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I have a small home and limited space as it is. My brother is in prison and it’s just good old yours truly. I have no need for her things. I’m going to have my boyfriend & his friends move her stuff out of her room and donate it to goodwill (except for our family pictures and stuff). I hope that doesn’t sound cruel.

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Does your mom have a will? If she does, who are the beneficiaries? If she doesn't, you and your brother will inherit your mom's belongings, and your brother should have a say in what is done with the things.
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Reply to Rosered6
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You could hire an estate company to set up and run an estate sale. The sale can be done right at the house, so you won't have to move anything. They will take 40-50% of the proceeds as a commission, but they will do all of the work.
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Reply to olddude
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freqflyer Oct 4, 2025
oldude, I tried that for my parent's house. None of the estate companies were interested unless the paintings were by Monet or the furniture had sat in Buckingham Castle.
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This is what a Lot. of people. do donate the belongings .
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Reply to KNance72
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If she's in LTC she doesn't have a lot of stuff, like my MIL.

We asked the facility if they wanted all her clothers (yes). You don't have to take her hygiene stuff, or disposable briefs -- they will be glad to have those back for others to use.

She had a tv that we gave to a grandson, and a cd player/radio. All other uniquely personal things (like photos) we took home. They may not want hanging artwork. Any medical equipment can be left at the facility. My MIL had a special wheelchair for people who could not sit up. It was paid for by Medicaid and I suppose we could have taken it and sold it (it was huge) but the facility was a faith-based non-profit so I know they would give it to some other resident in need.

Everything else we offered to other residents directly or donated to a thrift store.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Whomever is in charge as POA or as next of kin manager of care, when certain mother will not be returning home, will--yes--clear out and donate or discard belongings. When your parent is still alive it is indeed more distressing, but certainly paying for storage and removal to same is quite a waste in so many ways.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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I was POA. I had a 4 bedroom farm house to clear out. I asked my brother what did they want, they came and got it. The rest got given to thrift shops and given away. When the house got sold, anything left went out on the curb to be picked up by the township.

Facebook is a good place to get rid of stuff. We have a local Freecycle group. You post and they pick up.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Sounds practical to me. Senior's "stuff" is basically worthless, despite what they may have believed. Better to donate it to people who may actually need something. There's nothing cruel about it. You have to survive.

Be sure to save the photos and special momentoes.
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Reply to Dawn88
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The facility that Mom was in was happy to take some of her things. They had a place to store some furnishings and they could be donated for other residents. Their maintenance staff would move them for you. You might inquire about this.
I also saw flyers in the facility for someone who died and their family was selling and donating items from their room/apartment to those who wanted them.
We brought some items home and got a neighbor to help move a couple of heavy items.
I was approached by staff concerning donating depends for those who needed them. I was told privately by one of the staff that there was someone there whose son did not always provide incontinence briefs for his mom and she was usually in need of them. I happily donated them.
Another facility where we had family took donations for their second hand store, them proceeds from which went into their benevolent fund.
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Reply to Pjdela
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When my mother died, the nursing home boxed up all of my mother’s belongings. There was nothing of value. I just brought it all home and went through everything and threw most of it out. There were a couple of pictures I gave her that I kept.
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Reply to Hothouseflower
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What you are doing does not seem cruel. What you are doing is what you have to do when anyone dies.
Obviously if there were any pieces that truly held meaning for you you would find a way to keep them. If you truly felt a connection with the night table you would find a way to make a place for it in your home...as it is it is simply a night table.
You could ask the facility if there are any pieces that they would like to keep. this way if a new resident comes in and they need items they can be used.
I am sure they would take articles of clothing that are in good condition.
Nothing against any donation place but if there is a church run donation site I would chose that over Goodwill.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Please note any items donated to Goodwill need to be really good shape. Clothes lightly worn. Kitchen items without any chips, etc. If there are books, flip through all the pages to make sure nothing personal was placed. Libraries have yearly book sales and ask for book donations. I believe Goodwill still take DVD tapes, check with your local store.


Items that wouldn't pass the Goodwill test, place curbside. You'd be surprised how many people will take the items :)


What I kept of my parents were some of their lamps as I like them better than what I had. So look around your house to see what you can swap out, replacing with your Mom's things. My Mom had a small custard bowl which I now use for paperclips. I donated some of my own sofa pictures with that of my parents.
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Reply to freqflyer
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There is a company called Caring Transitions in the US that we used for my in-laws' things and will soon be using for my folks (all of whom are still living but needed to sell their houses and downsize their stuff). We got the things we wanted, then turned the rest of the process over to them. They set up an online auction and handled all the shipping and pick-ups, then got rid of all the rest of it so we didn't have to worry about it. It was so good not to have to deal with the whole shebang ourselves. I'd recommend finding a company like that near you, if you have one. It's well worth the cost.
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Reply to StacyAa
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Of course it's not cruel. Every elder seems to have a mountain of physical goods left behind when they pass. Nobody can use all that stuff, so it gets donated, sold, or tossed. I'm sorry this is all left to you and I can relate. We had to dispose of my in-laws 60 year hoard before we could sell their place. You might ask your brother if there's anything he wants or save a few small sentimental items if you think he'd appreciate that.
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Reply to iameli
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Sounds like the right thing to do. Make sure you don’t miss anything special.
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Reply to Pokey33
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For Goodwill, items have to be gently used or brand new. Since Goodwill does not do laundry service, item have to be ready to wear. I used to work at the ready to eat section at a Goodwill warehouse for over four years.

You may ask for more advice from me.

Patathome01
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Reply to Patathome01
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Not cruel, necessary. Yes, donate everything you can, they will sort what they can use and if not they will recycle it. The only thing they don't take are mattresses. I worked at Savers thrift store and any clothes we rejected were banded and sent to poverty countries. Don't feel guilty, they'll keep charging you and you might qualify for a return portion of rent. Sorry for your loss.
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Reply to JuliaH
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There is something called a contractor's cleanout. Firms that specialize in this will clean out a house or apartment or office, divide the things to go to the dump, the thrift store, garage sale, or keep, haul it all away, sweep up after themselves, and then they go away.

If you need the place cleaned, such as floors, carpets, walls, they can arrange that too and sometimes do it themselves. It costs money, but they can do this in a day or two versus your dealing with all of it for weeks or months. This is particularly helpful for landlords who must have a quick turnaround when one tenant leaves and the next needs a quick move-in.

When a parent leaves you with a lifetime collection of useless and unattractive stuff, you have no commitment to sweetly offer their Hummel figurines and collection of Mason jars to faraway relatives who don't want them either. If you're sentimental, take a picture of mom's teddy bear collection before you rehome it with the toddler who lives down the street.
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Reply to Fawnby
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Sorry for your loss. Many posters are under the impression you have a home to empty rather than a care facility room. Your plan sounds great. If Goodwill doesn't want the items, just toss them and don't have any guilt. It is not cruel.
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Reply to Bobby40
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Have you asked the director if they would accept donations? I was able to donate all of my mom's belongings to the poor residents.
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Reply to Onlychild2024
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If you have no need for any of her things for yourself there may be people in her assisted living complex who would like her things. When my mother passed away some of her neighbors were happy to get her end tables and a chair, and one lady even took some of her clothes so just ask. It would save you a lot of time and leg work having to lug it all off to good will. Good luck!
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Reply to Specpondmom2
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Oregoncats: Use a contractor cleanout.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Lahli232 Oct 10, 2025
explain contractor cleanout, please.
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Donating the clothing and any unwanted furniture is a wonderful way to honor your Loved One. PLEASE make sure you check for hidden cash. We found over in cash that my late mother had in various envelopes and baggies stashed in drawers, in shoes, in socks, in boxes. She was in Assisted Living for six years since my dad passed, and we kept giving her spending money. What she didn't use, she stowed away in places that she could not remember. Since she passed a short time ago, I still have a lot of her "stuff", and sometimes it is like being on a treasure hunt.
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Reply to asfastas1can
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When Mom moved from a 2BR Independent Living apt (sparsely furnished, she was the opposite of a hoarder) to group home, we had to dispose of almost everything. We took a lot to thrift store, kept some sentimental items (strangely, her clothes were the hardest for me to give away), eg I keep an old metal colander I remembered from childhood and some books we enjoyed together.

What ever was left, like larger furniture, we left in her apartment, and the facility publicized a "come and get it. ". Every stick of furniture and miscellaneous stuff was snapped up.

At the group home, they told us just to bring a suitcase with clothes for a couple days. They have a lot of handmedowns from former residents, apparently. Mom still wears a lot of her own clothes, come to think of it, so maybe we took more over later, I don't remember.
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Reply to MomsBrain
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You are not sounding cruel. It is a burden to have this thrust on you. There are junk movers who will move stuff for a fee. I don't know the cost, but check it out online. Good luck.
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Reply to Isabelsdaughter
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The OP's Mom was in a facility in LTC. She also states she was residing in a room... not a house. I cannot imagine there is much stuff in a LTC room. My MIL was in one for 7 years: the bed was not hers, just a chair, a small book cabinet and clothes in her closet.

It doesn't seem like a contractor is needed. The OP hasn't been back to comment or clarify.
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Reply to Geaton777
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i don’t think you should feel as though you must keep
your mothers things. They were hers, she’s gone, donating to Salvation Army helps the down and out and they are a non-profit.
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Reply to Credulous
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Salvation Army used to pick up the donations. Box up the small items so they are ready to go. They won't pack it up, but they will pick it up. Unless they have changed. Much better use of items than Goodwill in my opinion.
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Reply to Lylii1
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This sounds like the perfect solution and is, in fact. what I did when I cleaned out my Mom's room at the NH. I removed all identifying marks and donated her things, sans any pictures and keepsakes.

Pls don't consider this cruel or anything akin to that, it's a very clear-minded and helpful to others way to handle these things.

I hope that you find comfort in your grieving.
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Reply to Luta65
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It does not sound cruel. I made many, many trips to Goodwill to get rid of most of mom's 60 years of "stuff". I kept the photos, a few mementoes and offered many things to the family if they wanted them. If the stuff is not yours, you are not responsible for giving it a good home.
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Reply to JustAnon
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GoPhillies2025 Nov 16, 2025
Hello, If you are not the executor of the estate, that is who carries out the wishes mentioned in the will. If there is no will, no executor, it is your responsibility and decision what to do with her things.
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