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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I was surprised and told him not to use my dresser for storage. Im feelin uncomfortable. He has lived with us for two yrs but to me thats over stepping boundaries.
This is one of the many things "we" deal with when we have caregivers come into the house either hourly or live in. Our privacy is being "invaded" and that is a tough concept to accept. If this person has been with you for 2 years he may be feeling a bit "comfortable" and may need an evaluation. Just like most employers give yearly reviews it might be good to sit down and discuss the job. It is good to do this since in the 2 years his tasks have changed. Declines happen and we all have to adjust to new normals. So during your sit down with him discuss areas that are "off limits" and make sure that he understands what your expectations are. And it is a good time to discuss what he can and can't do as your husband continues to decline.
From what you have written it sounds innocent enough. Boundaries are things that have to be articulated because people aren't mind readers, but you've told him now so any future incursions into your space would be breaking boundaries/trust, in my opinion this was not.
Why don't you talk to him about it? Tell him that he is not to open your dresser drawers. If there's a problem with not enough storage for your husband's things in his dresser, the caregiver needs to come and tell you. Or you can put your husband's things away.
Personally, I don't like the idea of a live-in caregiver at a house. Round the clock care is one thing, but not someone living in the house. I was a caregiver for 25 years and am now in the business of it. I never think it's a good idea to let a hired caregiver make a client's home their legal address. I always think it's best to hire more than one person.
I agree with you that the caregiver over-stepped boundaries. Imagine what he goes through when you're not home. I hope you use hidden cameras in your house. If you don't, you should.
The best thing would be to make the boundaries as simple and clear as possible. For instance, if you have the ability to make 1 room strictly off limits, then you can put all sensitive paperwork, medications, clothing, etc in it andmaybe even lock it, or just tell him to never go into that room for any reason. It becomes complicated when he has to remember details, like: you can go into this room, but not this drawer on this side, etc. This also prevents someone from pretending to "forget" the boundaries and stoop (and I'm implying this is what the aid was doing). Or, you can put a sign on certain drawers that say Private. That being said, I also agree that a live-in is not an optimal solution. I would never do it.
You told him now not to use the dresser or when he first started. After two years he should know what he can and can't do. You should not feel uncomfortable in your own home. You need to remember this is a boss/employee relationship. Just tell him since you saw him in your drawer that you need to remind him that is your dresser and to please not use it.
My husband has his own dresser and I have mine. Very easy to know who is whose.
You should invest in cameras if you don’t have them already. And I would never be comfortable with a strange man living in my home caregiver or not never!! Was that your preference?
I am surprised that he has lived with you two years and you feel so uncomfortable about him. Can you explain that a little bit more for me?
As to what places are open for storage by your caretaker, how is it that hasn't been fully discussed with a tour of the premises? Is there adequate storage for him to use otherwise?
It is very difficult to get any idea what is happening here and why it makes you so concerned without a bit more explanation. I do welcome you to the forum, and wish you the best.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Our privacy is being "invaded" and that is a tough concept to accept.
If this person has been with you for 2 years he may be feeling a bit "comfortable" and may need an evaluation. Just like most employers give yearly reviews it might be good to sit down and discuss the job.
It is good to do this since in the 2 years his tasks have changed. Declines happen and we all have to adjust to new normals.
So during your sit down with him discuss areas that are "off limits" and make sure that he understands what your expectations are.
And it is a good time to discuss what he can and can't do as your husband continues to decline.
Personally, I don't like the idea of a live-in caregiver at a house. Round the clock care is one thing, but not someone living in the house. I was a caregiver for 25 years and am now in the business of it. I never think it's a good idea to let a hired caregiver make a client's home their legal address. I always think it's best to hire more than one person.
I agree with you that the caregiver over-stepped boundaries. Imagine what he goes through when you're not home. I hope you use hidden cameras in your house. If you don't, you should.
My husband has his own dresser and I have mine. Very easy to know who is whose.
As to what places are open for storage by your caretaker, how is it that hasn't been fully discussed with a tour of the premises?
Is there adequate storage for him to use otherwise?
It is very difficult to get any idea what is happening here and why it makes you so concerned without a bit more explanation.
I do welcome you to the forum, and wish you the best.