I just moved my father into an assisted living, and I was going every day. They say I should stay away for a few weeks, should I?

Yes, stay away for awhile as you have been asked. Staff will call you if you are needed. Staying away will help him to adjust to his new living situation and make friends, get involved with activities. It may be heart wrenching for you, but best for him to become familiar with those that will now provide for his care.

miznag, the way I view this is that your Dad will think if you have enough time to visit him daily, then you have time to move him back home to take care of him.

I know about the guilt, and I was having that, too, even though my Dad really loved his new surroundings :) I was visiting daily, then every other day, then eventually down to once a week for a half hour or so. That gave me breathing room so I could get myself back on a normal cycle after helping my parents for many years

My Dad was dealing with some memory issues, so he needed to have a set routine, thus to ease some of the guilt, I told myself that I was disrupting his set routine by going daily.

Every day maybe much. Staying away a few weeks is a little much. Since Mom is ur priority at the moment, tell Dad that your going to need to visit once a week or so because u need to be there for Mom. He is now clean, fed and being cared for.

I agree with Joann, there is a middle ground between what you are doing now and completely staying away for weeks. Of course he can't get acclimated to the new people and routines if you are taking up the majority of his time but I've never agreed with the advice to completely stay away for weeks - while that might be fine for a parent who was previously independent or whose care was primarily given by hired caregivers, a total separation when you have been intimately intertwined seems too much like abandonment and is needlessly stressful for both of you.

If you feel the staff is taking care of your father and his health issues then YES stay away. This is needed for your health and for him to settle in. Your father will be fine. Let him rant and rave and try not to let guilt take over. Just ask yourself if you were in your father's position would you behave the same way to your daughter or son? Probably not. You would probably thank your daughter for all the work she's done to help you out. I would tell my daughter to take some time for herself and that I will be fine. That's how you should feel too. You've done so much for your father. Pat yourself on the back. It's time for you to slow down and let him sort out his life at his new place. No offense to him but he's a big boy and he shouldn't be so selfish and be ungrateful to you. He'll be fine. He just needs time to figure that out. I moved my mom to assisted living when she showed signs of dementia at 67. I went through the same thing with her but I always knew it was what was next for and that's what got me through it. The guilt will pass once you accept the fact that this is what's best.