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I started this about 11 months ago, and this woman is a Doll. An Angel actually, she was so appreciative, said "love love love", to me and thanked me always.


The daughter worked downstairs in the independent living facility and this woman the mom, got all the special extra attention from the staff, because now I find out it is all family related.


I thought everything was going very well, and she asked me to help plan her mothers 100th Birthday party, as well as my birthday was a few weeks ago, and she took the time to buy me some very nice smelling soft perfume thanking me for all I did. With a beautiful card thanking me and also, knowing that I went above and beyond.


Sunday, I was to show up at 10:30, and she has said many times, never to call the front desk. She hired me on a private basis. I said ok, I won't and I never did. I was having severe stomach issues, and was in the ER the night before I was to be there, and texted her right away, no response, and my husband then texted her in the am, when we knew I could be there, still without any solution to the pain, but it had subsided some. I even had a back up waiting, but with this daughter, you do not do anything, unless she approves it, and so I called I texted her (no answer) which is very rare and normally she will have the caregiver on duty help her, (and really the only help is prompting her to go to breakfast, lunch and her hair appointment.


I never heard back from her after calling, calling, so I managed to show up at 10:40, and walked in the room, and what I do for this woman is give her quality time, she is already dressed, make breakfast, and then she goes to have her hair done. I texted the daughter again, and apologize, I did everything she said in the case of an emergency, and I was able to spend 2 hours with her mother. She and I discussed if there was an emergency previously, and I could not have followed her plan more perfect. At least I thought so.


I adore her mother, and I know her mother adores me. Come Tuesday for my night shift, I get this text from her at 3:00pm for my 5:00pm shift saying "she does not need me anymore, and has replaced me effective immediately" and I need to turn in my key's immediately and she is going out of town. ON A TEXT.


This mother has wanted me to watch her full time, but her daughter for some reason must feel differently.


Also on many previous weekends, several times (7) she notified me either Thursday or Friday that she was taking her mother out of town and did not need me Friday or Sunday. I was cordial, but felt this was a bit strange to not give me more notice, oh well the life of a caregiver. I am very flexible, as it is all about the families needs.


That was it. I was shocked. Obviously my thoughts were, I was the only caregiver and she the daughter said, I was an outstanding caregiver and I deep cleaned her mothers rest room as it was clear the staff there did not do the best job. I did her laundry, we played games, I was there to be more of a companion, because it was obvious, this woman had the daughter not been working there in marketing would not qualify to be there, as she needed minimal assistance.


So regardless, I am gone, and it feels weird. Because of the close relationship this 99 year old had with me. A relationship that was built over months of being trusted, and respected within the community. This woman who adored me, truly will never see me again.


I know they say don't get attached. But never in my 17 years has that ever happened to me ever. Get let go, let alone fired, and without two weeks notice, and nothing put praise all along.


Just hoping for thoughts. It is a cold cruel world but wow, her mom will wonder where I am, and without a doubt, she will lie to her, as her mom would be crushed to the truth.


I guess it is none of my business.


Should I ask her to pay me a two week severance since I never had a clue at all?

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I am sorry you were treated so poorly after all you did for the mother. I understand how you can become attached to this lady. However, if you did not have a formal Caregiver Agreement signed by you and the daughter and even the mother, there isn’t much you can do. I doubt seriously if you would even get an explanation from the daughter as to why you were so abruptly let go. It’s one of those “live and learn “ situations. Without a caregiver’s contract in place, you aren’t really entitled to much. If there wasn’t one, you pretty much aren’t going to get anything, including severance pay.

Use this as a learning experience. Move on from this.. if you continue with your caregiving profession, in the future make sure you have a Caregiving Agreement signed by all and even drawn up by an attorney and notarized. This way you can avoid this heartache in the future.
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What does your employment contract with the daughter say?
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Just let it go and learn from this experience.
Severance for what? 10 hours a week? If someone gets fired there is no such recourse.
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