Mom appointed both or either to have access under 45 CFR chapter 164. We both are authorized to receive health information. This was done 7 years ago and never needed until now. Mom has dementia and was in the hospital and follow ups with her primary and a new doctor of cardiology. I asked for the office note and recently received it. It is a consultation letter from cardiology back to the primary. At the bottom it says my sister does not want him or the primary discussing the mother’s care with me and they will honor that! On the side it lists allergies, meds history, medical, surgical and family. Under family it says mother requests that doctor does not communicate with me and says apparently that I don’t have legal rights to see this information.
This is after stating she has dementia, doesn’t remember being in the hospital or going to her primary doctor the previous day.
Should I confront my sister? Or send a certified letter to both doctors and the hospital with my POA and protected health form that was done in a lawyer's office years ago?
If there isn't a new PoA and you are still a co, then the lawyer needs to write a letter to the hospital admins regarding their actions.
Having co-PoAs only works when the relationship between the 2 are solid and healthy (and suspicion-free). My husband and his youngest brother are co for their Mom and it's worked fine for many years (but then again the Mom has no assets and is on Medicaid in a LTC facility).
Who is the FPoA for your Mom? Are you co on that as well? I'm not sure what the power struggle between you two is all about. It's certainly not in your mother's best interests. The big guns would be to pursue guardianship but that is very expensive.
Often we only get one side of the story. Hoping this isn't really about inheritance (as it often is). Can you please provide more information?
mom can’t make her own decisions at this point. I have said “ mom you are spending more than you have in the bank so we have to fix this/ her response is I know I have lots of money/ “. She doesn’t understand time, place, month-and can be swayed in the moment which is sad that people take advantage.
walking away from this fiasco would be better for my mental health but I didn’t realize I would need a lawyer to do so.
staying in my supposedly position I am legally responsible for what’s going on and in the future don’t want to be questioned by moms other adult children and grandchildren why moms money was depleted or why grandma is in a horrible nursing home.
I am stuck in the decisions I need to make and need help
My lawyer said dr should never have agreed on blocking me from access without the legal documents.
the hospital has the correct information about code status but for some reason when my sister took her for a follow up she said moms a DNR. The doctor accepted it and took her off her meds and suggested home care, which my sister declined and said she would be palliative now.
lawyer is sending documents that I am resigning from Financial POA. And being the executive. I don’t want any part of that.
and I want mom to have home nursing check on her and my sister said she doesn’t need it. But talking to mom she says she would love company!
she actually loved being in the hospital because everyone was nice and talked to her. Now she is home all day alone and can’t remember if she even ate .
it’s costly to apply for guardianship and costly to resign at this point.
That being said, this doesn't solve the issues with hospital or doctors. Contact lawyer in your area. Show lawyer your POA and have them contact hospital and doctors about your rights. Then, set appointment for sister with a legal representative about working out the access to health information issue if working with a counsellor doesn't work out.
My thinking is this is a fight for guardianship if mom is severely demented and incapable of making her own decision. You are talking 10,000 and the court may remove it from BOTH you and sis and appoint a state guardian/fiduciary. OR one of you will be told to resign. OR you resign now and that surely would be my choice. You have taken this to your mother. She has denied there is a problem. Your sister lives in her area and is caring for her. You will likely not win this, and were I you I would resign and take the worry of responsibility where you cannot act off the table.
I hope you will update us as you go, whatever you decide. Wishing you good luck.