I haven't been here for a while, thanks to the fact that my caregiver struggles ended in May with my mother's death. That probably sounds weird, but it was such a long, exhausting road (as it is for so many of us), that I am glad to no longer be so close to aging and dying on a daily basis.

Having said that, I learned last week that my college boyfriend died of pancreatic cancer at 55. It's been 35 years since I've seen him, so I'm hardly grieving, but it's still odd to have peers die. And my dear friend's mother is about to die from pancreatic cancer any day now.

I was not there when my mother died, and I am grateful for that, but I suddenly feel like I want to be a hospice volunteer and help others through this. I know there's a lot of vetting and training that is required, but it's something I want to do. Has anyone else felt this way or pursued this? I know most of the folks here are still in the midst of it in their own lives, so maybe it's not the right group to ask.

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I can understand that, and it's probably the reason why I am on this site and also volunteer to read aloud at our local nursing home. However that's after quite a long break. I would really suggest that you focus for now on putting your own life back together with some new interests. It's probably not a good idea to stay focussed on the very difficult time you have been through so recently.
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Thanks, Margaret. My life is back together. I grieved so much while my mom was ill (for about 2 years) and since she passed (in May), I actually feel a sense of relief, as she had no quality of life and I was a wreck with all the obligations and emotional strain.

Now I have some distance and some free time. My very close friend's mother is dying of pancreatic cancer, and I have other friends and relatives dealing with aging/ill parents. I am helping them as best I can, but I also feel really drawn to the idea of volunteering for hospice. Anyway, I called the place that provided care for my mom today and left a message, so we'll see.
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