I ask this because I have. I think daily about escape from this prison of servitude that has systematically removed me from the joys of aging and of being a happy participant in and a planner of, birthdays and holidays-which were always my favorite things, and now bring sadness and dread because I no longer have the resources or the energy to do, as well as the daily pain-pain of watching this man drift away in ways that, in themselves are equally tragic to both of us and have no positive resolutions. Yesterday was a good day. I am grateful for it. But that was wiped away at sunrise as he woke with confusion and all that goes with it. The physical pain that my own health issues bring to me daily that I struggle to deal with in order to give care, is often overwhelming. The pain I know he feels somewhere in his confused mind is so sad. Please know that I have, and will again, call a hotline. This has been a very positive experience. I have sought and will continue to seek, counseling. I have people who love me and who I love. I know that ending my own life would cause them tremendous pain, yet this all seems just like a terminal illness. I am not "crying out for help". I sometimes refer to this life experience as "a long day's journey into night", to refer to the play. But some days and in the dark of an interminable sleepless night, I just want to be gone. I am hoping to start an honest dialogue with caregivers and professionals.