I recently obtained POA for Mom. Does my brother have any legal rights to see the POA and be making financial decisions on her behalf?

I don't see any reason based on your facts to keep the POA documents from him. Don't let him near the original. Of course, the POA should be well drafted and not contain ambiguities or possibilities for confusion. Explain to him how a financial POA works. If your mother has not named him in the document, he has no power over her assets. If he doesn't want to listen to you, hire the attorney who drafted the POA to speak (by phone or Zoom) with him. If he is abusive, don't leave him alone with your mother. Also, if she is still competent help her arrange for any estate planning she hasn't done. She needs a will, a durable medical POA, and advanced directives. Depending on her state, she most likely doesn't need a trust (be quiet, Suze Orman). She should review any paid on death or transfer on death accounts to make sure she has living beneficiaries named. I strongly urge that she go with you to any meeting with the lawyer if possible. You want to avoid any hint of undue influence. I also agree with several people here that you forgo your commission and perhaps have another real estate company handle the sale. This loses you and your mother money but with an angry and paranoid person on your tails it might be worth it.

You have gotten lots of great information here.

I am POA and just to shut your brother up you can certainly show him the POA. Two pages in he will go cross eyed.

I don't think you did anything wrong in selling the house and taking 1% commission. As her agent you should have proof of what was spent out of your pocket in selling the home. I sold my parents home but I did use an agent.

He is not going to hire a lawyer in my opinion. He is threatening you. Once he finds out the cost he would probably back off.

I make sure every purchase I make for my Mom is trackable, I am a huge fan of Amazon. My Dad recently passed away and I made sure everything was transferred to my Mom.

I am always sad to read posts like this. He could try helping with his Mom, not disappoint her with greedy behavior

I have dealt with the exact same thing that you are going through. My brother refused to help with moms care or to maintain her home, but as soon as there was money involved, he got all indignant. I would go to an elder lawyer and set up a trust with moms money from the sale of her home. Then set up a second account as the trustee to the trust. Whenever moms rent is due at assisted living, as trustee you will move money from the trust into the separate account and pay her rent from there. Everything is traceable and trackable.

You get to see peoples true colors when the chips are down...but my guess is you already knew this about your brother. I certainly knew it about mine.

My advice is to continue to make good decisions and care for your mom and ignore your brother. If he has the money and the gall to haul you to court, just take all of your documentation and simply tell the judge that things are being managed for your mom and your brother is unaware of all the details because he has chosen not to assist.

You don't work for your brother. He has three options...he can help and therefore be in the loop, he can say thank you for all that you are doing or he can shut the hell up.

No, not if you're the POA. He can't touch anything. I'm my dad's POA and my dad's lawyer told my sister she has no right to do anything. She would have to talk to me.

If you have a power of attorney for financial affairs, you have the right to act on your mother's behalf. As for your brother "seeing the original," I would have him contact the lawyer that wrote up the POA to see it. He does not have the right to anything else involving your mother's finances. Keeping him in the loop is nice but not necessary. If he threatens you or your mother, file a restraining order with the local authorities. You might also want to contact the lawyer that wrote the POA for advise on legal matters pertaining to this situation.

About the realtor issue some have raised:
I, personally, would not take my cut of the proceeds. Just itemize and reimburse my costs in promoting, etc. Then tell my brother and anyone else they can have their share of my profit, which will be ZERO.

You could be accused of being in a conflict of interest position. To avoid future problems related to that, list the house with a realtor, not with the same company you work for.

San42756: No, he doesn't have any rights as YOU are Power of Attorney, not him.

If you are POA you owe him nothing. Keep all receipts in case she runs out of money and needs Medicaid. You can see a lawyer. You can legally get paid for your time . Lawyer can help you with that.

I have run into similar situations. It is sad, but I would run it pass am attorney. I believe you owe him nothing but an attorney can help guide you. Plus I would let him take you to court. So many just shoot ther months with no bite. Blessings

Let him waste his money and move forward with your decision. These lazy, waiting for inheritance people….urge!! Being the realtor and receiving commission, if you choose, is not unethical or against the law. Neither is paying yourself, if you choose, for your time and expenses for gas. Somebody hired would get the pay.

See an elder care attorney to make sure your realty situation is on the up and up. That screams sketch y to me. Once things are in order, tell brother to go get his attorney and really you to court if that's what he feels he's gotta do and he'll be paying not only his attorney but all court costs as well as yours because you will not allow your mom to pay for such ridiculousness.

the first thing is to talk with an elder care lawyer about your situation - that person can advise you as to your local/state requirements. You might also talk with your local department of aging about your situation. Make sure you have a copy of whatever documents you have - POA, Will; ETC - preferably one with actual signature. Your brother can make any threats he wants, but that does mean he can get anywhere. I would tell him to talk with your lawyer about what he wants and let the lawyer respond. Telling him that will probably make him back off, but don't let him intimidate you. He sounds like a bully,

Self enrichment in the context of POA means paying (or otherwise materially rewarding yourself) for acting as POA. It doesn't stop you claiming legitimate fees or expenses for goods and services that have in fact been provided.

But I agree that there probably are relevant ethical guidelines, and I'd suggest asking whichever professional body the OP belongs to what they are for realtors.

And whatever else - the brother does NOT get half the fee for sitting on his behind and whining about it!!!

No. He has no right whatsoever to this information.

a) It is confidential. If your mother had wanted it made available to him she could have said so at any time.
b) Your mother gave you power of attorney so that you could manage her decisions for her. If she had wanted your brother either to do this or to be involved in, for example, monitoring financial activity, again she had every opportunity to say so.

The tempting response would be "eff off a.hole" but don't be tempted. If he wants to see the POA documentation it might save a lot of trouble just to send him a copy, but he has no right to the rest of it. You are certainly accountable for your actions as POA - and professionally no doubt as a realtor - but you are not accountable to *him*.

Make sure EVERYTHING is properly documented and recorded. People with real authority may come asking legitimate questions and you want to be ready regardless of any steps your brother does or doesn't take.

What does the will say? Most children all benefit from a parents estate when they die.
The only way I would put him an a P.O.A. is if it states his SPECIFIC duties and decision making. You both need to go to a lawyer and hash this out.
Mountain girl had the best advice. You can't let emotions carry the day. All kids are entitled to their parents estate if it is the parents request. If no will, the TWO of you need to sit down with a lawyer, and take your parent to speak about her will. Our lawyer said that my Dad may have had dementia, but he knows what his heart wants.

The only red flag I see is you acting as the realtor in selling your Mum's home.

That is a definite conflict of interest. If you were not Mum's POA, it is just bad taste to benefit financially as her daughter, but as POA you have a fiduciary responsibility to not profit from your POA duties.

I suggest you talk to the lawyer who drew up the POA documents and figure out how to fix this asap.

I was in the same situation, was POA, sought legal advice, and was told that I don't have to share any financial information and could make independent financial decisions. I was also advised to keep track of all expenses (within reason) to ensure there were no claims of financial irregularity.
With that said, I wanted to maintain an amicable relationship with my brother so agreed to the following:
1. I would send him a quarterly review of the finances. I just take a picture of statements.
2. As there were other incidental costs outside of the cost of care, I would pay myself $250 a month for incidentals. This covers things like her clothes, favorite foods, etc. As these are usually small amounts, it was easier for me to just pay these, rather than track everything down to the dollar.
3. I provided him with a forecast on how long her money would last and what would happen if she ran out of money. I did this as I wanted him to realize that care is incredibly expensive and it is unlikely he will get any large inheritance. We have already spent over $200k on care and any inheritance is dwindling quickly.
I put all of this in writing and had it notarized.

In regards to getting commission for selling your mother's house. He has no right to say anything providing you are paying yourself a market recognized commission. You are doing your job, for which you are trained. You will do a better job than anyone else selling your mom's house as you love your mother and want the best for her. You can seek legal advice, but legally you have a right to work, do your job, and get paid accordingly. I can guarantee your mother would have selected you as her agent if she wasn't moving into memory care.

Your mother is alive so neither you nor your brother have inherited anything yet. Your mother gave you POA to allow you, and you alone, to handle her finances for her. You have a fiduciary obligation to her. He does not. You can sell the house or whatever without consulting him. He would lose in court. No good attorney would take it to court.

I recommend that you keep really good records. My uncle was like this with my mother about my grandmother, but after she passed. My grandmother disinherited him, because he had zero interest in seeing her or doing anything with her. He tried to contest the will, but it was ironclad. Also international law came into play and since she passed in the US, US law applied.

Make sure to track expenditures and income carefully, and maybe have someone do the taxes. Having a program like Quicken or even a written ledger or spreadsheet would help.

Have the attorney who prepared the POA ensure its legality and explain the brother wants to contest your authority under the POA.

Organization is the key. Also, remind brother that the funds are not his, but his mother’s money and intended for her support and maintenance. There is no guarantee that there will be anything remaining once she passes. If he sues, he will need a good reason to sue, because he hasn’t done anything to care for her in the last 5 years and doesn’t know her situation. It will be his own money he is spending and why does he want to waste hers, because that is what will happen? Who will he sue? You? His mother? Can you sit down with him and your mother and show him where the money is going and what the plan is? Can you ask him to step up and do some work? Can your mother tell him to bug off or is she not able to do that? Were you able to get a medical mental competency when the POA was prepared? Sometimes that can do an end-run around any contesting.

It is too bad he is so confrontational. He doesn’t know how expensive, hard, frustrating and time consuming caregiving can be when obstacles like the ones he is throwing up are there.

I am sorry for your struggle and wish you the best.

Let him get a lawyer. Judge would throw out. Obviously a bully scare tactic. You legally do not have to make him privy to anything.

You have enough on your plate trying to help your mother. Very sorry he is adding to your stress. From experience, when your Mother is gone, you will feel good that you did everything possible for her.

You are teaching your children how to care for an elderly parent.

If you are realtor and get a commission, you may be opening door to investigation by Adult Protective Services. Probably not as they are grossly understaffed and underpaid. If it were my mother, I would take no commission to be on safe side.

You really need to check your state laws on a POA doing anything that enriches or benefits them personally.

You getting a commission on you selling moms house as POA could be an issue. An attorney, preferably a CELA, can guide you through the process and how to do this legally. Probably the same attorney that drew up the document can help.

I am so sorry that your brother is being a jerk and making this difficult situation worse.

Too many people do not understand the cost of care. What would it hurt to show him financial statements (bank accounts dwindling, etc)? It is possible you being her POA and her realtor could be a conflict of interest - that's about the only thing that could/might create a problem for you. Let him know what the cost per month will be when she moves into assisted living.

Once house is sold, you will need to keep very good records from deposit of sale and monthly expenses for her care to avoid problems with him and/or medicaid (if she runs out of money).

As long as you stay on the up-and-up with how her monies are spent now and in the future, you should be able to survive the scrutiny of any atty that he decides to hire in the future regarding his claims about you.

You have POA. He has been zero help to you for the last 5 years and is now showing up because he wants money. Tell him to go pound sand. I’m sure there is some lawyer out there who will take his case and charge him a fortune to lose. I would point out to him that you will vigorously defend yourself in court if need be and when he loses, and he will lose, you will be countersuing for the payment of your legal fees. So not only will he get nothing, he will be left with less than nothing.

No. He does not have a legal right to be told, shown, or kept in the loop about anything unless he too is named as a POA.
He cannot make any decisions on your mother's "behalf" if you are the one who has her legal POA to make her financial and healthcare decisions. Your brother has no legal right to anything while your mother lives and your POA is valid.
POA expires when a person passes away though. If your brother is named in the will as an heir, he will have a right to whatever his inheritance is if all of the money and proceeds from assets did not go to the care facility.
Unless his name is on the POA documents, you do not have to show him anything or explain anything to him.
He is as they say, blowing it out of his a$$ because there is nothing he can legally do.
You however can make your life a whole lot easier and show him your paperwork. You should. Make him a copy to refer to for the next time he wants to run his mouth and make threats.

You need badly now to see an elder law attorney. Do not take advice on a forum about financial, medical nor legal things. Recently a commenter here named "Bobby" said we often neglect to say this at the TOP of our response. So consider it said. I am concerned how much you don't understand about being a POA while you are acting as one.
That said, no, in my humble opinion, he has no rights, but that doesn't mean he can't make accusations without any basis in fact. He can accuse you of elder financial abuse and take you to court. Your Mom's estate, as you are now managing it, pays the costs IF/WHEN you win. He has ZERO right to her financials and in fact YOU have a FIDUCIARY DUTY to your Mom; YOU have NO RIGHT to share her information without her competently given permission. As your Mom is not competent you cannot get a competent permission to share.
YOU should not be the realtor in this sale. PERIOD. Any commission you would get as realtor is self-enrichment on your Mom.
You badly need to see an elder law attorney. Again, you cannot guess on these things. The Fiduciary duty of being POA is considered by the court almost a sacred duty. Not knowing is not enough of a defense.
While you are serving as Financial POA have you been keeping meticulous records of every penny in and every penny out? Files? Can you law these before an APS person who comes to investigate you if your bro reports you? If so they will tell him he has no case and advise him against suit almost certainly. Again, hire a realtor. Sell at best price. Get your Mom great care, and be proud of your service to your Mom. Tell bro to go pound sand. That not only WILL you not show him anything, but you would be violating your POA to share your Mom's personal information with him.
And no, of course he doesn't get a penny. You could be sent to jail for giving your Mom's money to your brother. And for taking it yourself.
If you don't know that, then, again, it is very important you see a lawyer to understand your duty as POA before you go any farther in all of this. SEE A LAWYER.
I agree with JoAnn that there is no harm in showing him the POA. But check that out with the attorney as well. But I REALLY agree with her that you do NOT have a right to be the realtor on this.

I see no problem in proving you have POA. All you need to show him is the part where Mom has assigned you, her signature and the witnesses signatures. You don't need to show the body of the document unless you want to prove you have the right to sell Moms house. Do not show him an original, copy only. He could tear an original up.

I do see a conflict of interest in you being the realtor. But, your brother is not entitled to any of your commission. You really don't need to take ur share just let it go towards the proceeds of the house. Make sure you get Market Value in case Mom needs medicaid in the next 5 years. Place the proceeds in separate account. Never co-mingle ur money with hers. Always have a paper trail. Pay her bills by check. This way her bank statement will show money going in and out. If you purchase things for her on ur credit card or out of pocket, write yourself a check once a month keeping the receipts in an envelope with the check # and date on outside.

I love it when people come out of the woodwork when they think there is money to be had. As said, brother can get nothing until Mom passes and then that is determined by the Will. Hope ur the Executor. Your POA actually does not allow you to reveal Moms financial status. You can say everything is fine but do not need to reveal any particulars. You represent your Mom, if she wouldn't tell him either should you. In my opinion, her paperwork may have been in a drawer but that does not give him the right to go thru it.
Always remember... as the POA your Mom has put you in charge. I did get a brother involved when I needed to make a big decision but in the end as POA I made the final decision good or bad.

Let brother get a lawyer, its not cheap. He could override ur POA by trying to become Moms guardian but again not cheap to get. And he really gains nothing if he thinks he is entitled to the piece of the pie. Because as guardian he reports to the State. He must show that Moms money is being used for her care. In an AL she is going to put out 60k to over 100k depending on where u live. A NH at least 10k a month. So not much left over for an inheritance. If Mom eventually needs Medicaid, there will be no inheritance.

Let him call APS. You are only responsible for her money once your POA came into effect. Actually, this could be a good thing on ur part because you will prove to them that Moms money is being used for Mom. Next time he tries to complain they will investigate but figure he is a trouble maker.

Call brothers bluff. Tell him "do what you have to do". Let him pay a lawyer to only find out that you have done everything on the up and up. That there is nothing he can do because he is not entitled to anything until his Mom passes.

My SIL was her Moms POA. She was able to sell her Moms house for a pretty good price. After closing her sister asked her when she was getting her share of the proceeds. My SIL told her "Mom is not dead and its her money for her care." Really, you have to winder about the way people think.

" I am staying with her until her house sells and then she is going to live with me until there is an opening in assisted living."

I read your profile and previous post. You've been staying with your mother 2 weeks out of every month, and you state that your marriage is breaking down (you wrote this last month).

Are you sure you are ready to have your mother live with you until there is an opening in Memory Care?

You mention a sister who also does nothing. How is it that you became the one who went to live with your mother for 2 weeks out of every month?

Are you also the Executrix of your mother's will, or successor trustee of her trust? Does her will split everything equally between you and your siblings? Does your mother have the funds to afford Memory Care? How long are the waitlists?

I feel there is one point of contention in your comment "he found out that I recently obtained POA".
After 5 years, one must ask why this wasn't arranged/discussed at the outset when mother may have had more of her faculties to make the appointment with some conviction.

Of course you have been making sacrifices to care for her, but perhaps raising this with your complacent siblings prior, and using this argument to support your intention to become POA, could have been better received or at least given them right of reply. They would be feeling you have gone behind their backs (conveniently ignoring your contribution, no doubt!).

Since mother may not have been of sound mind, it does raise concerns, and despite your being the caregiver (albeit at the behest of your father), it isn't quite the same thing as the appointment dictates.
The tricky thing is how you managed to legally manage your mother's affairs before you obtained POA - and this may be the essence of brother's protestation.

I certainly don't believe you have taken advantage of the situation, but it is important to follow due process and meticulous records need to be kept for any impending inquiry - including the 5 years beforehand where your authority may come under scrutiny.

The issue over commission is valid - not that you owe him half, but it may be wise to engage a different agent to objectively obtain market value without blurring the lines. For instance, if you sold your own house, would you consider the commission as yours and not added to the proceeds of sale? The link to family makes this a delicate area to navigate.

While I agree that you can dig your heels in and stand firm (and I wouldn't blame you for that either), it may only be inflaming the situation.
As family, I think they are entitled to a copy of POA, and in a show of good faith, it would be helpful to advise house sale receipt (would mother have divulged this information in happier times?) and any significant financial changes that have been made - accountability should provide reassurance.

There is a certain duality in being POA - as family, you want to do the best you can to ease the burden; but as POA, you are an agent selflessly and objectively acting as mother would have done were she capable, irrespective of the conduct of her children.

Yes, he can sit on the roof and blow smoke, but that doesn’t make him a chimney.

And saying that “he is going to get a lawyer” reveals that his threats are hot air.

Thanks to his boundless boldness, he has lost the courtesy of the information he has threatened you to get.

This is not IN ANY WAY an unusual situation, as tragic as that seems.

In MY area, legal fees for this kind of “problem” are the responsibility of the patient. Wing cared for, so the ultimate result of Bro’s blathering is actually REDUCING HIS CUT.

DON’T ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE VICTIMIZED. Take care of your mom and her affairs, and yourself.

Bro will ultimately get what he deserves.