I keep getting advice about seeing an attorney and getting guardianship. I have medical POA. Anyone have any advice on this?

I didn't get anywhere with POA for my dad. He had one which assigned me as POA but only one bank would accept it. They all wanted their own forms but he wasn't cognitive enough, at that point, to complete the forms. I did get awarded guardianship and conservatorship about 2 years ago but have also found with that, just because you have it doesn't mean your loved one will do what they are supposed to. My dad has fought me and fought me through this whole thing. It has not been pleasant and has ended up taking a LOT of time and has caused a LOT of problems between my husband and myself. I walk a fine line. I would advise anyone seeking guardianship to seriously think about the time commitment of this and what it will do to your family.

having a financial POA ,as I have heard, is only good with an institution that will accept it. Some banks will only use their own forms.
If she has been diagnosed with dementia, how do you plan to get signature granting you the POA?
I should mention that any closed relative (sibling,child, etc) can file for guardianship and that would trump your POA of any sort, depending upon the type of guardianship filed for and what is granted.
Also the state at some point just might to file for or be appointed as the guardian.
And that may not be good.
Also , in some states there are those that are called professional guardians.
I would suggest that you look up the story about April Parks, Las Vegas. Although Ms Parks in now in prison for what she did, the damage she did cannot be reversed.

Its going to be hard getting financial POA since Mom has been diagnoised with Dementia. She has to assign you and understand what she is signing.

Wow! Caring for both your mom and your MIL while working fulltime? Don't know how you do it but I commend you.

Your first order of business is to read and understand your HCPOA document. Mine authorized me to be my LO's guardian. If yours does, there's no need to seek guardianship.

You might want to get a second opinion on your mom. You say she has been diagnosed with "pseudodementia". That implies a copy cat of dementia and not real dementia. There are over 70 reasons for dementia and some are treatable. Unfortunately, AD is the major cause of dementia, but that wouldn't be categorized as pseudodementia. Another possibility is MCI, mild cognitive impairment, which can lead to dementia but not always. You need a more definitive diagnosis for your mom by a neurologist or gerontologist.

Your situation reminded me of my LO's when she was first diagnosed. She was obsessed with her cat. She worried, fretted and obsessed about the cat all the time. It wasn't healthy. It caused the cat to be miserable, because she wouldn't leave the cat alone. It started acting out. I'd encourage you to go and stay around your mother for a couple of days, so, you can actually see what she is able to to. I was shocked at what I saw. I found filthy bed linens, huge piles of dirty laundry hidden in the closet, spoiled food in the fridge, etc. You might not notice this immediately. I'd make sure I knew exactly what she was capable of and have a list. Are you sure she's bathing? My LO said she was, but, it was a delusion. She had not bathed in a long time.

With this information, I'd consult her doctor and an attorney. (You might first check to see if she has a UTI or some medical issue causing the strange behavior, to rule it out.) Let the attorney review the HCPOA. Some of them provide you with broad powers. See what you can get done using that document. I'd get legal advice on exactly what you can do and what the options are if more is needed. Like, what would you need to prove in court to have her found incompetent and appointed a Guardian. Make sure they are experienced in this and know how her county works in their court system. Knowing what you must prove in court is important. Some places examine if the person is able to run their own household or make their own medical decisions. Her medical doctor may not be aware of how she's not functioning well in the home by herself.

Well, poor kitty is going to be self-limiting problem as it is getting up in age. With your Mom's weight you may be soon looking at hospice. Yes, you should at this point, since you do not have power of attorney for financial but are forced to do it in any case, go for guardianship. When guardianship is conferred the funds for the lawyer can be paid out of Mom's funds, but not until then. This unfortunately can be very expensive. Mom, now with dementia, clearly would not be allowed to confer financial power of attorney on you; guardianship seems to only answer unless someone here has a better idea. See an elder law attorney. It may be worth seeing Mom's doctor first as I see here no indication that your Mom has a diagnosis of dementia.

PoAs can differ: some won't require any proof the person is incapacitated in order to activate it, but others you do have to prove it to activate it. You will need to read your paperwork to figure out which yours is. Who has Financial PoA for her? You will need to communicate with this person. If no one has financial PoA, you should get this taken care of, otherwise you may need to pursue guardianship through the courts in order to make decisions and complete transactions on her behalf. There you will need to prove her incapacity and petition to be her guardian. I don't know what other options are, but some on this forum are attorneys or more familiar with your situation. Also, if she is sliding into dementia she may not remember to eat, even if the food is there in front of her. That's why my MIL needed to go into AL. I wish you all the best in caring for your mom!

You don't have financial POA? If not then guardianship is what you need. Can be expensive but Medicaid may allow you to use Moms money.

Even though you supply her meals, she may not be eating them. The way you describe your Mom, she should not be left alone. She may be in early stages of a Dementia or she could be having mini strokes, this could be the slurring of words. She needs a full physical to rule out a physical problem. She could have a UTI, dehydration, low potassium, diabetes...