I resent being the sole caregiver for my grandparents. How do I get past the resentment I feel toward the rest of my family?

Sadly that can be family. One with a heart ( you) and the rest selfish. Please look up resources and ask about hiring help with their income.
also contact visiting church programs and see if there are adult day care or senior centers .
sadly grandparents have their fantasy of their favorite children , when even they aren’t appreciative, it is time to arrange other care givers

That is absolutely terrible. I am so sorry you are struggling. You are not being appreciated at all! Not even by your grandma! Is there a local church or senior center you can call and ask for some extra help? Remember you have the right to say no sometimes. Don’t let others treat you like a doormat. Ask outside of your family for extra help. If they don’t like it well you may have put up certain boundaries up to save your own sanity.

I started reading all the replies. Seems all but one says variations of 'arrange more help &/or arrange non-family help'.

So I think that's how you get past the resentment. By changing what you are doing.

Accepting you need the help. Arranging the help.

Alternatively you could take the advice of that one who disagreed I suppose, the one who said be a 'willing martyr'.
Don't think that will lessen any resentment though - probably increase it then cause you to collapse from fatigue.

In a nutshell: change or collapse.

LacisMom: Perhaps your grandparents will have to opt for managed care facility living as you've apparently reached burnout stage

It sounds to me like you need to STOP doing what you are doing.
There is no winning in this situation for ANYONE.
It is heart wrenching.
You need to get out of the situation you have taken on.
Stop taking responsibility.
Either your grandparent's adult child/ren manage their parents' care and needs or the state will.
The question you need to answer is what quality of life do you want?
Are you willing to lose everything - money, quality time, family, health?
These are not easy questions to answer. Although you must make decisions that ultimately serve you in the long run. You are in a 'no win' situation.
Call authorities and see if there are any legal remedies to assist with the care of your grandparents. I am concerned that you are not taking care of yourself and perhaps not willing to - putting your grandparents first. What then will happen to you? You are already filled with resentment and anger.
How much more can you take?
and why would you?
You must develop self-esteem and feel self-worth to put yourself first.
Get professional help. You must change - no matter how difficult this is.

Just tell your family you are DONE, as long as your Mom is getting proper care where she lives. SHE IS OUT OF HER MIND! She would say the SAME things to other caregivers so while you are with her, just look at her and think she is out of her mind and cannot help it.
You do not need to carry this load by yourself! Trust me, you will here from ALL of them when she dies. A family is never as ugly as when someone dies. I went through this with my family.
The main thing is to realize if she is left alone at a facility, she will be OK. Her memory will not let her remember anything from the day before. You can have peace, you were always the one to do what was needed. In other words, you did your part! Over and beyond, I might add.
Whatever you do, don't feel guilty about anything after your mother dies. I believe in God, and I believe she will go to Heaven. When she does, she will be completely well and will know you were the one who made the difference in her life. She does not want you to have any regrets about her!
Hold your head up high Girl and know you did great!

It’s not your obligation to take care of your grandmother. Where is your grandmothers daughter (your mother?) in this scenario? Seems to me she should be stepping up to plate

Sounds like you are being exploited by your entire family. I would tell your grandmother you can’t help anymore. She needs to explore other options.

Go out and live your life.

How did this become your responsibility, if Grandma has children that are alive and well? I read that you are a single mother of three. Did you move in with grandma because you needed a place to stay? I don't understand how this became your responsibility unless you needed granny for something. If that is not the case and you jumped in to help Grandma because no one else would, then I can definitely understand your resentment. If you moved in because you needed room and board for you and your three children, the aunts probably think taking care of grandma is in exchange for your family living there. Only you can decide if that is worth it...because it is a hard, non stop, unforgiving job to be a 24/7 caregiver.

I f I am misunderstanding the situation, please offer more info.

Hello,

I have not been on this forum for long, but I share a similar situation to yours. See my questions and replies.

Pay no attention to the replies where people are doing scrutinizing every single word you type from previous posts months back and comparing them to recent posts. Then trying to catch you out to see if your story has changed. The worst thing is other members of the forum actually considering them helpful answers.

** This forum is for considerate, constructive, and supportive help to everyone on any question, period! **

I had a great reply from bundleofjoy recently on one of my questions and that's the sort people need to hear. Just check my question to see the reply from bundleofjjoy. It is really useful advice.

Hang in there, be strong, consider this as validation to your worries.

Love & Peace.

Remember: You chose your circumstances they didn't choose you.