It is possible that your Mom is very depressed. There needs to be a reason why she needs to get up and walk. If she is in pain, try and take care of the pain. If she is overweight, it is possible that it is very difficult for her to walk. Could she be taking medicine that is affecting her balance? Could there be a medical reason why she prefers to lay in bed instead of getting up? Have you talked to her PCP?
Walking also requires balance as well as strength of the abs and legs. The longer she doesn't use them, the weaker they will be. Can she sit up or is it difficult for her to sit up?
If this person just lays in bed and uses disposable undergarments to catch her urine (and feces?), she will need to be changed and cleaned up at least five times a day, and to have a barrier cream applied to her bottom skin to prevent a rash. She will need to turn on her sides to help prevent bed sores. It sounds like she may have mobility issues, pain, mental decline, or she is just giving up. If you have the time and energy you/or hired help could assist her every few hours to the bathroom. Over the years, I have known several people to give up and stay in bed. They all lived five more years.
What medical diagnosis does this person have. If this is a person with dementia it is very possible that she can not get put of bed, can not walk. If this is a person with mobility problems (as mentioned in your profile) are you helping her get out of bed? It is possible that the use of equipment might make it easier to get her out of bed. Safer for you as well as her. It is also possible that this person is n o longer continent so it would be up to you to get her up every 2 hours to the bathroom and assist with toileting and cleaning. If a decline like this is not something you are ready to take on I suggest getting caregivers in that can help or looking for a facility that will meet her care needs.
You don’t it’s a deeply personal decision. I watched my wife die. She could have easily prolonged her life if she would do the exercises. Multiple attempts failed because the therapist put it all on me. And I did not want to be the one to cause pain. So Much of it is all in the mind and desire to live.
Get her up out of the bed every morning. Make her sit at the table for all meals. If need be, take all the linen off the bed so he/she can not just sleep/lay around all day. Try a toileting schedule - making her use the commode/bathroom every 2-3 hours while she is awake. You will need to be kind but firm.
You are not providing us any information - Who is this person? What is the diagnosis? What is your relationship to this person? What experience do you have working with a person disabled (be it dementia or other health concerns/issues) Has this person been diagnosed ? for dementia, depression, addiction? How old is this person? physical disabilities?
I am perplexed as to why you ask us without providing pertinent information to respond with any possible intelligent supportive suggestion or comment. In other words, if you were the one laying in bed and depending on diapers (which are depends "disposable underwear), would you want more information provided to us on how to care / work with you?
I am caring for my mother Jaynie, who is 85 years old, living at home with age-related decline, depression, diabetes, mobility problems, and vision problems.
About Me I love my mom. I want her to get out of bed and go to the bathroom! She just stays in bed and uses diapers.
Maybe have the 'talk' with her. It's getting to be too much for dad to handle so if she wants to remain in the home, she needs to put forth some effort to keep walking. Ask her doctor to order some physical (legs) and occupational (upper body) therapy in the home. Tell home health that you want to start with one or other other and then move to the next when medicare says she's had all of the first one they'll pay for. Having someone come in may help with motivation - some folks like to show others what they are capable of doing that they won't do for family.
If she's not interested in doing more, ask her what she wants to do when she really can't get out of bed anymore and dad unable to physically lift her. Does she want to go look at some facilities for care? Does she have money to hire help for herself? Let her think about it.
Unfortunately this doesn't always work. My mother hates to wear them and she has a problem with "hurrying" to the bathroom. She gets home from a car trip and needs to urinate but by time she gets in the door it's running down her leg. In this example, how do you get her to wear them? She doesn't seem to care if she wets herself because her husband just goes along with it and helps her clean up. It is frustrating!
You may not be able to. This is something to discuss with MD as this may now be where "she is at". You may need to accept that. Much depends upon your elders diagnosis, age, prognosis, underlying problems; these all come into play later more than just "motivation".
Discuss your loved one's current status with the MD as soon as you are able. This is a question of whether rehab and PT will help or if you are now being faced with comfort care and acceptance. Sorry for all you are both facing and wish you much good luck.
Sadly the longer she lays in the bed, the less likely it will be that she'll ever be able to walk again, especially at her age. Since you don't mention any dementia in your profile, I can only assume that your mom suffers from depression. Is she being treated for that? If not you may want to start there. Also you can try putting a bedside commode close to her bed so she doesn't have to travel far or risk falling. She may be more open to that.
When it comes to a mind in decline, who can know for sure what drives them to do certain things. But one thing is pretty certain: depression doesn't help. Heck, it makes lots of younger people want to stay in bed. Getting her assessed for mood meds will help her. Dementia robs people of their abilities to use reason and logic, and therefore they are less and less able to get themselves into a better mindset. She now needs help to do that. Then maybe she'll be more willing to toilet herself on her own, and maybe participate other activities as well.
Well good grief, that sounds like me since this May. Mom mouns and makes a fuss getting up with her stroller to go to the bathroom. Always calls me to be there.
So our PCA got her to go and taught me to not respond so quickly, wait outside the door. Tell her I will be there if you fall, but I cannot be next to for every toileting exercise. You must be firm. My mother has been playing me for attention, maybe yours too ?????
Also, I want to add, her primary care physician got her on Zoloft, and anti-depressant, after about 10 days, her mood changed and she got out of bed to toilet more often.
calmoseptine ointment for barrier cream.
Walking also requires balance as well as strength of the abs and legs. The longer she doesn't use them, the weaker they will be. Can she sit up or is it difficult for her to sit up?
((HUGS))
If this is a person with dementia it is very possible that she can not get put of bed, can not walk.
If this is a person with mobility problems (as mentioned in your profile) are you helping her get out of bed?
It is possible that the use of equipment might make it easier to get her out of bed. Safer for you as well as her.
It is also possible that this person is n o longer continent so it would be up to you to get her up every 2 hours to the bathroom and assist with toileting and cleaning.
If a decline like this is not something you are ready to take on I suggest getting caregivers in that can help or looking for a facility that will meet her care needs.
Who is this person?
What is the diagnosis?
What is your relationship to this person?
What experience do you have working with a person disabled (be it dementia or other health concerns/issues)
Has this person been diagnosed ? for dementia, depression, addiction?
How old is this person? physical disabilities?
I am perplexed as to why you ask us without providing pertinent information to respond with any possible intelligent supportive suggestion or comment.
In other words, if you were the one laying in bed and depending on diapers (which are depends "disposable underwear), would you want more information provided to us on how to care / work with you?
I am caring for my mother Jaynie, who is 85 years old, living at home with age-related decline, depression, diabetes, mobility problems, and vision problems.
About Me
I love my mom. I want her to get out of bed and go to the bathroom! She just stays in bed and uses diapers.
If she's not interested in doing more, ask her what she wants to do when she really can't get out of bed anymore and dad unable to physically lift her. Does she want to go look at some facilities for care? Does she have money to hire help for herself? Let her think about it.
This is something to discuss with MD as this may now be where "she is at". You may need to accept that. Much depends upon your elders diagnosis, age, prognosis, underlying problems; these all come into play later more than just "motivation".
Discuss your loved one's current status with the MD as soon as you are able. This is a question of whether rehab and PT will help or if you are now being faced with comfort care and acceptance. Sorry for all you are both facing and wish you much good luck.
Since you don't mention any dementia in your profile, I can only assume that your mom suffers from depression. Is she being treated for that? If not you may want to start there.
Also you can try putting a bedside commode close to her bed so she doesn't have to travel far or risk falling. She may be more open to that.
So our PCA got her to go and taught me to not respond so quickly, wait outside the door. Tell her I will be there if you fall, but I cannot be next to for every toileting exercise. You must be firm. My mother has been playing me for attention, maybe yours too ?????
Also, I want to add, her primary care physician got her on Zoloft, and anti-depressant, after about 10 days, her mood changed and she got out of bed to toilet more often.
Just some ideas.