I take a portion of my mother's social security for household expenses. Is this okay to do?

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My mother has dementia and had to move in with me. She is still able to make decisions about her finances. I take a portion of her ss for household expenses. I documented how much more it costs her being here. Is this ok to do like for instance more groceries eating out etc.?

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My Mom still had her house. Her bank statement showed all the bills that were paid. Medicaid goes back five years with statements. Mon received a small pension ($200) a month. I used this for anything she needed, Depends, toiletries, buying soup for her, clothing and her medications. I kept receipts for each month with the total of $200 on the outside of the envelope. If there was money left over, I rolled it to the next month. After going thru all this, I realized I could have used the checkbook summary booklet. Already has the debit and credits. (I don't do spreadsheets) Medicaid didn't ask for the info but I have it in case. Also, nice to have if a family member questions you.
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GOBSMACKED MEANS WHENEVER YOU WOULD HIT YOURSELF IN FOREHEAD BECAUSE WHAT IS BEING SAID IS SOOOOO SSSTTTUUUUPPPPIIIIDDD

In my country we know what it means - when you see someone SMACK themselves in the head because something was said that was so idiotic [you know you have seen this many times] either by themselves or by someone else then that's GOBSMACKED -

I won't even go where you guys jump over hoops over the way your health care is mismanaged - you all say 'may', 'what if', 'if', etc without anyone really knowing what the rules are - GET THEM IN WRITING & DON'T GUESS - why can't there be clear rules? -

I can't even comment further because there isn't anyone who knows the real regulations nor will anyone check this & get it in writing - not going to where you live any time soon & I'm not alone
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Yes; literally, "smacked in the mouth." The expression, which is very mildly vulgar (you wouldn't say it to your great-grandmother), invites a visualisation of dumbfounded surprise. Such as one might feel if one politely asked a waiter for a spoon and was told "get it yerself" or returned to one's correctly parked car to find a handwritten note under the wiper blade that read "how did an a***hole as big as you get into a space as small as this?" - which also makes one blush to the roots of one's hair, I can tell you.

I never did work out what had so offended the note-leaver.
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Gobsmacked= astonished, astounded

You can gift without tax consequences up to a certain amount, but you can NOT gift without consequences from Medicaid. Medicaid will look at all financials for the past 5 years and may count even $50 gifts to kids or grandkids against the person. If your parent can pay for 6 years, and during the last 5, not give any money "away" from Medicaid's standpoint, that is a good situation to be in.
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What does "gobsmacked" mean?
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moecam: Oh, yea, I am definitely not gobsmacked.
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There is a financial look back for medicaid - typically 5 years but check for your particular state, In general, for that period of time, mom's finances have to be accounted for, and to prevent penalties, to be used only for her care. Thus, while it is legitimate for her to be contributing to her expenses while in your home, it is necessary, for the purposes of medicaid, to document that. They will want proof. It might be wise for you to meet with an elder attorney (at mom's expense) who is familiar with medicaid to understand all the issues and see that they are covered. It is important to have a good accounting of expenses, receipts for expenditures, and reimbursements etc. I believe that Mom is allowed to gift a certain amount a year without penalty. As her caregiver, you could have a contract drawn up by the lawyer for payment to you for the care you give. This may be the furthest thing from your mind and many of us care give for free, but it is a legitimate expense.

The important thing is to be well informed, so there will be no nasty surprises in the future should mom need medicaid. Good luck.
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She has enough money to pay for about 6 years in nursing home so how would this affect Medicaid if she needed help after that
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If she is still mentally competent, and capable of making her own disshion I don't see a problem as long as she agreed to that's what the money is for. If you're feeling bad about taking the money because she's your mother, your not taking anything she's paying for her needs .
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LL - we don't have such a system in my country - but surely if cheques are made out as 'RENT' or 'ROOM AND BOARD' then this should be okay - otherwise did she just reappear from place unknown that has free room & board? - it should be any extra expense should be paid by the one getting the help - this should include a 'senior sitter' for at least 2 hours a week so shopping, caretakers dr app't, going to gym or what ever is needed - you're not going to take advantage of your mom but you have needs too

FYI - I spend $2347.87 [$1760.90 US] per month for my mom in nursing home which includes private room[they provide hospital bed], food, laundry, nursing [she's diabetic etc], housekeeping, physio & recreation - meds are extra but most are paid by government so last year I paid just under $200.00 [$150.00 US] - total for year was $21,280.80 US [tax deductable too!] excluding clothes & new wheelchairs etc

You guys gobsmack me with having to bend over backwards to not pay anything that seems justified as living expenses because you're running scared about what these people are going to okay - are there no clear guidelines? - everyone says 'but what happens if ', 'she may be denied', 'if', 'may', 'perhaps' - go find out from those who know & get all your information from official sources -

Otherwise you are impoverishing yourself supplimenting your mom & what will happen to you? - can you charge for your labour? .. probably not but ask because even 2 hours a day will add up & there is no way that's all you'll be working - otherwise the nursing home will be getting money that you deserved long ago because you were too scared to ask the right people & I bet they won't give it back when you find out what you should be entitled to all along

GET THE CORRECT INFORMATION FROM THE RIGHT PEOPLE - go in person, get the person's name, employee # & as much documentation as you can - I'd put my cell phone on audio record to be able to show who gave you what information [& DON'T TELL THEM YOU'RE DOING IT] - then if they try to change something you have proof of what you were told & when - maybe do it 2 times to be sure they are saying same thing but use different office to get a different person & if they say the same thing you will know BUT IF DIFFERENT insist on clarification
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