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I am disabled with chronic illnesses and have been a caretaker to my mom primarily (and father who I had to stop helping due to his "new found" disdain, hatred of me; he's the first parent I started caring for in 2004 when I detected he had prostate cancer down to his dialysis and three time traumas where he ended up in ICU in comas due to very high blood sugars...current day he has dementia/ Alzheimer's). My mom has serious chronic illnesses which I detected in 2014 including a restrictive lung disease, hypertension, pulmonary hypertension, congestive heart failure, asthma and more. I have one sibling, a married brother. There was never an election, discussion as to who would take care of her - I decided to do it in spite of my serious conditions. We three live together so I'm always "it". The trauma I've experienced being the only person that knows what to do (the males expect this and literally run when something goes wrong, never bothered/cared to learn anything about her care), seeing and diving in to revive her, get her to breathe, multitasking to not lose her, calling our Dr and 911 too many times to count, watching her going out - all of it has done significant damage to me. There's so much. Doesn't matter if I'm in mid-seizure or whatever I'm the one that jumps into the fire. The issue is that my father has graduated many times with his dementia and Alzheimer's kicked in. We used to be inseparable. Since I became very ill he turned on me and has been verbally and emotionally abusive which has become treacherous and unbearable. My self care is practically nonexistent and the depression is at it's heights, scary heights. He made my brother POA on a covert mission when one weekday my brother and sister in law came over (at the peak of their work days?), were acting weird and ultimately took my parents away leaving me alone with no idea of what was happening. They set everything up to have my parents will enforced and elected the POA, my brother and somehow she has some power here. When I did figure it out - wow I can't type those feelings or words. One day my father decided to call the authorities to have me removed from the home after making up an awful lie that I assaulted my mother and into a psychiatric unit (where they had to release me as there was no basis to keep me). That experience, that place was like being in hell on earth, the worst of the stories and conditions we see on TV. He continues to target me. The only time he switches is when I have money or do something where he'll benefit. Lately he's declined and calls me every horrific name imaginable, tells me I'm a zero, a failure etc. The truth is that I'm an accomplished, incredible woman.
Unfortunately I've been in several extremely near fatal automobile accidents where I was always hit starting in 1998-2014. The details are unbelievable, honestly so bad that I've been asked for the rights of my tragedies to make a movie and/or write a book. I'm blessed to still be here. So between my life turning upside down, recent cancer which I had surgery for last December (now cancer free thankfully) yet many complications arose and made me worse, people in my family saying I am/have been faking everything (how does one fake Generalized Dystonia/Parkinsonism, seizure disorder, head and skull trauma, PTSD, chronic pain, heart disease, thyroid tumor etc etc), mom lashes out at me although I do EVERYTHING for her. She turns Judas, flips sides to his (father) when he acts out against me and they talk about me like a dog within ear shot constantly. I cannot, do not trust them and others. It's become so bad that I have thoughts I've never had and literally want to walk away. I've nowhere to go. But no one knows the depths of my days from waking up from nightmares, working on mom who takes everything out on me, running the household/budget, being threatened and abused daily, always being at the edge of my seat. I need serious help, no one hears my cries and I'm sinking.

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I'm so sorry you are in such a terrible situation, my friend, but glad you reached out to tell us your story. Sending you a big HUG this afternoon.

It really sounds like YOU need care yourself at this point rather than doling out the care to your mother. There comes a time where it's no longer possible to be a caretaker, even if you want to, and you have to put your own needs ahead of others. It sounds like nobody is putting your needs first, including YOU, which is sad. You don't deserve abuse by anyone; you deserve love and compassion and care.

If you have no real income and are living rent free with your mother and see no other options but to continue living there & suffering this abuse, perhaps you should think about applying for Medicaid. You can get placed into a long term care setting, perhaps, and get out of the home you're being abused in.

In the meantime, call the Suicide Hotline if you feel like death is the only way out:

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a United States-based suicide prevention network of over 160 crisis centers that provides 24/7 service via a toll-free hotline with the number 1-800-273-8255. It is available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.

Wishing you the very best of luck finding help for YOURSELF now and sending you a prayer for success.
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I really cannot tell if you are telling us that you are so chronically ill that you must now live with your parents
Or
If you are telling us that you are so ill you can no longer care for your parents.

I think yours and your parents problems are too severe for anyone on the Forum to really help you. I suggest you seek professional help for yourself. Tell your POA brother that he is in charge for the parents and you want no further part in it all. Ask your doctor to refer you for counseling.
I sure do wish you luck, but cannot see that remaining in the home of your parents is an option for you. I am so sorry for all the illness, worry and disruption in your daily life.
Your current living conditions sound like a nightmare, and I get the impression you feel trapped by your own illness and unable to leave to make a life of your own. There is no reason to stay there. No one is the happier for your being there. Your parents are under no obligation to provide you with housing. So whatever must be done to find you housing on your own needs to be done.
You need serious help for yourself.
The parents then will be on their own with the brother who is their chosen POA. I think you have enough on your plate dealing with your own illnesses and jobs and housing in future. Your parents will have to care for themselves or become wards of the state when unable to care for themselves and all of that is in the control of your brother, who is the legal POA.
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"The details are unbelievable, honestly so bad that I've been asked for the rights of my tragedies to make a movie and/or write a book." So there you go! Sell those rights and get the heck out of that house! Look around for social services to help you out. they are out there. There must be somewhere to go that is better than what you are dealing with. Let POA ( and POS) take over the care.. if he puts them in a home it's on them. No one deserves to be treated this way. Use those accomplishments to save yourself. Good luck on your journey
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I'm so sorry for the distress that you are in. I would like to gently point out that you are not a prisoner of your situation, even if it "feels" like it. You are not PoA so this allows you to resign from caregiving and request your parents be removed from your home or give notice that you are leaving the home . Your brother or parents cannot stop you. You can only be take advantage of with your own permission. It will add to your burden to try to find alternate housing, or a job, so I'm not saying any of this lightly. There just doesn't seem to be any other alternatives. Life is short and the current arrangement is shortening it further. May you have much wisdom and peace in your heart as you move forward with the rest of your life.

Resources:
Social Services (for your county) at the Dept of Health and Human Services online
Your local area's Agency on Aging
Local churches or charities (you do not need to be a member to request help)
Neighbors / Nextdoor.com
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To answer your question, "what more can I possibly do?" I would have to say LEAVE!!! The sooner the better. You owe your parents nothing! But you owe yourself so much more. I know you're disabled, but there is government subsidized housing out there for you to live in. It breaks my heart that you continue to take the abuse your parents give you. Why? Why do you continue to tolerate it? Hopefully you will seek some therapy to answer that question. You are worthy of so much more. Your brother now has POA for your parents, so they are now his responsibility. Let him now take over, and get a taste of their abuse. I'm sure he will live to regret the day he signed to be their POA. Please leave this toxic environment ASAP, and if necessary please call the Suicide Hotline as well. I know lealonnie1 listed their number below. I pray you will take all the good advice you have received on this forum. God bless you.
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First I thank you all for taking the time to read and respond to my issue. Second for the things that may not be obvious, I didn't have enough space to explain certain things like where is my brother, why I would voluntarily TAKE the abuse, that I have a huge team of medical professionals namely an excellent Psychiatrist, an excellent therapist and other specialists. If I'm here for help it's because I'm truly at a loss. I take all of your suggestions with deep thought and gratitude. I am in a situation where it is very difficult to leave. I didn't get to explain that my brother only comes sometimes, doesn't want to talk about what's happening, runs if he sees me about to have a seizure/having one and I cannot get through to him. We used to be closer before his second marriage to the sister-in-law with agendas galore. I'm very independent or was all of my life. I've helped myself through my tragedies. I've been in therapy and has a Psychiatrist forever.
I've lost my way and yes, the walls are closing in on me. I called his Dr again to pontificate what's happening and that my father needs help.
For all of you that have extended prayers and support I am forever grateful. No one wants or volunteers to be abused. I'm on Medicaid and have been working tirelessly for help as well. I work very hard although I am not allowed to work and I'm constantly venturing to learn. I've been managing my own care as I mentioned and as deeply complex a situation I have plus a PCP who gave up on me after last February (I was coding in the office and heard her say "the surgery was supposed to help, what the hell is this? She's worse now, look at these movements! I can't believe this...we tried so hard...") and have been dodging me since although I'm always, always calling. A few Dr's jumped ship including my Neurologist which I'm trying to replace, have been forever.
Im going to take the good parts of your responses as some of you are true angels, bless you all. I'm on Hormone Replacement Therapy currently and it is not easy. I need help to find housing. My mother and I are very close despite her lash outs and I've been through so much with her that simply walking away and leaving my brother in charge is certain break-down for her. He won't do it and his wife has made it clear verbally that they will never take care of my parents. Yet they, well she wants the benefits of the aftermath.
Thank you for your support, encouragement, empathy and valuable resources.
Just to note: it took me months to reach out and I've been a part of this community for a while. Because I'm extremely vulnerable and not myself. It took me being on a thread to write this. I encourage people to be mindful of the things they say to other people who are about to give everything up not voluntarily and definitely keep judgements out of the category of SUPPORT. For you angels, you know who you are, much light and gratitude I cannot tell you what your selfless empathy and suggestions mean to me. May you all be well.
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