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Older sister has put my mom in assisted living home without her consent. My mom is getting stages of Alzheimer’s and she basically tricked my mom signing everything over to her! And how I found out, my mother called me one day from a nursing home. I didn’t even know my sister did that and the other thing is my sister did not put me on the visitation list nor my kids so the nursing home said I cannot visit my mother unless my sister puts me on the forms. Me and my sister do not have a relationship, she has always been jealous of me and my mom’s relationship. My mom is my best friend and my sister has been jealous for years. She even tricked my mom into putting her house in her name. My mom thought it was in my name as well, my mom didn’t think my sister was capable of being so hateful. My mom calls me crying everyday. I don’t know what to do, it breaks my heart that my sister is money hungry. She thinks she will sell my mom's house. I’m losing my mind. I miss my mom.

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How do you know what your mother is telling you is true, if mom has dementia?

Hadn't you better call the AL and ask what the visiting hours are and go see your mom?

Before you go off on your sister, find out if what mom is telling you in in fact true. Perhaps call the social worker at the home and find out what has been arranged for mom.
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Ummm ? I found out by going to the home I wasn’t allowed in they said my sister put no one on the list but her ! The home didn’t even know she had another daughter till I showed up . Second my mom has stages of showing signs of Alzheimer’s she forgets things doesn’t make up things . And the house is public information so that’s how I found out .
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If you believe your mother - remember she has dementia and while she believes what she is telling you, there may be no basis in fact as to what she is telling you. Dementia can sometimes provide an alternate universe - "bizzaro world".

If you can, try to establish contact with your sister and CALMLY and RESPECTFULLY request that she add you and her grandchildren to the visitor list.

If that is denied try and talk to the social worker at the facility or an attorney to try and get you and the grandchildren on the visitor list.
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Rangers15 May 2021
I already tried my sister blocked my number and sent me a text said lol who’s mom best friend now ! And said good luck helping mom I know you can’t afford lawyer ! I read since she lied to my mom in signing forms it’s considered elderly abuse she took advantage of moms health and she told her she was going to assisted living home while her leg healed because at the time my mom needed therapy she hurt her leg so my mom thought she was actually going just for two weeks ! My mom would never dreamed her daughter would put her in home ! When I talked to my mom she sounds drugged up half the time and all she does is sleep !
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What kind of "home" is this?

My mom's IL, AL and NH had no sort of "list" that one hsd to be on.

Make contact with the social worker and find out what steps you need to take to visit mom.
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Rangers15 May 2021
It’s says it’s a rehabilitation Nursing home center . Last time a aide called me said your mom asked me call you because front desk wouldn’t let her call you with the phone ! And I didn’t want call ask questions about this because I’ll be afraid they might keep phone away from my mom permanently!
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Keep the texts. Call Adult Protective Services in the morning and report CALMLY that you are being prevented from seeing your mother. Ask for their help.

I am going to assume that mom is in REHAB after an injury, which is usual. Not a permanent placement. How was mom being cared for before this?

Make this about what is best for mom and not.about sibling issues.
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Rangers15 May 2021
She was home living her life has lake house her pets going to grocery store etc ! My sister took her out of her home just like that because she started forgetting things she would call us 15 times a day I loved it we talked about everything my sister hated it ! But she was mowing her grass one day but got deep cut from a branch it got infected she told us she scraped her leg so we didn’t think much of it but turned out to be deep cut my sister got tired of helping out with things like taking her to dr etc so she told my mom taking her to get better and heal for a month it’s been 4 months already now . My mom has told my sister take me out she ignores her my mom asked why can’t I see her my sister told my mom I moved out of state she can’t see you anymore! At first my mom believed her until I called one day she started balling crying and I was like mom what what happening she said your sister told me you moved away ! I said mom I’m not moving and why would I ? She said your sister lied again . My mom tells me a man not her regular doctor comes sees my mom at the place and keeps prescribing her meds I asked for a list of the medication and they told me they wouldn’t give it to me because I don’t have authority or her caregiver!
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I know at times tricky has to be done to get a loved one to make a change. But it sucks when a loved one thinks it’s temporary rather than trying to give them the truth or a version of truth (still torn about this).

While I can visit and call, I’m still limited. For example; I asked the nursing home social worker if I could be listed as an emergency contact. No said the social worker. You have to get permission from your sister.

This sister can’t go anywhere because she can’t drive. Second person listed always don’t have enough money or time. And the last person listed never visited let alone help with care.

The main two never visit on a weekly basis but they have to be consulted after I bring up concerns.

Rangers15, Sorry about your heartache! It's so hard down here now!!!
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Whose word are you taking for all this? Your Mom's? Because if this is the case it is important to remember that your Mom is suffering from dementia.
How do you know all this?
If your Sister was caregiver to Mom, and Mom is suffering from dementia and has made your sister her POA, or if your sister has been names as her conservator or guardian, then your sister has every right to put Mom into care. Your Sister is likely managing your Mom's money for her by acting as her POA.
If you believe otherwise and HAVE EVIDENCE of fraud you should contact APS.
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Rangers15 May 2021
Look read the beginning introduction. My sister LIED my mom had no reason to need a POA she’s 68 my sister told my mom sign papers she did thinking they were papers just to put her in hospital while she gets better she didn’t tell her I’m taking over all your life’s choices keeping you away from your other daughter her own sisters her grandchildren! My sister has blocked her from her family to die alone My mom would never ever agreed to that no reason to my mom was just at my home month before this happened if she wanted to be away from me I think we would not have a relationship period nor would I care then if I was estranged daughter. If my sister was taking care of her why not let her live with her she’s not working she lives on 100 acres perfectly good but nope it’s how hurt me and my mom she’s been jealous for past 15 years they were never close !
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Lots of hurt feelings here. I don't understand the facts as presented. Think this is the issue - ineffective commication leading to lack of comprehension. Could be helped by a third party: a Family Mediator, Social Worker or Faith/Community Leader to ensure the facts are made clear to the OP & better comprehended.
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Lots of drama here. I don't know who to believe.
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Rangers15 May 2021
Of course this is drama if there wasn’t! I wouldn’t be on this website first of all asking for help or guidance not for judging! Lol I would LOVE for my sister call me but she can’t even answer a call she knows what’s she’s done is wrong but she care less all she cares is she gots Power ! So unless you been here before or know of someone that’s been in family situation of siblings I don’t need your comments
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Rangers15, in your reply to Alva "my mom had no reason to need a POA she’s 68"

What is you understanding of Dementia?

Were you living with your Mother (in her home) prior to her hospital visit? Or live separately?
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I am so sorry and hope things work out. I will keep you and your mom in my thoughts and prayers.
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Rangers15, sometime the questions we get asked hurt or seem judgmental. I can definitely relate to areas of your post. Still trying to deal with the hurt and still trying to do what I can for remaining parent. I was not consulted about the nursing home decision. When I learned about it, it was already done!

In a way we have to always assume that possibly, maybe without knowing even, we have done something to offend the other person and vice versa. Some of us know how to let it go and some desire with every bone in their body to keep it going any way they can (that is the case with my siblings – two especially). They decide to hate rather than handle with long handle spoon.

So try not to take offense at questions being asked or judgment. I know it feels that way because there is already a sore that’s not healed and this new matter that your sister did with mom just re-infected the sore.

Don’t even entertain this expectation - I would LOVE for my sister call me but she can’t even answer a call she knows what’s she’s done is wrong but she care less all she cares is she gots Power ! 
 
Give it a shot but no expectation (situation will only change if everyone wants it to change. So far I've been the only one trying to get alone even after promises on moms death bed from the other two) - Could be helped by a third party: a Family Mediator, Social Worker or Faith/Community Leader to ensure the facts are made clear to the OP & better comprehended.
 
Ouch {well that is a decision that our sisters get to make but ugly we were not included in the decision} - she’s not working she lives on 100 acres perfectly good

I enjoyed this with my parents as well - she would call us 15 times a day I loved it we talked about everything my sister hated it!
 
I asked for a list of medication and they told me they wouldn’t give it to me because I don’t have authority or her caregiver! – {That is the position of the nursing home my father is in. Goes on to say only the one that signed him in can sign him out even if I/another person wants to take over the care or even to place him on hospice for extra set of eyes.} {Says I can be told how he is doing and visit but nothing more.} {So even when I attend medical appointments with him (so he sees a familiar face and to help, unless the doctor puts suggestions in writing, me letting them know what's said goes unheard - case of specialist requesting primary check for dehydration. Claim it has been done but will not let me see results.}

So again Rangers15 sorry for your heartache. If the free options don’t resolve you being able to visit or help with moms care, you'll have to search for an attorney that you can afford. From my understanding even if your sister ends up getting guardianship, you can request visitation in writing.

Wishing you WELL!
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Ranger, after reading more of your comments and explanations I am going to suggest that you may attempt to contact family mediation to help you. I know that you recognize that we here are hearing only your side of this story. We cannot possibly know the family dynamics at work here and cannot guess at a solution. You DO have our sympathy, but there is little we can do about any of this save give you that sympathy.
Geaton long ago published the family mediation sites that may help you and others in similar situation. I wish you good luck.
Mediate.com Directories of Mediators are at APDMnet.org (Academy of Professional Family Mediators) ACRnet.org is the Assn. for Conflict Resolution.
However your sister did get the POA, it appears that she does have it now. A well written POA gives broad powers to act for a person who has dementia and is unable to act in her own behalf.
I am so sorry for your pain and hope things work out for you.
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