If your loved one died in a facility what physical features of the room did you find to be positive, or wish could have been different?

My mom died in hospital. She had been in emergency and was transferred to a private room. It was not the palliative care unit but rather than move her to another probably non-private room we kept her in her private room and the palliative team treated her. At least that's what I had been told. But the incompetence led me to think not.

But as for the room. It was old, had that old smell to it. Just functional, (barely). A small square chalkboard across from the bed with mom's name on it. A bed with a small bedside thing with a drawer. No pictures. A old, old, washroom which was cold and dank and depressing. When I had to use the washroom I went and used the one in the main hospital area. There was a sliding glass door to gain entry to the room. The window looked out on a dirty parking lot. So all in all, quite depressing. To be honest it could have been the Ritz and I wouldn't have noticed. And since my mom was unconscious her whole time there it didn't matter to her.

The staff had very poor communication with me and with each other. One nurse would come in and tell me mom was scheduled to get another morphine shot in a half hour, then 5 min. later a different nurse would walk in and give her morphine. So, I finally stopped asking cause I'd get different answer each time. The night mom died I was talking to the lady at the desk about transferring mom's body to the morgue when the charge nurse came running over saying "oh, did she stop breathing?" Like I said, incompetence!

Almost three weeks ago, my father died in a nursing home where he had gone to live with my mother almost two years previously. He had had two hospital stays prior to his death and had requested to not be taken to the hospital again. We are so glad we followed this directive because it would have meant being separated from my mother and being in unfamiliar surroundings.

I had just arrived home from holding vigil at his side throughout the day when his nurse called to tell me that he had passed away. I’ll never forget walking up to the nursing home entrance late at night and seeing two CNA’s standing outside waiting for us like an honor guard, so we would not have to walk in alone. In their room, they had brought in several chairs, a tray with coffee, cups, a pitcher of water, and some snacks. My father had been bathed and put in a clean nightshirt. We were left to say our goodbyes and pray until we signaled to them that they could call the funeral home. They were there within minutes and we were then led to another room while the funeral home prepared to transport my father’s body. They draped an American flag over him.

My only criticism is that it would have been nice to have a cot to sleep in for a family member who wanted to stay the night. I spent the night with my mother and they provided me with a reclining chair that was so uncomfortable that I ended up crawling into bed with her, which comforted us both emotionally, but made it impossible for me to sleep at all.

A nursing facility is like a small village. It begins to stir around 4:30 in the morning as they start their rounds and begin getting residents up. My parents were usually the last to get up, so around 6:30, we started to get visitors as word spread throughout the facility that my father had passed away. I let my mother continue to sleep as I accepted the condolences of numerous staff members and residents. When my mother awakened later in the morning, the stream of visitors continued. I know that medical professionals are taught to not get emotionally invested, but it’s different when the patient lives there. I saw how my father’s death affected the members of this little “village” - from the residents, to nurses, CNA’s, laundresses, housekeepers, cafeteria staff, physical therapists, office staff, activity director, and regular volunteers and visitors.

I know this is more than you were asking for, but thanks for the question. It has helped me to write it.

Very interesting question, and thought provoking.    One aspect which I never paid any attention to before was a tv, with an "easy music" station which provided soft, gentle, soothing background music.

Like most tvs in medical facilities though, it was mounted on the wall, so anyone watching it had to look upward.   This always gave me a neck ache.

Good magazines on various topics (excluding politics) were available in lounges throughout the facility; we could take them to the room and read them, and leave them in either one of the main lounges or a small local lounge.   Bookcases were also filled with various novels, etc.   All lounges had exterior viewing access.

Windows in each room looking out on courtyards or the exterior of the building were very helpful for relaxation.   Private rooms were also the best arrangement.  Multiple halls, providing exterior viewing for rooms on both sides of the hall were best.  Rooms with no exterior views sucked and were depressing and confining.

Some windows could be opened; others couldn't.   Blinds had to be adjusted with changing positions of the sun.

As a visitor, one thing that always appealed to me was the free coffee and tea.   It was very calming to have a cup of coffee while visiting my father or mother.   One facility had a small "deli" which also provided reasonably priced meals for family.

Bathrooms in each hall made it easy for visitors, especially since the last facility Dad was in was very large, and sometimes a bit complex moving in terms of layout.

Perhaps one of the best and most unique was the closed circuit TV with half a dozen monitors in the entry lounge.   From what I could see, each building in the complex was monitored.  I was told that a security vehicle patrolled the premises.  

The closet was actually an armoire, with ample room for hanging clothes and drawers plus shelving for stored items.

The bathroom was unique; the basin and mirror was in the room; only the toilet and shower facilities were in a private area.   I think this made it easier for the residents and nurses to conduct business w/o vision being blocked by corners.

The best facilities had pianos and good activities.   Pianos really made a difference.    Top notch and very professional therapists were also a helpful element at the last facility.   Their professionalism and maturity far exceeded one of the other facilities we had gone to several times, until it deteriorated and was no longer acceptable.

Courtyards with umbrellas, nice landscaping (absent in many places) helped make being outdoors or just watching outdoor activities pleasant and relaxing.  One facility bordered on woods.  Deer, multiple birds, and sand hill cranes entertained the residents.

GA interesting that you mentioned music, that was one of the things I really wished had been available. There was a TV but the stations available were minimal, I doubt many want to watch Family Feud while someone is actively dying.

Unfortunately when the admins moved my post from discussions to questions they doomed it to disappear after one day, I had hoped to get some ideas from others who have walked this road in order to make suggestions for improvements at our local facilities.
We have a new 3 or 4 room hospice in town that was built and runs with donations, it would be wonderful if everyone could have such surroundings in their final days. When you consider that almost 100% of the people who are in long term care will eventually die there having an appropriate, caring spot dedicated to palliative care shouldn't be an afterthought.

So sorry for your loss, Cwillie, on the anniversary of your Mother's death.

I do believe you would make an excellent design engineer, or at least an OSHA inspector.

Wherever I go, I am thinking how to make changes or improvements to a room,
a building, etc.

And your desire for better hospitality in any place is always a good thing.

My father died in a private room at a continuing care retirement facility. He did not reside there before his final illness, but the facility accepts people for short-term stays in some parts of the building, on a space-available basis. The facility is two very short blocks from the house where I grew up and where my mom still lives. It was great for us to be able to walk over to the facility to visit my dad in his final days. The room had a big window with a view of a lovely tree. We played classical music on the radio. I think there was a fold-out couch in the room, although I'm not sure. The employees were wonderful. I can't think of a better, nicer place for my dad to spend the last week of his life.

Thank-you Garden, you are right. This particular hospital has come under fire a few times for their horrible treatment of patients. The elderly in particular. There was one story on the news about an elderly woman who was released, left outside the hospital with her hospital gown on still. They didn't even phone for a taxi for her. When I heard about this on the news I didn't believe it to be honest. But after seeing the treatment my mom received I believe it now.

I wouldn't have even had her brought there but the nursing home had called the ambulance and this was the closest hospital. If I had thought transferring her wouldn't have caused her even more distress I would have.

I wish I could have come up with a better title for this thread but even a couple of days later I'm at a loss on how to get the attention I was looking for. My curiosity centres around how the dying and those who support them spend their final days and hours, from the most luxurious facilities to the other extreme, and what made things harder/easier.

For those of you who had someone die in hospital, IMO it is something to be avoided if possible. Although our little 20 bed hospital has a palliative room (again, funded by donations) most major hospitals - ironically - are not equipped to deal with death.

Great question! It sounds simplistic, but it's a profound question. Furnishing can lend an atmosphere that's healing, both body and soul, or cold and unwelcoming.

I only noticed how furnishings can change a feel in a room from when I performed my CNA practicals at a nursing home last year. Most rooms were basic hospital bed and furnishings, clean, but no particular person's soul. I walked into one room that was as if the elder [what this nursing home called their residents] would have in her own apartment: her own furniture, knick knacks, artwork, and reclining chairs! The calm and warmth of the room would make me never want to leave it.