I just found out that my elderly mother's caregiver will be spending Thanksgiving with lots of family. I'm concerned. Any advice for me?

I would be concerned too. Is she scheduled to see your mom shortly after her visit with her family?

Is she an agency employee? Have you thought about contacting the agency and expressing your concerns?

Ask them to send out another caregiver until your regular caregiver has quarantined herself and that you know that she is safe to be around your mom again.

If your aide is going to be away spending Thanksgiving with a lot of people, then she will have to quarantine for two weeks after she gets back. Make sure she knows this and that the agency she works for knows too. If they're a decent and competent homecare agency (which are extremely rare), they will send a fill-in to take care of your mom while her regular aide is quarantining. Let them know now that you're requesting a fill-in aide for two weeks.

You can ask the agency but will probably tell you what you want to hear. They really aren’t going to know what their employees do outside of work, they can ask their employees what their plans are but their employees don’t have to share that information. The agency can’t control their employees outside of work. The caregiver has a right to spend the holidays with family and friend and you have a right to decline her services for 2 weeks after. It might be a good idea figure out other arrangements for a few after thanksgiving. Truthfully for all you know the caregiver socializes outside the job regularly as it is.....and I don’t see a point in asking for the agency to send another caregiver when neither you or the agency have no way of knowing what they did over Thanksgiving week either.....

I think it would be reasonable to ask her to stay away for a quarantine period after the holiday. Would you be able to manage without her for two weeks? - better than intruding on her personal arrangements and losing her altogether, perhaps.

She's going to do what she's going to do when it comes to seeing family and friends, she may or may not stick to PPE guidelines and social distancing, and there is no practical way to monitor who she comes into contact with or what precautions she takes. I don't mean this as a criticism of her, because it seems to me that almost everyone is being a lot more stringent and conscientious about the rules in theory than in practice - it's not like she's alone!

I'd be concerned about any caregiver coming after Thanksgiving. Agencies aren't going to restrict their workers as to Thanksgiving activities -- they can recommend, but they can't enforce.

Too many people in the U.S. plan to ignore the guidelines to have household-only Thanksgiving celebrations. Did you see the survey? So I wouldn't assume the fill-in caregiver will be any better!

She will need to either take a test and wait for results before coming back to work or wait for 2 weeks before she returns.

Even with the test, I think they suggest a 7-10 day self quarantine.

This is not the year for the huge family gatherings, etc. We are not having Thanksgiving at all and likely, a 'masked' Christmas where DH and I deliver the gifts and go home. 2 of our 3 families have had COVID, but one hasn't, so they can hang out with the 'clean families' but we can't.

This too shall pass. Dh and I will watch a bunch of movies and maybe go for a long drive---before we know it, we'll be looking back on 2020 and saying 'man, that was a bad year'. Who knows? It might bring us together as a world family, all fighting the same battle.

Probably the best you are going to get is to ask the caregiver to isolate for a few days then take a covid test before returning.
You can ask the agency to send someone else, but you cant be sure that they didn't holiday with family, either. Or if the people that they interact with outside of work hours had a safe holiday.

If you ask the caregiver to isolate for 2 weeks, are you paying her? Can she afford to not get paid for 2 weeks? Is she just going to get assigned to someone else for those 2 weeks?

This is a no win situation for everyone. You may lose the caregiver over this, but if she's making this decision, what other decisions is she making when shes not working that may affect her exposure? Eating out? Masking? Protesting?

Its part of why I am so frustrated with my Mom's memory care. They wont allow me to be an essential caregiver, but since she's just back from a hospitalization after a bad fall and weak still and needs extra help they have required me to pay for an aide to stay with her as she regains strength. But I dont know what these people or their families do on their off time. But, noo, I couldn't even wheel my mom in the building in her wheelchair after she was releaded from the hospital.

I don't blame you for being concerned. I agree with negative test results, taken 5 days apart and 2 week quarantine. Problem is if you request a fill in, how do you know where they were? Next issue is will that potentially exposed caregiver actually quarantine? Or will this be viewed as a 2 week paid vacation to do whatever. Many know what is required but to get them to actually do so is something totally different. Case in point, I know of someone who was exposed at work and told to self quarantine at home for 2 weeks, didn't happen, this person was out at bars and hanging out with others, Facebook posts on other's sites. Can't understand it. I would be asking about precautions and also maybe pointing out that you are concerned she is putting herself in harms way, you don't want anything bad to happen to her, so as to soften your question. Tactfully done, not accusatory. This is a tough, abnormal situation to be in this holiday season.

Yes, call the agency and ask about your concerns.
Ask if they have caregivers who practice the protocols.

The caregiver is not even wise enough to hide it from you. She might be unaware of the Covid risks and protocols. It is the job of the agency to send out safe caregivers.

Kristilynn,

This is very concerning especially as Covid numbers rise all over the world. You have already received some good suggestions from other posters. I have a question for you. How did you hear about the caregiver's plans? If you did not hear about them directly from the caregiver, is there a chance the information may not be accurate?

I like to think I am on the ball, but the other day I completely misinterpreted something I was told. My stress level is quite high and I flipped what was told to me and snapped back. I had to eat crow and apologize. The other person is a very good friend and was understanding once we sorted out why my reaction was inappropriate.

Thanksgiving was last month here in Canada, and I am looking forward to a quiet and potentially very lonely Christmas. I have mused out loud to friends about what we have done in the past, a big fondue dinner on Christmas Eve, followed by a big buffet brunch on Christmas Day. Neither of those events will happen this year, but if I was overheard some might think I was talking about hosting this year too.

It’s sad all around. I hope that your family will be safe during this holiday season.

All of us should be as cautious as possible to avoid the risk of Covid.

Let’s hope this vaccine will lead us in the right direction and that people will take it.

I wonder how many people will refuse to take the vaccine. No one can be forced into taking a vaccine. It’s optional.

I suppose that probably quite a large number of people have concerns about receiving the vaccine.

I can’t wait for 2020 to end. Wishing happier and safer times ahead for all of us.

Absolutely be concerned. Call the agency. You have every right to the safety of your mom.

If it were me, I would ask the agency what kind of testing will they be requiring of their employees after Thanksgiving, It is risky.

Don't blame you.

Immediate family only for Thanksgiving, brother that lives an hour away asked if long time friend can join us and my reply was NOOO. There will be only six of us, we will 6 feet social distance. Two tables set up in adjoining rooms with masks worn before and after dinner. When the pandemic first started I refused my brother entrance to our house and mother. Told him window visit only, felt bad about that. I let the RN do home visits. why not my brother. He is very good, easy going and was ok with it. I think he is looking forward to spending time with all of us. I hope each and everyone of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Please stay healthy and thank you all for your support on this Forum. You are really great people.

You can't monitor the situation in the caregivers' lives or homes. You can put precautions into place in your home: wearing face masks the whole time while there, washing hands or using hand sanitizer when entering home and frequently while in home, and social distance as much as possible. It might also be a good idea for the caregivers to have an overcoat or apron that goes over their "outside of your home" clothes. Also get sanitizing wipes or sprays to use frequently on counters, sinks and knobs.

So if you do not ask then this woman gets Covid and brings it into the house and gives it to your Mother. How ok will that make you feel?

Unfortunatly this Covid thing is putting us all in "not ok" situations. It would be irrsesponsible of you to not ask. Being as your business arrangement is with an agency they have the fudicuray responsibility on this. I would call the agency first let them know you know from the caregiver as to her plans. BE PREPARED to lose her for 14 days after THanksgiving to quarantine. Even if my parent was in perfect health as this Covid thing is SOO contagious and soo risky for elderly, I would not want the caregiver around for 14 days.

You have no idea what caregivers do or where they go after their day is over. They could be going home DAILY to a house full of people that work in a warehouse or factory, the caregiver might stop at a restaurant or bar or a friends house that is having a party.
Having the Agency test the employee prior to coming back to work after the holiday might do no good at all. If they are tested right after, and the test comes back Positive, chances are the did NOT become infected a day or few days previously. People are told that even with a Negative test result they should self-isolate anyway.
Day to day the safest thing you can do for yourself, for mom is :
Anyone should wear a mask.
If possible "social distance"
Wash hands often and or use hand sanitizer.
I would take the caregivers temp EVERYDAY before she enters more than a foot into the house. And go through the list of questions commonly asked almost everywhere now. (Have you traveled to an area that is designated as a "hot spot", have you had any symptoms, have you been in contact with anyone that has had a positive test result, are you having any symptoms, do you work in a long term care facility)

I think this is a talk that you should have with the agency ask what their instructions to staff has been. Do they test their employees, if so how often? What is their policy if someone gets sick? (Often people will still come to work even if they are not feeling well because they need the pay, if they were getting paid when they are sick they may be inclined to remain at home.)

If they send a replacement to you while your regular caregiver is self isolating or is in quarantine you are pretty much in the same spot since you do not know what they have done the previous week, they may have had their big family gathering the week before.

whew I’d be concerned too! Even if she socialises outside of thanksgiving, going to two different family gatherings where she will be inside mixing with a large number of people for a prolonged period she is at increased risk. Is she tested regularly? I think I would insist that she has 2 clear tests a week apart before she came back to your mom. My mother in law has not had physical contact with anyone since March to be safe. It’s hard but a lot harder if she gets covid!

Call the agency and ask that she be given a covid test prior to returning to work. When she does return, her temp should be taken upon arrival and maybe every 4 hours while she's working. She should already be wearing a mask at ALL times while she is in your home - if she's not, you need to enforce it. Wearing gloves if she is preparing food or touching your mom, removing them and replacing them after each task. This should be already happening because you have no idea who she is around when not at work, nor if she happens to be a non-masker on her own time.

Since she is traveling and visiting 2 different families that she is not usually living with, I don't think it's too much to ask agency to quarantine her for 14 days or recommended number of days post travel. Just to be on the safe side.

Get a tablet or log of some kind for her to record her temps. Have plenty of gloves and hand sanitizer in the home. If you can locate one, get one of those thermometers that rolls along the forehead (not an oral one) and have it handy at the front door as well. These items can be used for all visitors.

If she is coming into your mothers home, you might even try to be there yourself (if you don't trust the agency) to check her temperature and see that she has mask and gloves.

With the spread of this virus and the way things are now, no one should be doing that. Especially caring for the elderly. You would think she would know that. Lets hope the vaccine will be out soon.

Ask the agency to test her after the holiday before she returns.

You have some excellent advice here. My all means be concerned.
Contact the agency. Check with the caregiver if she is taking precautions. Try to get her to cancel the trip. As the Governor of New York says: "Don't be the turkey this Thanksgiving. Tell your loved ones that you love them so much you are NOT coming to see them." PERSONALLY, WITH MY WIFE IN BED AT HOME 10 YEARS INTO ALZHEIMER'S I WOULD REQUIRE ANY CAREGIVER WHO DOES WHAT YOUR CAREGIVER IS DOING TO BE TESTED ON RETURN AND TO SELF-ISOLATE IN THEIR OWN HOME FOR 10 DAYS BEFORE RETURNING TO YOUR HOME. YOU CAN LOOK AFTER YOUR MUM OR GET HELP FROM ONE OR TWO OTHER CAREGIVERS WHO HAVE NOT TRAVELED.

The reality is that if visitors gather, they are just as likely to give covid19 to those they meet as to receive it from them. One USA Governor estimated that if 10 people gathered inside for a long meal there was a 50% chance that someone had covid and was transmitting it to others. With 50 million people already booked on airlines within the USA, that is probably an underestimate.

All the best in these challenging times

Check with the agency over your concerns. I don't blame you for being concerned.

I'd fire anyone that uncaring about her health and everyone she she comes in contact with. There are going to be a lot of deaths just before Christmas.

what makes you think another caregiver will not be equally exposed to people--your current one should have kept their mouth shut about their holiday plans. Everytime you go shopping makes you equally exposed.

If you are so concerned about COVID you need to totally 100% isolate her and allow no caregivers to come over. You do the care 100% and do not ever go out and wipe everything down you buy including groceries before bringing them into the house. I mean NO visitors at all.

In case you have not noticed, about 50% to 75% of the people I seen wearing masks in stores do it incorrectly with their noses exposed which is the same as having no mask at all.

Good luck!

just tell her for the sake of your mother's health she will need to quarantine per CDC guidelines - which I believe is 14 days.

I don't blame you for being concerned.  I am guessing she is already exposing herself to extended friends and family and Thanksgiving is not going to be a change for her.

I would express your concerns to the Agency and ask what their plan is when their employees are not following recommendations from the CDC.  With that being said, I don't think you're going to be able to do anything about it because it's not a mandate...it's a recommendation.

There is no point in testing her if she isn't going to quarantine for two weeks.  The caregiver could have Thanksgiving with 50 people on Thursday, get tested on Monday and test negative.  It can take up to 2 weeks before symptoms appear and or a test comes up positive.

Just make sure that she keeps her mask on, sanitizes her hands and wipes down everything before she leaves your moms house. That is really all you can do outside of firing the agency you've hired and taking care of mom yourself.

Let the Cafegiver and the agency know of your concerns and tell her once she gets back you would like her not to come around for 14 days and during the 14 days, use a different Caregiver.

You are absolutely right to be concerned. Anyone who is travelling as well as celebrating in two different households would appear not to take the threat seriously.
Definitely ask the agency what their policy is. I would suggest asking that this caregiver stay away from your mother for at least 4 days upon her return and that she then be tested for COVID - if she has been exposed and is asymptomatic, it can show up on a test then. Another thing you could do is ask the caregiver to leave a set of clothes she will change into when she arrives at your house; you can launder it between visits. You may also wish to have the caregiver wear not only a mask but a face shield as well. This disease is real and it is a serious health threat not only to frail elderly but to healthy younger people. With over a quarter million of dead in the USA, this is not a joke or something to be taken lightly.

My wife, with mult-imorbidites was recently in the hospital for 10 days. I asked the staff how often they were tested and the response was only when exposed without PPEs in place.

If you require the caregiver to wear an approved mask, gloves and follow all other precautions, your mother may be as safe as she would be in the hospital.