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I would tell her that the agency said no bonuses, so we have to keep our thank you between us. Then give her cash in a card with a copy of the letter that you send to the agency praising her for everything she does and how awesome she is.

I don't think it is any of the agencies business if you want to show your gratitude by giving the actual caregivers a TIP or gift. They just want their cut and it isn't for them, they get paid, it is a personal expression to the person that has stepped up and gone the extra mile to ensure that your loved one is receiving excellent care.

That's what I would do.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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LittleOrchid Nov 25, 2020
This is a really bad idea. You would be risking the aid's job and you are asking her to lie/go against her employment contract. Follow the rules. Write the aide a nice letter.

It IS the agency's business if their aides do not follow the guidelines of their business. What you are suggesting would be a very unkind thing to do to a nice person.
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I don't see anything wrong about giving someone a gift for Christmas.

To me, this is a personal between you and the aide.

Do what your heart tells you to do.
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LittleOrchid Nov 25, 2020
Going against the rules and asking the aide to "keep quiet about it" could put the aide's job at risk. Not at all a nice thing to do to a nice person. Go along with the rules. Write some nice letters. Ask if there is an agency holiday fund you can contribute to, but don't put a nice person in a bad place by asking her to break the rules of her employment.
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I wanted to give the activities director at my mom's place a little something for Christmas last year to thank her for her work in general and because we had something in common (a love of reading). She told me she could lose her job if she accepted anything. That really broke my heart, but I didn't want to endanger her job.

As was mentioned below, I did send a letter to the bosses praising her work. It's all I could do.
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BritishCarer Nov 23, 2020
You could also lend her books, which is what I do with several of the caregivers who look after my wife.
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I have sent Edible Arrangements to places that were helpful to mom and very supportive to me. The day care, the doctor's office and the memory care. It was enjoyed by everyone and healthy! You can even order them chocolate dipped if you want.

Separate aide? Give her what you like and tell her not to offer the information to anyone.
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dds367 Nov 23, 2020
Can't do that m
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Hi,
When my mom was home and we had an aide, we got her a gift card to a local store. She was appreciative.
Now mom is in a NH. I wanted to get something for the staff also. The NH didn't want individual gifts, they wanted something for the staff. I happened to be in their lunchroom and saw a Keurig, I bought them several large boxes of K-Cups and brought in coffee cake the day I delivered it to them. I too thought of giving gift certificates to a local pizza place for a delivery order this year. It is so hard this year as they don't want anything homemade. I may do the k-cups again with a pizza gift certificate.
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Reply to racor65
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Write a letter to her boss saying how wonderful she is. That is very nice of you to consider. I am not allowed to accept gifts and would be very grateful if someone did this. I have to donate any gifts I receive.
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I recently had about 8 weeks of caregiving after surgery. I talked to the manager and he said caregivers (I guess his company) are not allowed to keep money, they have to turn it over to the manager. He also said I could give a gift, like flowers or fruit. He also said I could give gift card. I asked if there was a $$ limit on gift card and he said there wasn't. Now, that was for his company. So check back with the company and get their policy. I believe if there is one outstanding caregiver, it is nice to show appreciation. And I had only one outstanding. The rest were so-so. But I didn't have enough work for them to do, unless I gave them housework, and I found that unnecessary on a daily basis. But this one went out of her way to make me comfortable, I could trust her with my credit card for groceries, and she took measures to help me over a short bout of Covid with her ministrations.
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Reply to JoAnne80
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Check with the caregiver's agency for their rules. Most home health aides make minimum wage; the agency pockets the rest of your money (it is a business and has business expenses). If you truly want to help your caregiver, give her a gift card to local grocery store/department store like Walmart, Target... She can use that gift card to buy groceries or anything she needs. I especially like the idea of giving a gift card specific to that store since there are fees with the credit card-type ones that diminish the actual value.
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Mary9999 Nov 23, 2020
This is the best idea I've read so far... caregivers are typically underpaid for very hard work. After my sister died, I gave each one of the caregivers at the board & care a thank you card with cash inside. I also like the idea of a gift card to Walmart or Target, both places where groceries are sold. Most caregivers have families, and things are probably more difficult during this pandemic, particularly during the holidays.

I wouldn't ask the agency for permission, nor would I tell them.
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I would give the caretaker a Christmas card with a gift inside. This is something for the specific caregiver and it is showing your appreciation for the care they are giving your family member. You don't have to tell the company, and for the company buy them a box of chocolates or fruit.

It is the season and it isn't a bad thing to show your appreciation.
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Reply to MissingCally
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One of the reasons an Agency will make a policy of "no gifts" is there are some clients that can not afford to give gifts of any kind. And there are others that while the person they are caring for may want to give a gift the "purse strings" are held by someone else either court appointed or chosen POA.
It places some caregivers in a situation where they could not receive a gift even if it were allowed.
And then there are the stories where a caregiver is financially taking advantage of the person they are caring for.
Now that said...
I would give the caregivers I hired a Gift Card. the limit was $25.00 (this was to keep it fair to each of them) but I also wrote a letter for each of them that they could use as a reference letter and the ones that worked for an agency I wrote a letter to the agency as well.
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