I'm sorry but Christmas is a time of giving and showing love.
You can best believe if I had an aide working in my home, I would be giving he/she a gift.
Just because it is a company rule doesn't make it a right rule. Lord forbid someone lose a job over accepting a gift. I wouldn't work for a company like that.
Write a letter of appreciation and put it in the prettiest card you can make. Even if your crafting skills are sub-optimal, something you take the time to make is always more personal than anything you could buy. If you can do nothing else, fold a piece of paper and put lettering on the card with colored pens and paste a photo on it. The real gift will be the letter, which you should write by hand. Use some details of things that you have particularly appreciated. Caregivers, teachers, all of those people who work to make our lives better tend to receive less attention and appreciation than they deserve. Writing a letter of thanks may mean more than any other gift you might buy.
This comes up each year. It is not just care givers who cannot accept gifts.
I like the idea of sending a meal to each shift, pizza etc. This shows broad appreciation to everyone on staff.
Several years ago I worked as a MOA for multiple practitioners. We were getting deliveries daily and one of the delivery drivers went over and above. He would even deliver packages addressed to my home to me at work, to save me having to go pick up packages at the depot. I wanted to thank him and asked him if he would like a bottle or a gift cert to a local restaurant. He told me he was not allowed to accept gifts, he was just doing his job. So I sent a glowing testimonial to the courier company and posted it on their Facebook page.
In my job I was allowed to accept gifts, but had no expectation of receiving any. I was surprised and grateful when I did get a thank you card or small gift.
I worked at another agency where the official policy was no gifts. We did receive them and they were shared with all the staff. Food was put in the common room, gift cards went into our Christmas draw. Boxes of chocolate the most common gift generally were donated, there was no way it could all be eaten by staff.
I agree with the card idea; and sticking a gift card inside would be pretty discreeet. At my place of employment we have an employee appreciation fund so all can share in the gratitude since it is so often a team effort even if families don't realize that. A casual meal for the staff on a particular shift is a nice idea as well.
I would give the caretaker a Christmas card with a gift inside. This is something for the specific caregiver and it is showing your appreciation for the care they are giving your family member. You don't have to tell the company, and for the company buy them a box of chocolates or fruit.
It is the season and it isn't a bad thing to show your appreciation.
When my mother was alive and living in assisted living and then memory care, I would order pizza and salad for the evening and overnight shift on New Year's Eve. Several told me they appreciated this after a week of Christmas sweets. Then, after mom passed away, I gave money to some of the caregivers who I felt had always gone above and beyond. I did it discretely, but since my mother was no longer under their care, I felt like the "no gifts" rule no longer applied
If you want to be sneaky, you could find the caregiver's wallet and put cash in there, or a gift card, without saying anything.
Look around the house and see what you can do to make the caregiver's day easier, or nicer. Buy new and better: dishtowels, bath towels, cookware, items to make it easier to care for your loved one, a comfortable chair, for example. If the caregiver stays overnight, then brighten the room with new curtains, bedspread, rug.
If you know where the caregiver lives, have something delivered - perhaps a bag of groceries.
We have a policy of no gifts or hospitality of any description. On the odd occasions when a client has not been told (or not understood) this, I have declined the offer with sincere thanks and explained the rules; then told my Shift Leader what happened so that the service managers can explain again if need be.
It may seem sad but Occam's Razor applies here: the simplest solution is the best. Some of the agency's other clients may be vulnerable to abuse, and taking anything from them at all would be wrong. To make sure that can't happen - no gifts from any client. Then there can't possibly be any misunderstandings.
A Christmas card with a personal message would always be well received, though :)
Go by whatever rules the agency has. The rules are in place to avoid conflict of interest or any perception of those who give gifts get better treatment than someone who can't afford to gift. Perhaps a homemade loaf of bread, bbq sauce that has no cash value would express your thanks.
Check with the caregiver's agency for their rules. Most home health aides make minimum wage; the agency pockets the rest of your money (it is a business and has business expenses). If you truly want to help your caregiver, give her a gift card to local grocery store/department store like Walmart, Target... She can use that gift card to buy groceries or anything she needs. I especially like the idea of giving a gift card specific to that store since there are fees with the credit card-type ones that diminish the actual value.
This is the best idea I've read so far... caregivers are typically underpaid for very hard work. After my sister died, I gave each one of the caregivers at the board & care a thank you card with cash inside. I also like the idea of a gift card to Walmart or Target, both places where groceries are sold. Most caregivers have families, and things are probably more difficult during this pandemic, particularly during the holidays.
I wouldn't ask the agency for permission, nor would I tell them.
I recently had about 8 weeks of caregiving after surgery. I talked to the manager and he said caregivers (I guess his company) are not allowed to keep money, they have to turn it over to the manager. He also said I could give a gift, like flowers or fruit. He also said I could give gift card. I asked if there was a $$ limit on gift card and he said there wasn't. Now, that was for his company. So check back with the company and get their policy. I believe if there is one outstanding caregiver, it is nice to show appreciation. And I had only one outstanding. The rest were so-so. But I didn't have enough work for them to do, unless I gave them housework, and I found that unnecessary on a daily basis. But this one went out of her way to make me comfortable, I could trust her with my credit card for groceries, and she took measures to help me over a short bout of Covid with her ministrations.
One of the reasons an Agency will make a policy of "no gifts" is there are some clients that can not afford to give gifts of any kind. And there are others that while the person they are caring for may want to give a gift the "purse strings" are held by someone else either court appointed or chosen POA. It places some caregivers in a situation where they could not receive a gift even if it were allowed. And then there are the stories where a caregiver is financially taking advantage of the person they are caring for. Now that said... I would give the caregivers I hired a Gift Card. the limit was $25.00 (this was to keep it fair to each of them) but I also wrote a letter for each of them that they could use as a reference letter and the ones that worked for an agency I wrote a letter to the agency as well.
Write a letter to her boss saying how wonderful she is. That is very nice of you to consider. I am not allowed to accept gifts and would be very grateful if someone did this. I have to donate any gifts I receive.
Hi, When my mom was home and we had an aide, we got her a gift card to a local store. She was appreciative. Now mom is in a NH. I wanted to get something for the staff also. The NH didn't want individual gifts, they wanted something for the staff. I happened to be in their lunchroom and saw a Keurig, I bought them several large boxes of K-Cups and brought in coffee cake the day I delivered it to them. I too thought of giving gift certificates to a local pizza place for a delivery order this year. It is so hard this year as they don't want anything homemade. I may do the k-cups again with a pizza gift certificate.
Perhaps this is understood but just want to point out that the agency is doing this for everyone’s protection. Rarely is anything truly kept secret. Claims, verbal and legal, of favoritism or discrimination may occur. Then there’s the speculation of “gold digging”, or preferential treatment of a client in the hopes of personal reward or gain. Letters of commendation to the agency are a good way to go. And may every deserving caregiver receive the rich reward they deserve some day.
I have sent Edible Arrangements to places that were helpful to mom and very supportive to me. The day care, the doctor's office and the memory care. It was enjoyed by everyone and healthy! You can even order them chocolate dipped if you want.
Separate aide? Give her what you like and tell her not to offer the information to anyone.
Yes, that is a problem in the United Kingdom as well as in the USA. Sometimes the agency has a limit on the value of the gift, such as £20 or $20. You could check on that. I chose to obey the guidelines. If it came out by mistake--because she told another caregiver and they passed on the information--it could lose her the job.
As suggested, you could send a letter praising her to the agency, as well as bake something nice for her (and tell her to keep quiet about it!)
Going against the rules and asking the aide to "keep quiet about it" could put the aide's job at risk. Not at all a nice thing to do to a nice person. Go along with the rules. Write some nice letters. Ask if there is an agency holiday fund you can contribute to, but don't put a nice person in a bad place by asking her to break the rules of her employment.
Most years at Christmas, I take an assortment of homemade fudge to the staff at my LO’s MC. I place candy in individual holiday containers and put them in decorative gift bags with a heartfelt card and small dollar value gift card. For a couple of long time, well known staff, I add a larger cash gift. No one has ever told me it’s not allowed. I make it from ME and not my LO. However, I’m not going to do it this year. Don’t want to send items inside. I’m thinking of having pizza delivered to all 3 shifts a few days before Christmas and sending one card to put on the bulletin board, giving my thanks.
I wanted to give the activities director at my mom's place a little something for Christmas last year to thank her for her work in general and because we had something in common (a love of reading). She told me she could lose her job if she accepted anything. That really broke my heart, but I didn't want to endanger her job.
As was mentioned below, I did send a letter to the bosses praising her work. It's all I could do.
I would tell her that the agency said no bonuses, so we have to keep our thank you between us. Then give her cash in a card with a copy of the letter that you send to the agency praising her for everything she does and how awesome she is.
I don't think it is any of the agencies business if you want to show your gratitude by giving the actual caregivers a TIP or gift. They just want their cut and it isn't for them, they get paid, it is a personal expression to the person that has stepped up and gone the extra mile to ensure that your loved one is receiving excellent care.
This is a really bad idea. You would be risking the aid's job and you are asking her to lie/go against her employment contract. Follow the rules. Write the aide a nice letter.
It IS the agency's business if their aides do not follow the guidelines of their business. What you are suggesting would be a very unkind thing to do to a nice person.
No offense here, but I have to.
I'm sorry but Christmas is a time of giving and showing love.
You can best believe if I had an aide working in my home, I would be giving he/she a gift.
Just because it is a company rule doesn't make it a right rule. Lord forbid someone lose a job over accepting a gift. I wouldn't work for a company like that.
For Thanksgiving, I gave the caregiver a turkey and potatoes and food to make sides. For Christmas, I will do the same with a ham.
The agency states you cannot give a gift but says nothing about buying them dinner.
What about anything, except a "Bonus".
A gift card for the best market in town?
I like the idea of sending a meal to each shift, pizza etc. This shows broad appreciation to everyone on staff.
Several years ago I worked as a MOA for multiple practitioners. We were getting deliveries daily and one of the delivery drivers went over and above. He would even deliver packages addressed to my home to me at work, to save me having to go pick up packages at the depot. I wanted to thank him and asked him if he would like a bottle or a gift cert to a local restaurant. He told me he was not allowed to accept gifts, he was just doing his job. So I sent a glowing testimonial to the courier company and posted it on their Facebook page.
In my job I was allowed to accept gifts, but had no expectation of receiving any. I was surprised and grateful when I did get a thank you card or small gift.
I worked at another agency where the official policy was no gifts. We did receive them and they were shared with all the staff. Food was put in the common room, gift cards went into our Christmas draw. Boxes of chocolate the most common gift generally were donated, there was no way it could all be eaten by staff.
It is the season and it isn't a bad thing to show your appreciation.
Look around the house and see what you can do to make the caregiver's day easier, or nicer. Buy new and better: dishtowels, bath towels, cookware, items to make it easier to care for your loved one, a comfortable chair, for example. If the caregiver stays overnight, then brighten the room with new curtains, bedspread, rug.
If you know where the caregiver lives, have something delivered - perhaps a bag of groceries.
It may seem sad but Occam's Razor applies here: the simplest solution is the best. Some of the agency's other clients may be vulnerable to abuse, and taking anything from them at all would be wrong. To make sure that can't happen - no gifts from any client. Then there can't possibly be any misunderstandings.
A Christmas card with a personal message would always be well received, though :)
I wouldn't ask the agency for permission, nor would I tell them.
It places some caregivers in a situation where they could not receive a gift even if it were allowed.
And then there are the stories where a caregiver is financially taking advantage of the person they are caring for.
Now that said...
I would give the caregivers I hired a Gift Card. the limit was $25.00 (this was to keep it fair to each of them) but I also wrote a letter for each of them that they could use as a reference letter and the ones that worked for an agency I wrote a letter to the agency as well.
When my mom was home and we had an aide, we got her a gift card to a local store. She was appreciative.
Now mom is in a NH. I wanted to get something for the staff also. The NH didn't want individual gifts, they wanted something for the staff. I happened to be in their lunchroom and saw a Keurig, I bought them several large boxes of K-Cups and brought in coffee cake the day I delivered it to them. I too thought of giving gift certificates to a local pizza place for a delivery order this year. It is so hard this year as they don't want anything homemade. I may do the k-cups again with a pizza gift certificate.
Separate aide? Give her what you like and tell her not to offer the information to anyone.
As suggested, you could send a letter praising her to the agency, as well as bake something nice for her (and tell her to keep quiet about it!)
Love and Prayers
To me, this is a personal between you and the aide.
Do what your heart tells you to do.
As was mentioned below, I did send a letter to the bosses praising her work. It's all I could do.
I don't think it is any of the agencies business if you want to show your gratitude by giving the actual caregivers a TIP or gift. They just want their cut and it isn't for them, they get paid, it is a personal expression to the person that has stepped up and gone the extra mile to ensure that your loved one is receiving excellent care.
That's what I would do.
It IS the agency's business if their aides do not follow the guidelines of their business. What you are suggesting would be a very unkind thing to do to a nice person.