't - with no meds she is up all night looking for ways out, something to "take the edge off" could be what is needed to improve her quality of life. Someone should mention the current meds are causing side effects (nightmares) though.
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Hopefully the NH has tested her for a UTI which can mimic dementia symptoms. Many NH residents are on antidepressants. They have helped my MIL immensely. But if your mom says she's "hiding" them...not sure how that happens because doesn't the nurse stay there and watch her take them? The staff may not be able to tell you what she's on but they can tell you how they administer her meds. Let them know what she told you. They may tell you it's not possible for her to hide them. Hope you get the answers you need!
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Rosiepie Aug 2019
Thank you. I have heard that recently and have asked about that.
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100??!! Wow, you don't hear that too often. To stay home that long is quite an accomplishment!
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Does your sister have POA for healthcare as well as for financial affairs?

If mom is competent, she can sign a HIPAA release which allows you to discuss medical issues with her doctors, the Director of Nursing and other professionals.

Talk to the social worker at the facility about your concerns and see if mom can't sign a HIPAA release.
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Rosiepie Aug 2019
That is a great idea. Thank you
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I would do as BarbBrooklyn recommends. And I would contact the facility and tell them that your mom is having an adverse reaction to the meds that are supposed to take the edge off. Maybe she can be prescribed melatonin to help her sleep at night.

Just curious why she couldn't have stayed home and a housekeeper be brought in to feed her and help with the house?

Whomever placed her took extreme measures in my opinion. Is there something to be gained from placing mom?
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